Joe Root and Ben Stokes of England watch as Australia celebrate their victory
GARETH COPLEY/GETTY IMAGES
First, the good news: Joe Root finally made a century down under. Then he made another one for good measure. Young Jacob Bethell, the youngest Englishman since Len Hutton to score 150 in a Test, looks the real deal. Josh Tongue bowled well. The Barmy Army remained in good voice. Attendance figures were excellent. The Australians proved perfect hosts. Their team, not outstandingly gifted and missing three key bowlers for all or large parts of the series, competed in their customary tough, disciplined and aggressive manner. Congratulations on a well-deserved 4-1 victory.
And yet the sad truth is Australia did not have to dig all that deep to retain the Ashes, merely perform the basics of Test cricket to their usual high standards while their opponents imploded. The returning England team, their coaches and management, will surely bitterly regret this squandered opportunity to give the old enemy a genuine contest in their own back yard.
The tour preparation, such as it was, was lamentable, the selection process muddled, the mid-tour beach booze-up in Noosa ill-conceived. England’s batting smacked of arrogance, the bowling grew ever more toothless and the (non) catching was, on occasion, humiliating.
There is no shame in losing to a superior side. But to be eclipsed by an eminently beatable outfit, in the marquee event of your sport, through your own poor planning and seeming lack of application, is a grave indictment of the current regime. When your charges win, lounging about, shoes off and shades on, looks cool. When they lose, a hands-off approach looks like you are not earning your money. So-called no-consequence cricket, in which several players appeared guaranteed their place despite risible returns, ultimately proved disastrous. Those responsible need to acknowledge their failure.