Alcohol abuse, heartbreak, and cowardice kept us from enjoying the full 31 fight schedule at tonight’s Redneck Brawl in Johnson City, Tennessee. But, the dozens of fights we did get delivered the wild action and often raunchy entertainment that’s made this promotion the best show in the boxing-adjacent world.
The late-game streaming hiccups of Redneck Brawl 9 were never an issue, the fights came fast and intense, and the overstimulated crowd went home happy… Except for several who left in the custody of local police.
Here’s the rundown of all the best, worst, and wildest:
Lil Larry celebrates a decision win over Lil Smokey Redneck Brawl
Best Argument for Monozygotic Embryonic Determinism:
The main event featured Redneck Brawl fan favorite Lil’ Smokey taking on newcomer Lil’ Terry, while an earlier matchup saw Lil’ Fire (Smokey’s identical twin) against Lil’ Larry (Terry’s identical twin). Smokey and Fire had a 5” height advantage, extensive prior experience on the Redneck Brawl stage, and the lucky plain gray sweatpants they’d worn to victory on so many previous nights.
Larry and Terry, nicknamed “The Boner Brothers” by their opponents, both took decision victories. And, to their credit, both Smokey and Fire were very gracious in defeat, a level of sportsmanship that most might not have expected from guys that dubbed Lil’ Larry “Larry Dingleberry” in their pre-fight hype videos.
Sheen Green (left) didn’t get the crown, but she did get a fat kiss from opponent Peekaboo Redneck Brawl
Most Successful All-Night Party Animal:
Tonight’s Brawl saw several scrapped fights due to overindulgence and late night shenanigans. Chicken-obsessed Walkerdog spent the entire night and previous day drinking to excess, ultimately failing the same-day medical evaluation due to gross intoxication. Taylor from the Trailer didn’t make it to the ring for his scheduled rematch with Playboy, either, and multiple reasons were offered for his absence. Was Taylor suffering from a “broken heart” after some overnight misfortune? Or was he partying with Walkerdog and too drunk to fight? Only he and Walker know for sure, assuming they retain any memory of the particulars.
By contrast, notorious late night Redneck Brawl reveler Sheen Green came through like a champion. She’s been mentioned on past broadcasts as a full time, enthusiastic bar patron on previous Redneck Brawl Eves, and commentary told a story tonight about Sheen getting talked out of fighting someone in the hotel parking lot at 3 a.m. the morning of this event.
Whatever mischief she might have gotten into in the overnight hours, Sheen put the men to shame by showing up in a big way, giving the audience a fantastic action fight with Peekaboo and losing a very debatable decision that commentary voice Andrew Conn called “the biggest robbery in the history of Redneck Brawl.”
Ask yourself – Does Peekaboo look like she wants any more to do with fighting Sheen Green here? Redneck Brawl
Sheen showed no sign of resentment, marking the announcement of her loss by planting a full mouth kiss on Peekaboo, a smooch they held for a surprisingly long time. The guys who party late can’t do what Sheen does, in any capacity.
Big Red enters in a wheelbarrow, shortly before leaving early after taking a thumping Redneck Brawl
Worst Entrance / Best Celebration:
Big Red gave us the landscaper’s take on a Tyson Fury/Prince Naz ring entrance, rolling down the tunnel in a well-worn wheelbarrow. He’d given a great series of promo videos and gave us a good show at the weigh-in and staredown.
But, when it came time to fight, Human Highlight got the better of him, quickly and violently.
Human Highlight chugs a celebratory beverage with Playboy Redneck Brawl
Human Highlight beat him into submission in the 2nd round, then capped the achievement by aggressively enjoying some frothy liquid refreshment in the aftermath.
As for Big Red, it appeared that he exited on foot, not rolled out in the same wheelbarrow.
A combined 13 feet and 7 inches of height ended in a horrifying injury Redneck Brawl
The matchup between 6’10” Indiana Lumberjack and 6’9” Scarecrow featured so much reach, the guys could practically punch each other from their opposing corners.
They didn’t, though. They stuck and moved and circled the ring.
And that’s when it happened…
Scarecrow’s right knee, shown here in near-mint condition after some in-ring treatment Redneck Brawl
Midway through the 2nd round, Scarecrow’s right kneecap came completely untethered, flopping down the side of his leg.
