It’s, quite frankly, an unforgiveable sin wrapped in brioche
There’s perhaps a reason why the Mince Pie sandwich was the only one left in the meal deal aisle…
Have you ever had a mince pie and thought to yourself ‘oh yes, this would go down well in a tortilla wrap with a big dollop of crème fraîche’? No, me neither. But the bigwigs at Sainsbury’s certainly did – and they’ve unleashed a sheer festive terror onto their meal deal aisles.
Amongst the usual selection of sandwiches, wraps and salads, there are always expected to be a few Christmas twists on the old classic. Hog roast? Fine. Brie and Cranberry? Love it. Turkey and Stuffing? Sure, it’s a treat on the build-up to the real thing. But five words well and truly stopped me in my tracks when I popped in for a pint of milk one midweek evening: Mince Pie Brioche Style Wrap.
It’s, quite frankly, enough to make even the seasoned of Christmas connoisseurs recoil. It’s festive season gone mad. In fact, upon sharing the meal deal discovery with my colleagues, one charmingly said it ‘looked like sick’. Therein, the challenge of trying it for myself lit up like a beacon of festive lights where only the brave venture forth.
I’m presuming the MPBSW is the aftermath of M&S’s recent Strawberry Sando viral success. It made people question whether sweet sandwiches (or cakes) were worthy of being part of the lunchtime meal deal offerings or whether they were a treat gone rogue. Either way, Tesco soon followed suit with their own twisted creation in the form of a Birthday Cake flavoured sandwich. But maybe Sainsbury’s have now taken things way too far.
One colleague told me it looked like sick and, well, it’s a fair comment
The MPBSW is, wait for it, made up of the aforementioned crème fraîche, alongside a mincemeat-style compote, salted caramel sauce, and shortcake biscuit pieces, all neatly folded within a brioche style tortilla wrap. My dentist is calling me for an emergency appointment as we speak. For the health conscious amongst us, it’s 542kcal a pack with 55% of your daily fat saturated in it. It also makes up 32% of your daily recommended intake of carbs and 29% of sugars. Basically, you get the gist…
Opening up the pack, I’m not sure what to expect. I do enjoy a mince pie, so there is a possibility that I may like it although I don’t think I’ll ever really like the idea of it. First impressions are that it does not smell like a mince pie. It smells of sweet caramel, it smells of crème fraîche. Tucking in, it doesn’t taste like a mince pie either.
I imagine the taste is basically like the result of letting a five-year-old loose in the kitchen and told to make up something exciting to put on the Christmas party table with the leftovers in the fridge. There is so much going on. It tastes like sour cream has had a battle with caramel sauce and biscuits and absolutely no one came out triumphant.
Absolutely nobody asked for a Mince Pie Brioche Style Wrap, you can’t convince me otherwise
There are quite literally so many different tastes, textures and flavours going on that it’s an overstimulation of the highest degree to eat. I don’t know what I’m tasting, and I really don’t want to know either. It doesn’t work, it does not make me feel festive. In fact, my teeth are already screeching out in pain as I chomp down on each bite.
Putting brutality aside for one second, the small dollops of mincemeat are nice on their own. It’s the mix of sweet and savoury, with festive spices, that feels comforting and familiar. The sad thing is that it’s mostly made up of things I like. I like mince pies, I like caramel shortbread, I like brioche. What I don’t like, I’ve now happily realised, is them all together in a wrap with some crème fraîche slathered in-between each of them.
I love the thought that this was created in a boardroom of supermarket execs and someone okayed it. When I visited my local Sainsbury’s on a midweek evening, it was quite literally the only sandwich left on the aisle of the meal deal selections. There was a whole row of the thing, and I also quite enjoy the vision that someone was so desperate for a quick grab-and-go lunch that they conceded and grabbed it up as their only option alongside their usual San Pellegrino and Piper’s Crisps. What a fool.
There’s so much going on that it’s an overstimulation of the palette
It’s absolute havoc on the palette, and it’s still not forgiven me for this disaster. However, if I have somehow managed to convince you to pick one up (don’t), then it’s priced at around £3.50 individually or also £3.95 as part of a meal deal. If you get it as a meal deal, at least you can get a drink and a side that you might actually enjoy?
Sometimes, less is more. Sometimes, Sainsbury’s, we don’t need our mince pies in wraps alongside caramel sauce and thick cultured French cream. Stick to the trusted classic, please. Don’t ruin Christmas, I beg you.