From Redditor u/-PurpleSunshine-:

I’m a 24M who was adopted when I was 6 years old. I’ve always felt incredibly lucky because my adoptive parents, who were in their late 20s when they took me in, have been nothing short of amazing. They’ve loved and supported me as if I were their own flesh and blood, and I’ve never felt like anything was missing in my life because of being adopted.

Growing up, I had very minimal details about my adoption. I know that I was removed from my biological family by social services due to neglect and abuse, but I don’t remember anything about my life before I was adopted. It’s not something I’ve dwelled on much because I’ve never felt like I needed those missing pieces to feel complete or valued.

Recently, out of simple curiosity, I decided to sign up for one of those at-home DNA testing kits. I wasn’t looking for a reunion or any deep connection; I just wanted to know more about my genetic history, like why I was removed from my biological family, and if there were any medical issues I should be aware of. Honestly, I didn’t expect to find anyone closely related to me, so it felt like a low-stakes way to get some answers.

About eight weeks after sending off the kit, I finally remembered to check the results, and to my surprise, I matched with my biological mother (“BM”). She had sent me a message saying she was overjoyed that I had done the test and that she desperately wanted to reconnect with me and the rest of my biological family. She mentioned that she’s thought of me every day, that I was always loved, and even that I have a biological little brother who is very excited to meet me – something I didn’t even know.

Her message was really emotional and, to be honest, overwhelming. To me, she’s a complete stranger, and reading those words didn’t stir anything in me other than discomfort. I spent a lot of time crafting a thoughtful response to BM, explaining that while I appreciated her message, I wasn’t interested in forming a relationship with her or any of my biological family. I made it clear that my reason for doing the DNA test was purely informational – I wanted to understand my past, maybe get some medical history, and learn why I was removed, but that was it. I apologized if my actions gave her the wrong impression.

BM read my message and replied, saying that she’d be willing to give me all the information I wanted, but only if I agreed to meet her at a cafe to discuss our relationship further. I refused, telling her that I wasn’t comfortable with a face-to-face meeting. I offered a phone call as a compromise but emphasized that I just wanted the information and then for both of us to move on with our lives.

She outright refused to provide any information unless I agreed to meet with her in person and discuss our relationship.

I talked to my best friend about this, and she sided with BM, saying that I was being unfair. She argued that by signing up for the DNA site, I had essentially opened the door to this kind of situation and that refusing to meet with BM now is like playing mind games and leading them on.

So, AITA for not wanting a relationship with my biological mum after I signed up for the DNA testing site?