Even more horrific than the injury was the oft-replayed image of a ring doctor jerking and popping it back into place. Once Scarecrow’s body parts were back in something resembling their native position, he was loaded onto a stretcher and wheeled back to the locker room.
But, if you’re at all worried about Scarecrow’s prognosis? Fear not — He was shown walking around the arena floor, seemingly comfortable and none the worse for wear, just three fights after suffering his injury. Good news!
A furious crowd unleashes hell on the ring after Beast of the Middle East’s grotesque disqualification Redneck Brawl
Worst Night for a Couple:
It’s not always clear how much of the out-of-ring Redneck Brawl storytelling is legit, and how much is kayfabe. All I know is that Chanel and Beast of the Middle East came into tonight saying they got married at some point since the last Brawl, after knowing each other for just 72 hours.
Chanel is known as a turtle-obsessed five foot tall mother of eight with an OnlyFans account and a Redneck Brawl crown she received after her opponent no-showed the weigh-in at Brawl #9. As she tells it, Beast from the Middle East reached out to her online after seeing her on the broadcast, falling in love not with her potential fighting prowess, but rather the fact that she has no teeth. They met up in real life, and claim to have married just three days later.
I can neither confirm nor refute their story. All I can say is that it’s so absurd it sounds impossible, but it’s also perfectly believable within the context of their personas and the general Redneck Brawl milieu.
Beast of the Middle East takes one of two cheap shots at a downed opponent Redneck Brawl
What I can tell you for certain, because I saw it with my own eyes, is that Beast of the Middle East was rightfully disqualified for taking two shots at the base of his downed opponent’s neck. Vanilla Gorilla, the victim of the fouls, showed no immediate ill effects, pushing through the referee and cornermen to try and take a swing at Beast, while the furious audience pelted the ring with beer and assorted garbage.
We’ve seen several near-riots in the crowd at previous Brawls, but nothing like tonight, as promoters had to grab the microphone and threaten anyone throwing things at the floor with arrest to calm the scene. Despite the warning, things almost blew up again when Chanel walked Beast out of the arena, and only a very visible police presence kept a lid on the situation.
Eventually, peace was restored, the commentary camera that was knocked down by flying trash got fixed, the ring was dried off, and the show continued.
A bloody Chanel shortly before her fight ended for good Redneck Brawl
And, about 10 fights later, Chanel entered the ring herself to take on Nyquil, a woman who sported a 13 inch height advantage, at least a 20 lbs. weight advantage, and a sweet t-shirt that reads: “I’m Finna Rock Yo Meatbox.”
Nyquil proved capable of delivering on the promises of her novelty t-shirts, battering Chanel all over the ring, knocking her down three times, and leaving her bloodied and exhausted.
Who had it worse? The guy that got disqualified, then exited under a rain of beer, trash, and spit? Or the woman who got pummeled and left soaked in the blood from a likely broken nose? Chanel and Beast will have to debate the question on the drive home, and update us once they’ve settled it.
When you bring the photogenic entertainment? You get the internet spotlight! Redneck Brawl
Best Sophomore Effort from an Aggressively Online Brawler with a Persecution Complex:
I had very high hopes for Holler Colossus when he made his debut at Redneck Brawl 9. A series of highly entertaining, witty hype videos delivered in a voice I described at the time as: “Elvis reincarnated as a revivalist preacher,” had me keen to see what he could do in the ring. Sadly, the in-ring results did not live up to his personality outside of it, as Holler Colossus lost a decision in a less-than-thrilling fight against a man known as “Secret City.”
The day after, he hopped in the comments of the Brawl #9 recap to complain: “All the fights you mentioned were absolutely the worst fights,” and that: “The best fight of the night was secret city and holler colossus,” which got a thorough live thread capsule but no mention in the recap. Presumably, he didn’t realize that writers and editors at Bad Left Hook (and content moderators across SB Nation) can see the email addresses everyone used to register their commenting accounts, or he might have been less shameless about hyping his own uninspiring, unsuccessful outing.
I’ll pull back the curtain a bit, and share the two factors driving which Redneck Brawl fights get recap writeups: First, whether there’s something I feel inspired to write about, for one reason or another. Second, whether or not I can pull a clean screencap to support a capsule on that story. Not much anyone can do in the ring about #2, which is why there’s no dedicated section covering Georgia Outlaw’s shockingly competent counterpunching boxing performance that earned him a 7th straight Redneck Brawl win.
