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Creative all rounder Kelsea Knox is used to multi-tasking. She is an actor, graphic designer, writing and lighting designer. And she also works behind the bar at 53two and mentors young people.
But when her partner was in a bad place she wanted to help, as people had begun to watch her, as she could not be alone. And following a bad therapy experience which made things even worse, Kelsea stepped up and researched local groups for women.
Kelsea Knox
When Kelsea approached Creative Director of 53two Simon Naylor, he said: “Andy’s Man Club saved me, surely there is that equivalent for women.” Many google searches later and Kelsea realised there were specific groups for things such as grief and domestic violence but no women’s groups, where you could turn up and share, or just listen.
Kelsea then took part in a half marathon to raise money to have some mental first aid training. Then step forward actress and mentor Morag Peacock who answered her friend Kelsea’s call out on social media to help her set up a space. Then ‘She Shares’ was born.
She Shares Manchester
They have regular meet ups at 53two studios and all women are welcome. You don’t have to work in the arts, it is open to all.
So what is She Shares in the words of the two kind, caring souls who run it?
Morag said: “She Shares is an opportunity and a space for women, females to come to either offload some bad, celebrate the good and to be intentionally listened to.” Morag adds: “It is a sharing space, not a fixing space or a counselling space.”
Having a space where someone is genuinely interested in what you have going on in your life is vital, as we are used to seeing people living their best lives on social media. And when you think about it, how many of us answer our mobiles when they ring? We have adopted texting as our way of speaking.
So to be able to voice something in a space where you know you are being listened to, as opposed to speaking whilst someone else scrolls on their phone is rarer than you think.
Morag sums up the appeal of She Shares and said: “It is about sharing a load and putting a perspective on something that is happening for you.”
Safe spaces in Manchester
Kelsea mirrors this and said: “It is a safe space and it is about going back to basics. Sometimes asking for help can be overwhelming and the process to get support is over complicated. We have stripped it right back. Safe space, safe room. You can talk, but you can also write stuff down.”
In this ever complicated world that we find ourselves in, it is refreshing to see this simple but effective concept support so many women. In the not too dim and distant past, you would have your neighbours in for a coffee and a biscuit. Some people still do that. But She Shares is capturing that feel of a chat, a cuppa and a biccy, and then it does not feel too daunting for the person who wants to offload or celebrate something great, or a small win that they have experienced.
She Shares has not been set up without any research or backing. The two met with people who work in mental health, held focus groups and matched their ideas with what people wanted and needed and tweaked it accordingly.
Morag said: “We got in touch with a volunteer charity group that works just with women, they are based in Scotland. They answered our questions and gave us advice.”
40% of men have never spoken to anyone about their mental health
Men are often described as the ones who are not talking to each other. And it’s not a myth, 40% of men have never spoken to anyone about their mental health. 29% say they are “too embarrassed.” So understandably there has been a big emphasis on encouraging men to share, and some incredible charities have been set up, such as Andy’s Man Club. And many men are speaking about their mental health for the first time.
But because this is newsworthy and changes are happening, women may feel they are left ‘carrying’ the woes of worries of others and that the image of them being a matriarch of someone stoic, is what they are meant to do. But as a result of this, they too may end up being silent.
Morag echoes this and said her advice to women who may be reticent about coming forward is: “Don’t put a degree on what you are struggling with.” She adds: “Some women might think, ‘it’s not that bad so that does not count’, but it all counts.”
Some people may have an image of She Shares, of only being worth a visit if you are in a bad place. Morag said: ”It’s about celebrating too but also being allowed to be annoyed about the small things which if you are not careful, may add up to something bigger.”
“Come and give and give it a go, come and listen, come and share if you want to”
She adds, “If you are the strong one in the family, it is still important to share, so that things do not get top of you.” She adds: “Come and give and give it a go, come and listen, come and share if you want to.”
Morag has been mentoring young people for many years and she said: “We get to know their families and giving someone 15 minutes to offload about what’s going on is so important. And they are sometimes the strong ones, but it does not mean they do not need to be listened to.”
Kelsea likens women to a bridge. She said: “We look at really strong bridge which carries people and traffic. And people comment on it. But if there is a wee bit of weakness there and it does not get treated or helped, it will collapse.”
She adds: “Like a bridge, we have many layers and those small breaks, or cracks need to be attended to.”
The value of listening and feeling heard
Morag talks about the value of listening and people feeling heard and said: “It is about walking their walk with them and hearing whatever someone chooses to share.”
She adds: “This is anonymous, we do not share names. We have little check ins and likewise if there is big stuff going on for someone, we can extend our time and have a bigger check in.”
She Shares is a not a counselling space or a quick fix, it can lead to more support. They have access to organisations, phone numbers of other charities where you can refer yourself to.
So what about the future for She Shares? What do Kelsea and Morag see for the space in the future?
Kelsea said: “We want to keep the meet ups as regular as possible, and it would be nice to get more faciltators trained to run it, then we can have more regular groups.”
Morag said: “She Shares is fulfilling a need as there is nowhere like this in Manchester, so we wanted to fill this need, that was our aim and we are doing that which is amazing.”
Both Kelsea and Morag want to get the word out and the fact that this space is here if people want it. Kelsea said: “Andy’s Man Club started with one group of 9 men and now it has been replicated. We started with women in one room.”
For anyone reading this thinking that She Shares is just for actors, the two have a message to put out there. Kelsea said: “That sometimes is the misconception but it helps that we are in 53two’s studio which is a separate space.”
Morag said: “We start with a set of questions and these are aimed at anybody, this just kicks things off with pen and paper. And we are not going to get people to pretend they are a tree because when has that ever worked?” She laughs.
She adds: “This is a community hub, they do more than put on theatre here. Also ‘actor’ is one label that I have. I have multiple others, I am not separated by the others. What I would say is, am I female? Yes. Can I go? Yes.”
Morag sums up who She Shares is for and said: “Actor or not, mum or not, just being a woman is the qualifying factor.”
The warmth and compassion of these two wonderful women and the fact that they are both really humble on what they have achieved so far, highlights how they have set up share Shares to fill a gap which existed. She Shares is not a vanity project for them, it is for you and they care deeply about anyone who walks through their doors.
When does She Shares take place?
She Shares is 53two studio space and there are two meet ups this month on 8th and 29th September from 7pm.
For further information on She Shares, including directions to 53two Studios, please click here.
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