Technology’s impact on adolescents and young boys has been the subject of discussion and concern for decades. This new wave of AI tools has tightened the loop between technology and culture, with technology influencing mindsets and behavior and vice versa. An October 2025 report by Common Sense Media coined the term “digital masculinity” to describe the ways in which masculinity is defined, conveyed, and negotiated online specifically. Young men and adolescent boys seem to be especially vulnerable to this kind of messaging.

As expected, the study showed that boys are regularly served up content that harms their self-esteem and that perpetuates problematic mindsets around women and girls. Forty-four percent were exposed to content about making money, 39 percent about building muscle, and 35 percent around fighting or weapons. Sixty-nine percent of adolescent boys regularly see messages that girls only want to date certain types of guys (28 percent), and that girls use their looks to get what they want (25 percent).

Digital environments, where sound bites camouflage as sound advice and influencers pose as authorities, seem like the perfect place for the clear and simple solutions to complex identity questions teens seek during this phase. Indeed, 94% of the 1,000 boys surveyed said they were online daily.

The impact on boys’ psyche and mental health is real. Those with high exposure to these digital masculinity messages had lower self-esteem, were lonelier, and were more likely to adhere to “unwritten rules” of masculinity, like not showing fear or expressing their feelings. One in four said social media makes them feel pressure to change how they look.

Perhaps the most troubling finding in this dataset is the fact that this is not content that boys are actively seeking when they are online. Sixty-eight percent said it just showed up in their feeds while on platforms such as YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram. The algorithm is obviously able to detect teen male users and is programmed to send them content that will create a reaction.

All is not lost.

An analysis of the data reveals patterns and offers clues about how we can support boys and mitigate the downsides of problematic messages they encounter online. Specifically:

  1. Boys want role models. While boys seem to find inspiration and answers from online influencers, the study shows that many more of them look to their fathers and other male guardians in their lives, including coaches and teachers. This is an area in which familial and community bonds can be ramped up to be particularly impactful.
  2. Boys can give but not receive care. Despite online pressure to repress and suppress their feelings, boys still demonstrate a tremendous capacity for empathy for others. For example, they believe that they should be friendly to people even if they are not being friendly to them and that they should put others’ needs and feelings before their own. The researchers suggest a tension: Boys feel comfortable caring for others but not for themselves. Helping boys to understand and express their needs, to ask for help, and to create safe spaces to support one another will go a long way toward healthy masculinity.
  3. Social support is the antidote. This report revealed a powerful nugget about the importance of real-life relationships: Boys with at least one human support show significantly better self-esteem and attitudes about themselves. Their parents are their first choice when they’re in a difficult situation, followed by friends and then siblings. But, as boys get more sucked into digital masculinity messaging, they become less likely to turn to parents for support. It is critical for families to stay consistently engaged and close to their kids.

Tips from a sexologist:

Conversations about relationships, sexuality, and identity often bring up concerns and fears in parents. Here are three simple tips to get you started:

  • It’s not one “talk”: We’ve been conditioned to believe you get one shot at one conversation with your kids, and that you either do it well or screw it up. The reality is, you’re dealing with multiple “talks” and more than the talk itself, it is the creation and modeling of an open and safe space—to learn, to be curious, to converse.
  • Ask, don’t tell: Teenagers often report that in conversations about sex and relationships, parents tend to talk at their kids, more than engage in a dialogue. It becomes less of a conversation and more of a compendium of dos and don’ts. Today’s environments are complex and ever-changing. Be the student as much as you try to be the teacher.
  • Be open and authentic: Kids can tell when their parents are uncomfortable, and research shows that anxious and avoidant parents create anxious and avoidant kids around topics of sex and relationships. Be honest when you’re out of your depth and be genuine about wanting to learn more. Follow up when you’re thrown a question you don’t have the answer to.

While digital masculinity is still an emerging field of study, patterns are emerging through studies like these. Lean in to the conversation—data shows our boys want it.