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Aside from the funny business happening on the 22 yards of rolled grass conditions are perfect. Glorious afternoon sunshine bathes the MCG, it’s about 20C, and there’s a gentle cooling breeze. Mitchell Starc has the new ball, Zak Crawley is on strike…
The two teams are back out in the middle. There’s an hour of play before the Tea break. WinViz reckons England will win from this position three times out of four. I think WinViz might have been hammering the Christmas chocolate liqueurs.
Or is this another opportunity for Australia to ram home their ascendancy? Mitchell Starc with another first-over wicket? Scott Boland to further improve his minuscule MCG average?
Is this finally England’s moment of redemption? After his week from hell can Ben Duckett anchor a successful chase? Will Jacob Bethell arrive as a Test cricketer?
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Jonathan Howcroft
Thank you very much Rob. What a ludicrous Test this has been, and will doubtless continue to be, regardless of the outcome.
After just four and a half sessions of play the final act is already on stage. England need 175 runs, Australia ten wickets (assuming Gus Atkinson takes guard with his dodgy hammy). For England it would mean the highest score of the match, in the fourth innings. For Australia it likely means a second two-day Test victory of the series.
I’ll hand over to Jonathan Howcroft for the England runchase. And yes, we really are heading into the fourth innings after 109.4 overs of play.
Updated at 22.03 EST
WICKET! Australia 132 all out (Richardson c Crawley b Stokes 7)
One shot too many for Jhye Richardson, who hacks a Stokes short ball miles in the air and is caught by Crawley at cover. England need 175 to win this preposterous Test match.
That’s the same total Australia were chasing on this ground in 1998, when Dean Headley and Darren Gough bowled England to a famous victory.
Ben Stokes leads England off the MCG after Australia are all out for 132 in their second innings of the fourth Ashes Test. Photograph: James Ross/AAPShare
Updated at 22.12 EST
34th over: Australia 131-9 (Smith 23, Richardson 7) Smith again takes a single off the first ball of the over. Richardson shows why Smith trusts him by swivel-pulling Carse excellently for three runs. Later in the over he plays an even better shot, rifling a drive down the ground for four. Australia lead by 173.
33rd over: Australia 122-9 (Smith 21, Richardson 0) Steve Smith takes a single off Stokes’ first ball, exposing the No11 Jhye Richardson – but he gets in line when he can and survives the rest of the over. Richardson, as my colleague Jonathan Howcroft points out, is a pretty good No11: he has a first-class batting average of 22.
Stokes is limping slightly as well.
Updated at 21.54 EST
32nd over: Australia 121-9 (Smith 20, Richardson 0) So what does Steve Smith do now?
ShareWICKET! Australia 121-9 (Starc c Root b Carse 0)
This is getting silly. Yesterday Brydon Carse dismissed Mitchell Starc off what looked like an uncalled no-ball. Today he gets Starc with the seventh ball of the over after being called for a no-ball even though it looked like he had a bit of his foot behind the line.
Not that England will care. Starc was undone by another fine delivery that took the edge and was snaffled by Joe Root at first slip. Carse has four, England have nine.
Brydon Carse celebrates taking the wicket of Mitchell Starc at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. Photograph: Martin Keep/AFP/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 21.59 EST
WICKET! Australia 120-8 (Neser ct and b Carse 0)
And another one goes by. Michael Neser tries to turn Carse to leg and gets a leading edge back to the bowler, who pouches a good catch to his left.
That’s the 28th wicket of the match. We’ve only had 107 overs of play.
Brydon Carse dismisses Michael Neser caught and bowled on day two of the fourth Ashes Test. Photograph: Hamish Blair/APShare
Updated at 21.51 EST
31st over: Australia 119-7 (Smith 19, Neser 0) That’s the second time today that Stokes has struck with the fifth ball of a new spell.
