It’s been five months since the internet first went into a frenzy over the so-called #coldplaygate — the kiss cam scandal at a July Coldplay concert that made international news. After Kristin Cabot, the woman at the center of the ordeal, broke her silence this week, people on social media began debating the situation… again.
In a profile published in the New York Times on Thursday, Cabot reflected on the viral moment and how her life has changed since. To recap: Cabot, then the head of HR at tech company Astronomer, was spotted on a jumbotron at the concert at Gillette Stadium in Foxborough, Massachusetts, cozied up with her boss, Andy Byron, then the CEO of the company. Once Cabot and Byron realized they were on the big screen, the pair could be seen scrambling to separate and hide their faces.
Their reaction prompted lead singer Chris Martin to quip onstage at the time: “Either they’re having an affair or they’re just very shy.” A clip of the two on the jumbotron was posted on TikTok and it quickly went viral, amassing over 60 million views within the next 48 hours. Cabot and Byron’s identities were revealed by internet sleuths shortly after the kiss cam clip surfaced online.
Cabot told The Times that she’s faced harsh comments online from people calling her names like slut and homewrecker. She said she was doxxed, received death threats and faced insults from people while out in public. Cabot claimed that both she and Byron were separated from their spouses at the time of the concert, and that that night was the first and only time they had kissed. Both Byron and Cabot resigned from Astronomer in the aftermath of the scandal.
In the weeks following the concert, the widely reported kiss cam scandal became the inspiration for many memes and the butt of countless jokes. It also sparked a lot of discussions and debates about relationships, workplace dynamics, infidelity, internet culture and public shaming. And now that Cabot has broken her silence, people on social media are revisiting the issue, sharing wide-ranging reactions from some condemning the intense public shaming Cabot has had to endure, to others continuing to criticize Cabot and Byron’s behavior.
Regardless of where you stand on the issue, the kiss cam moment clearly struck a nerve with many people around the world. We talked to therapists to break down why they think the July incident became such a scandal in the first place.
Jim Dyson via Getty Images
Chris Martin of Coldplay photographed performing on August 22, 2025 in London, England.
Why did the Jumbotron moment become as big as it did?
Racine R. Henry, a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified clinical trauma professional, thinks that a big factor in why Cabot and Byron’s appearance on the kiss cam went viral had to do with their “intense reaction” on display.
“Not only the couple but also the other woman that Kristin turned to. Everyone looked ‘caught’ and guilty,” Henry told HuffPost. She later continued: “We aren’t usually privy to an assumed affair in real time; it felt like a screenplay occurring. If the couple had just continued to smile and waited for the camera to move before they reacted, the clip wouldn’t have gotten any attention at all.”
Carlos Cano-Gutierrez, a licensed clinical social worker with Thriveworks, emphasized that we live in a polarized culture.
“We have been conditioned with the increase of access to information at a moment’s notice to always look for and latch on to things that trigger strong emotions in us,” he told HuffPost. “I think the incident struck a nerve because it really hit on people’s sense of right and wrong.”
“The thought of two individuals who were potentially jeopardizing their families and their company in some way felt like a selfish act to so many and why I think the outrage was swift in the court of public opinion,” he continued.
Hudson Smith, a licensed professional counselor with Thriveworks pointed out that the clip of Cabot and Byron was “short and ambiguous” and that that “invites people to fill in the blanks with their own experiences,” he told HuffPost.
“It was a private moment becoming very public,” he later added. “That kind of boundary collapse creates discomfort and curiosity, and social media tends to amplify anything that sparks moral judgment or strong emotion.”
Many people assumed Cabot and Byron were having an affair. Why do people react strongly to perceived infidelity?
Smith said that infidelity tends to trigger strong reactions from people because it hits a “very basic human wiring around trust and safety.”
“Even when it involves strangers, perceived cheating activates our attachment systems. It brings up fears about betrayal, deception, and fairness. Things that are deeply personal,” he said. “A lot of people weren’t just reacting to this situation; they were projecting their own experiences or anxieties around trust being broken.”
Smith added that there was also a strong moral component to the public reaction and that “people tend to see infidelity as a clear violation of social and relational rules, so it quickly becomes something to judge or take a stance on.”
Henry said that cheating scandals are “exciting, as terrible as that sounds.”
“People react so strongly because it is one of the few relationship issues that is categorically wrong and bad. In a monogamous relationship, the golden rule is to not be unfaithful,” she said. “As a therapist, I can appreciate and understand the nuances of infidelity without villainizing the offender but on the surface it is simply wrong.”
Henry also noted that the incident happened at a public space, and that people likely felt that Cabot and Byron “had the audacity to flaunt their affair where anyone could have seen them.”
Cano-Gutierrez said that people “love love” and that “relationships and commitment are still a universally sacred institution for many.”
“Infidelity hits at the deepest places of human hurt,” he added.
Generally speaking, do we as a society judge infidelity too harshly?
“I think society could definitely serve to be more compassionate towards situations of infidelity,” Cano-Guiterrez said. “In today’s cancel culture, it’s easy to immediately condemn and call infidelity wrong but at it’s core, infidelity is a symptom of a deeper problem. Sometimes there’s a way forward and people can rebuild the trust, resentment, and deep issues that lead to infidelity in the first place.”
“While infidelity deserves to be condemned, the people who are involved in it deserve the chance to own their mistakes and the grace to learn and grow,” he added.
Smith said that society tends to respond to infidelity in “very binary ways,” but that “relationships exist within much broader contexts.”
“When we jump to shaming, we overlook the complexities that exist within relationships and turn a human failure into a moral identity,” he said.
“In clinical work, meaningful change usually comes from curiosity and responsibility, not humiliation,” he later continued. “So rather than asking whether infidelity deserves condemnation, we should examine whether our reactions promote healing or punishment.”
Smith emphasized that we can hold boundaries around harm while also “recognizing that relationships and people are more complicated than a single moment or choice.”
Henry said she doesn’t think society can improve on the judgement of infidelity “without it being coupled with infidelity being normalized, and it shouldn’t be.”
“While there are valid reasons for treating those who commit infidelity with empathy, it is still a selfish choice among a host of other available options,” she said.
But Henry doesn’t think shaming those who cheat is necessary or helpful.
“When couples come to therapy for healing from infidelity, one of the hardest things for the partner who was betrayed to embrace is that while their partner choosing to cheat was wrong and a horrible thing, that person is/was also in pain and has hurt to heal from,” she said.
And Henry, Smith and Cano-Guiterrez all agree that in general, society tends to be harsher on women involved in cheating scandals than men.
“Women always get more scrutiny because our society only allows males to misbehave,” Henry said. “When men cheat, it’s because ‘boys will be boys’ or because an irresistible woman presented an unavoidable temptation.”
Overall, Smith emphasized that it’s important to remember that “accountability and compassion are not mutually exclusive.”
“It’s possible to question someone’s choices without dehumanizing them,” he added.