But, a fighter can earn their best chance at inclusion by delivering entertainment, and that’s exactly what Holler Colossus did tonight, blitzing his opponent Smokey Mountain Redneck and forcing an exciting 1st round stoppage. Keep throwing hands and making hearts beat faster with performances like tonight’s, and there’s always room in the writeup. We don’t hold grudges here at Bad Left Hook!
And, in that spirit… Thanks, as always, to all the fighters, promoters, commentators, corner men, referees, and everyone else involved in making Redneck Brawl such a delightful show. Even the ring doctor that’ll likely live in my nightmares tonight thanks to that aggressive kneecap relocation. If you fought tonight and didn’t get a writeup here, you can follow the live thread and 4,600+ words of fight previews from our live coverage.
Whether you won or lost, you gave us a heck of a show, and it is greatly appreciated. Can’t wait for the next one on December 13th!
Here’s the full rundown of tonight’s results, with winners listed in BOLD, and all victories by decision unless otherwise specified:
- Stormi “STORMY” Manon vs Mercedee “SADIE LYNN” Brown
- Ethan “WARDOG” Ward vs Jacob “CHOP” Hyett
- Landon “423 COWBOY” Lane vs Curtis “COWBOY CURTIS” Whitt
- Austin “ONE-TOOTH HILLBILLY” Lewis vs Jacob “HILL BOB” Hill (TKO-1)
- Lacy “WIRECUTTERS” Raney vs Nikki “BACKWOODS BRAWLER” Thompson
- Ean “ITALIAN STALLION” Kieffer (TKO-2) vs Tyler “TARZAN” Chaffins
- Corey “COUNTRY” McInturff vs Michael “RIGHT HOOK” McElraft
- David “TENNESSEE WHISKEY” Luckett vs Sebastian “CITY COWBOY” Barboza
- Brittany “WILD WOOD” Wood vs Martha “SEXY BOO BABE” Bowling
- Jeffrey “WALKERDOG” Walker vs Bradley “TINY” Collins (DQ)
- Timothy “CRAZY SHADY” Seymore vs Josh “HOSSIE” Hill
- Marcus “HOLLER COLOSSUS” Grissom (TKO-1) vs Michael “SMOKEY MOUNTAIN REDNECK” Will
- Kaitlin “TATER” Rogers (DQ) vs Karea “KNOCKOUT CRYBABY” Polston
- Justin “VANILLA GORILLA” Turner (DQ) vs Khalid “BEAST OF THE MIDDLE EAST” AlShaheen
- Ethan “APPALACHIAN ANNIHILATOR” Bradley vs Billy “HILLBILLY” Trent
- AJ “BIG RED” Silvers vs Shawn “HUMAN HIGHLIGHT” Wright (TKO-1)
- Cheyenne “DUI SHY” Arslanian vs Chelsea “BOUNTY MAMMA” Hudgins (TKO-2)
- Joby “METH MOUNTAIN MANIAC” Giles vs Quentin “HOOK HOGAN” Conley
- Tyler “PLAYBOY” Holmes (DQ) vs Taylor “TAYLOR FROM THE TRAILER” Mounts
- Jason “JAY DRONE” Boyle vs Cody “TENNESSEE PATRIOT” Pond
- Brooke “PEEKABOO” Smock vs Cheyenne “SHEEN GREEN” Green
- Harlee “BOCEPHUS” Mann vs Lucas “HOLLER BRAWLER” Cheek
- Nicholas “SCARECROW” Hammons vs Jacob “INDIANA LUMBERJACK” Barkley (TKO-2)
- Julius “MACHO MAN” Purdue vs Chandler “GIRTHQUAKE” Romains
- Manda “NYQUIL” Collins KO-1 vs Katelyn “CHANEL” Pack
- Anthony “TENNESSEE CORNBREAD” Jones (KO-3) vs Christopher “SASQUATCH” Akers
- Joshua “BABY DADDY” Testerment (TKO-1) vs Justin “THE HUSBAND” Lowe
- Wayne “LIL LARRY” Doner vs Jacob “LIL FIRE” Campbell
- Leann “LUCKY” Self vs Jessica “BARBIE JESS” Allen
- Travis “T-BONE THE MOUNTAIN MAN” Turman vs James “GEORGIA OUTLAW” Scoggins (TKO-3)
- Terry “LIL TERRY” Doner vs Jimmy “LIL SMOKEY” Campbell