ShareWICKET! Australia 119-7 (Green c Brook b Stokes 19)
A poor shot from Cameroon Green, who follows a seaming lifter from Ben Stokes – a ball he could left all day long – and is smartly caught by Harry Brook at second slip. Are England still in this game? Not a clue, but I do know Australia’s lead is 161.
Ben Stokes celebrates with teammates after taking the wicket of Cameron Green. Photograph: Robbie Stephenson/PAShare
Updated at 21.47 EST
30th over: Australia 119-6 (Smith 19, Green 19) Tongue is bowling very straight, particularly to Cam Green, but at the moment it’s Carse who is looking the more dangerous bowler. England need a wicket pretty soon.
29th over: Australia 116-6 (Smith 18, Green 17) Smith edges Carse fractionally short of Brook, diving forward at second slip. Later in the over he plays and misses at a snorter and, like Head earlier in the day, almost bursts out laughing at how difficult batting is on this pitch.
Updated at 21.35 EST
28th over: Australia 114-6 (Smith 17, Green 16) A maiden from Tongue to Green. England will have to make the highest score of the match to win, just as Australia did at Perth last month.
27th over: Australia 114-6 (Smith 17, Green 16)
Smith is not out!
It wasn’t umpire’s call – it was missing leg stump and England lose a review. They have two remaining.
England review for LBW against Smith! A full ball from Carse seams between the legs of Smith and flies down the leg side for four byes.
Carse continues to target the stumps, leading to an LBW review later in the over. Jamie Smith looked very confident. It might be umpire’s call, in which case Steve Smith will be not out.
26th over: Australia 110-6 (Smith 17, Green 16) A profitable start for Australia, with Green hitting Tongue for successive boundaries. The first was an edge wide of second slip, the second a routine flick to fine leg.
An overthrow from Bethell makes it 12 from the over.
The afternoon session is about to begin. Josh Tongue will continue the spell he began before the break.
“Morning/evening Rob, from a sunny Melbourne Zoo,” writes OBO royalty Guy Hornsby. “I was at the G for yesterday’s chaos, a perfect example of England hope dashed by its own frailty. Despite all the afternoon gloom, it was a stirring day, ticking off a bucket list experience in the cauldron of cricket with my brother and daughter, and a host of English and local nerds. That’s what it’s all about after all, eh?
“What a time to be an England bowler, though. Putting the shifts in, only to be slowly broken by our batters’ profligacy. I’m not sure this pitch will be remembered fondly, whatever the result (who am I kidding!). It’s not an even contest between bat and ball, whatever your metric, which is a huge shame.”
Lunchtime reading
ShareLunch: Australia lead by 140 runs
25th over: Australia 98-6 (Smith 16, Green 6) After clipping Carse for two to get off the mark, Green ducks into a nasty delivery that hits him on the left arm. A thick edge for four is the last incident of another manic session, in which six wickets fell for 94 runs in 24 overs and England lost Gus Atkinson – possibly for the rest of the series – to a hamstring injury.
Ben Stokes and Joe Root walk from the MCG after England take six wickets in the first session on day two of the fourth Ashes Test. Photograph: Quinn Rooney/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 21.26 EST
24th over: Australia 92-6 (Smith 16, Green 0) Amid the clatter of wickets, this is an important knock for Cameron Green. He’s averaging 19 with the bat in this series and has found some weird and wonderful ways to get out.
For now it’s Steve Smith’s who’s on strike to Josh Tongue. He survives an LBW appeal (too high), nails a majestic on-drive for four and is beaten by a cracking delivery.
Updated at 20.27 EST
23rd over: Australia 88-6 (Smith 12, Green 0) Australia’s lead is now 130 runs.
ShareWICKET! Australia 88-6 (Carey c Brook b Carse 4)
This is getting a bit farcical. Alex Carey has gone for four, caught smartly by Brook at second slip after fiddling at a wobble-seam delivery. He was probably unsettled by a ball earlier in the over that exploded past the edge. It was nicely bowled by Carse but we’ve now had 26 wickets in less than 100 overs of play.
