Meggan Grubb and her husband suffered a chemical pregnancy where they miscarried their baby early on (Picture: @meggangrubb)
Stood in her pyjamas, Meggan Grubb, 30, says she was ‘overcome with happiness’ when she saw a faint positive result appear on her pregnancy test.
Calling her husband, Naill, in the bathroom, the pair hugged as they celebrated their much-longed-for second child, a brother or sister for two-year-old Winnie.
‘We’d been actively trying for a few months, so I tested 11 days post-ovulation,’ Meggan tells Metro. ‘It was slightly earlier than my period was due but I was tracking my cycle.
‘I felt like I knew it was going to be positive because I had these strong symptoms and I’m really in tune with what my body is doing.’
Despite being so early, Meggan and Niall were excited. They decided to keep the news a secret until they saw their families in person.
‘I immediately started thinking ahead,’ says Meggan. The family take Halloween pretty seriously in their house, last year dressing up as Mike and Boo, while Winnie was an adorable Sulley. ‘I thought it would be so cute, because the baby would be born around Halloween.’
Meggan, her husband Niall, and their daughter Winnie, with their three pets (Picture: @meggangrubb)
But despite the positive result, Meggan, an influencer, says she had a ‘strange’ feeling that she should keep testing.
So, she took another, digital, test the following day. This time, the result read ‘not pregnant’.
Megan rationalised that, as she was so early, her hCG levels — the hormone produced during pregnancy, which are detected in tests — would likely still be low, so she wasn’t ‘concerned’.
‘I took another digital test the next day, and this time it was positive. But something inside me was telling me to keep testing,’ she recalls.
‘I was doing more line tests for a few days after.‘ But with each test, the lines were fading, and so were her symptoms.
The vivid dreams, waves of nausea, a high temperature, and acid reflux all seemed to ease.
‘I was in denial,’ she says. ‘I was so naïve to what could go wrong.’
It was during these few days, that a TikTok video popped up on Meggan’s feed, from a young woman who’d had a chemical pregnancy.
A very early miscarriage, chemical pregnancies usually happen at around five weeks, and can happen for various reasons.
Meggan and Niall have been trying to give Winnie a sibling for months (Picture: @meggangrubb)
Some occur because the lining of the womb has not developed correctly, and an embryo cannot embed properly. Others happen because there are chromosomal issues with the embryo, meaning the pregnancy cannot develop.
It’s estimated that 10 to 20% of pregnancies are chemical pregnancies. It’s possible that they can happen without any symptoms, and can go undetected if you don’t miss a period or take a pregnancy test. They don’t require treatment, as long as there is no bleeding.
‘That’s the first time I’d ever heard about chemical pregnancy and how it can happen,’ Meggan explains.
She says coming across the video felt like a ‘sign’. ‘A few days later, the line on the pregnancy tests were basically nothing. Then I started to bleed.’
Chemical pregnancy: what you need to know
You may not realise you’ve had a chemical pregnancy if you do not miss a period or take a pregnancy test. Now home pregnancy tests can detect pregnancy hormones before your period is due, you may be more aware of a chemical pregnancy.
Signs
- A positive pregnancy test, but then a negative one soon after.
- Mild cramping.
- A bleed like a period even after a positive pregnancy test.
- Low, or decreasing levels of pregnancy hormone (hCG) on a blood test.
Treatment
You don’t need treatment for a chemical pregnancy as long as you’ve bled. You can try again for a baby straight away if you want to, but doctors usually recommend waiting until after your next period.
Source: Tommy’s
The young mother says she knew ‘in her heart’ that she was no longer pregnant.
‘My brain was fighting with me being like, no, it isn’t [happening],’ she adds. ‘I felt really numb, I couldn’t even get myself off the sofa.
‘My daughter Winnie is very empathetic and kept checking if I was okay and cuddling me — it was helpful having her because you have to keep going.’
Meggan says it took Niall about a week for the news to sink in, before he got emotional and cried.
‘He didn’t react strongly straight away like I did, I don’t really know exactly what he thought,’ she says. ‘I think he wasn’t sure if I was right or not, saying: “What do you mean it could just go negative?”. He holds his emotions together better than me.’
‘He was being the better parent in that time where I felt like I couldn’t,’ she says.
Meggan had never heard of chemical pregnancy before she experienced it herself (Picture: @meggangrubb)
Confused by what had happened, Meggan sought the help of baby loss charity, Tommy’s. She didn’t go to the doctor because she knew there was likely nothing they could do.
‘I was researching what you’re supposed to do, but when it’s early on there’s not really much a GP will do,’ she says. ‘The internet said within two weeks after it looks like the hCG on the test has gone, you should bleed.
‘I thought “God, how long am I going to have to wait to get that closure and confirmation that this is what’s happening?”, so I weirdly felt glad when I bled because that meant I could move on and try again.’
Reeling from the loss, Meggan says she struggled with the language used to describe what had happened to her family.
‘Chemical pregnancy makes it sound like it wasn’t real or a “proper” miscarriage, even though it is,’ she explains.
‘People can downplay earlier losses because you weren’t in it as long, and the baby wasn’t as developed, but a loss is a loss.’
Meggan also confided in her family around this time. ‘It was difficult but I wanted them to know what had happened so I could feel their comfort,’ she explains.
‘I respond well to sharing and talking, so as difficult as it was I kind of had to say, “just so you know, I was pregnant, now I’m not”.
Meggan is going to continue trying for their second child despite her upsetting experience (Picture: @meggangrubb)
‘It just made it feel less huge and it made my world feel less small, it lightened it a lot for me.’
Meggan took to Instagram to share what had happened with her followers too. Many of her supporters are also parents and some also shared their chemical pregnancy experiences.
‘You feel like something must be wrong with you, but reading about people who went on to have babies was so comforting to me,’ she explains.
‘So many women said to me they never talked about it when it happened to them, because they thought it didn’t count.’
Now, Meggan is still trying to conceive, and is hopeful for the future.
‘I’ve been in this trying to conceive phase now for a long time and it can feel so lonely, so consuming,’ she adds. ‘But the more we talk about it, the more well informed we are and can notice the signs of pregnancy loss.’
For other mothers who have had a chemical pregnancy, Meggan doesn’t want them to ‘blame themselves’.
‘Don’t think there’s something wrong with you or that it’s your fault,’ she insists.
‘I do realise that not everybody is open, and a lot of people are private, and they don’t want to even tell people in their lives about it, but Tommy’s has amazing midwives you can speak to.
‘I just think a problem shared is a problem halved.’
Meggan is backing a campaign calling for support and medical review after a first miscarriage, for more information, visit the Tommy’s website.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
Arrow
MORE: I dumped my boyfriend because of Spotify’s most streamed audiobook of all time
Arrow
MORE: Navy to spend £200k fixing female sailors’ jacket buttons due to awkward placement
Arrow
MORE: My parents inherited £800,000 from my gran and refuse to share it with me
Comments
Add Metro as a Preferred Source on Google
Add as preferred source
The Slice
Your free newsletter guide to the best London has on offer, from drinks deals to restaurant reviews.