I have just taken part in my golf club’s senior championship. We all played from the white tees, which is something we rarely do.
Like most golf courses, Dunston Hall is a very different animal from the back tees. As a senior, I seldom play from the competition tees. How did I get on? DISASTER darling!
It got me thinking about the countless ways we find to ruin our scorecards.
(Image Credit: Kevin Diss Photography)
White Tees
If you don’t normally play from the back tees and know that you are going to have to do so, it makes perfect sense to play a practice round in advance. Did I do so? What do you think?!
Mindset
Having failed to get in a practice round from the back tees, I stood on the first utterly convinced that I was going to have a dreadful round. And I did not disappoint myself. It is true that the space between your ears is the most important club in your bag – and the worst thing you can possibly do is tackle any golf course with the wrong mindset. Even when I am playing well, there is always something in the back of my head, worrying about the disaster that hasn’t happened yet. Do you believe that Scottie Scheffler and Rory McIlroy think that way? Of course they don’t. Do you think they notice the out of bounds on the right? No. But I do.
Driver
I am great at handing out advice. In fact, I have written here on more than one occasion about the importance of not always reaching for the driver. Even from the back tees, there are probably nine or 10 holes where I could easily have left my driver in the bag. By hitting a three wood I might have lost a little distance but the chances are that I would have been able to find the fairway. So why do I still ruin so many rounds by convincing myself that I need that extra 20 or 30 yards.
Hazards
My course features four holes where water can come into play from either the tee or for my second shot. A strategic approach would ensure that I almost never find any of those lakes. But do I apply common sense when faced with a downhill lie and have a pond to clear at the third? Do I lay up with my second when faced with a big carry over the lake at the sixth? Knowing that even a fade from the tee at the 15th will find a watery grave, do I reach for a utility club? NO, no and no!
Recovery Shots
There are recovery shots, and then there are recovery shots. Seve Ballesteros used to be able to play recovery shots. He did so because he possessed incredible imagination and unbelievable natural talent. I am not Seve Ballesteros. So why do I believe that I can pull off miracle shots that, nine times out 10, will end in disaster? Why do I insist on trying to play that ball next a tree trunk? Why do I try to hit a fairway wood when my ball is in rough that is four inches long? And why, oh why, do I attempt those flop shots that almost end up with the ball shooting off at right angles rather than floating into the air and landing like a butterfly? Why don’t I just ignore that bunker in front of the flag and play to the fat of the green? And why is that I so often reach for the wrong club when in a fairway bunker? What makes me think I can clear that lip with a three wood?
Putting
Putting is my strength but I still manage to make a right Horlicks of it when it really matters. I see the line of a putt and convince myself I am going to drain it – and promptly run it six feet past. And then, having done that I face a downhill putt at the next and leave the ball four feet short!
Card Wreckers
In truth, every hole on every golf course is a potential card wrecker, but some more than others. We certainly have more than our fair share of them.
And right up there from the back tees is the par-three ninth hole. From the yellows it is a well-struck six iron played with trees on either side to a green that slopes sharply from front to back. That is hard enough, but from the whites it is a truly horrible hole measuring around 200 yards. For me, it is a well-struck three wood, but there is disaster lurking everywhere.
All logic dictates that I should reach for a short iron, then pitch it onto the putting surface in the hope of getting up and down and walking off with a three – or four at worst. But that doesn’t happen. The ball disappears into the trees on the left, beyond the out of bound markers. Three of the tee! And sometimes five off the tee…
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