Brydon Carse dismisses Alex Carey on day two of the fourth Ashes Test. Photograph: Gareth Copley/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 20.24 EST
22nd over: Australia 87-5 (Smith 11, Carey 4) Alex Carey walks to the crese with around 15 minutes to play until lunch. He gets off the mark in typically crisp style, punching a drive through mid-off for four.
“I’m going to get my Happy New Year to you in now, since I doubt this Test match is going to get much closer to the end of 2025,” writes Paul Cockburn. “In all the years you’ve been watching this stuff, has there ever been such a gulf between what was hoped for in this Ashes series, and what transpired? Even if England drag a win out of this or the next, the Ashes were still gone in just 11 days. And, let’s face it, Australia are going to put up just enough runs this time out for England to be done yet again.”
In my cricket-watching lifetime, the only series that comes close is 1989. But this has been the most dispiriting Ashes series I can recall.
ShareWICKET! Australia 83-5 (Khawaja c sub b Tongue 0)
Another two-day Test is incoming. Usman Khawaja has gone for nought, flapping a surprise bouncer from Tongue straight to the substitute Ollie Pope at long leg. Australia lead by 125 runs.
Usman Khawaja is caught off the bowling of Josh Tongue. Photograph: Asanka Brendon Ratnayake/ReutersShare
Updated at 20.21 EST
21st over: Australia 82-4 (Smith 11, Khawaja 0) That was the last ball of the over, Carse’s first after replacing Ben Stokes.
Updated at 20.11 EST
WICKET! Australia 82-4 (Head b Carse 46)
Travis Head is bowled by an utterly unplayable delivery from Brydon Carse. It pitched on a length and snapped off the seam to trim the off bail as Head tried to play the line. Head walks off smiling, almost laughing at the futility of it all.
Travis Head is bowled by Brydon Carse on day two of the fourth Ashes Test. Photograph: Hamish Blair/APShare
Updated at 20.19 EST
20th over: Australia 79-3 (Head 46, Smith 8) Head scrunches a very full delivery from Tongue through the covers for three more. He’s looking hella dangerous now; in fact Australia already lead by more (121) than England scored in the first innings (110).
“I love the idea that for the sake of this becoming a contest, England could have the best batting conditions of the match in their second innings,” writes Paul Billington. “But what if, all of a sudden, they start batting like complete berks? I’m concerned that, in the words of Blur, it really really really could happen.”
When days four and five seem to fall through you/Well just let them go.
19th over: Australia 73-3 (Head 43, Smith 5) Wowsers. Head gets down on one knee to larrup Stokes over mid-off for four. He could be on course to equal Michael Slater’s Ashes record of three second-innings centuries in the 1998-99 series.
“G’day Rob,” writes Sarah Bacon. “Accustomed as I am to random gambling and/or investment ads during the cricket, I was somewhat flummoxed by a service called lovehoney. What the ….?!!!”
What’s wrong with celebrating a popular sweet and viscous substance made by several species of bees?
18th over: Australia 68-3 (Head 38, Smith 5) Steve Smith, who has had problems of his own against Tongue, drives his first ball assertively through the covers for three. That’s a nice statement of intent.
Marnus Labuschagne v Josh Tongue in this series
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26 balls
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7 runs
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3 wickets
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2.33 average
ShareWICKET! Australia 61-3 (Labuschagne c Root b Tongue 8)
I take it all back: the third umpire has given Labuschagne out. He pushed at a fine delivery from Tongue, who is rapidly becoming his nemesis, and was caught very low by Root at first slip. The ball definitely bounced – but the third umpire concluded, rightly I think, that it bounced off Root’s fingers after he managed to get them under the ball. If so, it was a cracking catch.
Josh Tongue celebrates taking the wicket of Marnus Labuschagne on day two of the fourth Ashes Test. Photograph: Quinn Rooney/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 19.54 EST
England think Labuschagne has been caught at slip – but it’s gone to the third umpire and you know what that usually means.