Let’s make this quite clear. Diana never wanted a divorce. Despite everything that happened, I have no doubt that Diana fell in love with Prince Charles. Unfortunately for Diana, the feeling was not mutual.

Diana once told me that Charles had told her in the middle of one of their epic arguments: ‘I never loved you. I only married you to have children.’

Many of the staff had no idea how bad relations were between the Prince and Princess of Wales.

I certainly didn’t. I didn’t realise that I had entered a war zone when I left the Queen’s service in 1987 to work for Charles and Diana. Just six years into Diana’s marriage to the heir to the throne, the battle of the Waleses was raging in plain sight.

Diana was a city girl. She disliked country pursuits: horses, shooting, mud and particularly hunting, which she thought was barbaric. But she tried so hard to please her husband.

I remember her returning from her first stalking party at Balmoral. She hated every moment of it: watching the deer’s belly being slit with the entrails coming out and the ritual blood smeared on her face. She did it for Charles.

‘He never wanted a lover. He wanted a mother,’ Diana told me once. She always loved Charles, but she despised Camilla Parker Bowles, the ‘other woman’.

Diana once told me that Charles had told her in the middle of one of their epic arguments: ‘I never loved you. I only married you to have children.’... writes Paul Burrell

Diana once told me that Charles had told her in the middle of one of their epic arguments: ‘I never loved you. I only married you to have children.’… writes Paul Burrell

‘Did you see me on my wedding day walking down the aisle of St Paul’s Cathedral?’ she once said to me.

‘Of course I did,’ I replied.

‘You saw me looking from side to side. You know what I was doing, don’t you? I was looking for Camilla. And there she was, on my wedding day. As I reached the altar, I knew that she would always be there.’

While Charles was still a bachelor he had wanted a country house of his own. He looked for a suitable place within striking distance of Bolehyde Manor in Wiltshire where the Parker Bowles family lived. He found Highgrove House in Tetbury, Gloucestershire, around 15 miles away.

Charles and Diana hadn’t even been married a year when William arrived on June 21, 1982. Charles mistakenly took his wife’s mood swings for post-natal depression, but she was unhappy, even in these early days.

Her baby became the full focus of attention. This was the moment when Diana realised that she would have to fight for her survival. It wasn’t until Harry was born on September 15, 1984, just over two years later, that her fate was confirmed.

Charles came into the hospital room, looked in the cot and said: ‘Oh, red hair.’

Diana replied: ‘But Charles, you know that’s the Spencer gene, we all have red hair.’

Then came the damning blow. He said: ‘Well at least I’ve got my heir and spare now and I can return to Camilla.’

She told me: ‘I cried myself to sleep that night knowing that my marriage was over.

‘I gave him four good years and he was gone. And for the rest of the time I had to pretend and put on a facade for the world.’

‘He never wanted a lover. He wanted a mother,’ Diana told me once. She always loved Charles, but she despised Camilla Parker Bowles (pictured in 1975), the ‘other woman’

‘He never wanted a lover. He wanted a mother,’ Diana told me once. She always loved Charles, but she despised Camilla Parker Bowles (pictured in 1975), the ‘other woman’

Years later, in the autumn of 2017, I would come face to face with Harry and William in their mother’s old apartments at Kensington Palace and I would tell them what their mother had said to me.

They asked me when and where I thought it had gone wrong with their parents. And I said I thought it was at that moment.

Harry stared straight at me, poker-faced. He couldn’t believe what I was telling him. I was in tears, but he never flinched.

I remember this moment distinctly because it looked like he was bearing his mother’s pain. I think it was the first time that he had heard that story.

I said: ‘Harry, it’s the truth. I wouldn’t tell you that unless it was exactly what your mother told me. And I think you know that. You’re old enough to know that now.’

This happened just before Harry became engaged to Meghan. I think that powered him, and put fuel in his tanks to go forward with everything that he felt.

It may have contributed to what happened afterwards, and is probably the reason he called his book Spare.

In the mornings at Highgrove Prince Charles would be served a freshly boiled egg cooked for exactly four minutes.

He was obsessed with his eggs being perfect so I would be on guard to say: ‘He’s coming. Put one in.’ Sometimes we would misjudge the timing, so there could be several eggs in the bin by the time he appeared. Talk about waste – it was madness.

To vent his frustrations and displeasure, the Prince of Wales’ spidery scrawl in the form of a memorandum, often in red ink, would land on my desk in the butler’s pantry.

On one occasion, I was summoned to the library for a meeting with him. I walked across the rush-matting floor, which the housekeeper had to water once a week to stop it becoming too brittle. The Prince was sitting at his desk.

‘Close the door behind you,’ he said in a stern voice.

Not ‘good morning’, as his welcome often was.

‘Did you speak with the Princess last night?’ he continued.

‘Yes, I did, Your Royal Highness. She rang late at 10pm and wanted to speak with you, but I couldn’t find you as you must have been out.’

‘Why did you say that I was out, Paul?’

His temper was beginning to flare.

‘Because you were out, Your Royal Highness,’ I answered.

‘Why couldn’t you just say that you couldn’t find me?’

He was beginning to turn puce. I was snookered.

‘Are you asking me to lie for you?’ I said, knowing that almost everyone else around him did.

The Prince replied: ‘Yes, I am. Yes, I bloody am.’

He banged the desk with his fists. He was behaving like a petulant child, shouting: ‘I will be king of this country one day and you WILL do as I say!’

He picked up a book from his desk and threw it towards me. ‘Get out! Get out!’ he screamed.

I was caught in the crossfire, caught in the line of duty. I never had problems like this with the Queen. But then she wasn’t needy or insecure like her son.

I witnessed many arguments and fights between Charles and Diana behind closed doors. At times, they were more than a shouting match.

Diana had been searching for love and she had found it in a dashing, handsome cavalry officer [James Hewitt, pictured]. He became her every waking thought, writes Paul Burrell

Diana had been searching for love and she had found it in a dashing, handsome cavalry officer [James Hewitt, pictured]. He became her every waking thought, writes Paul Burrell

Plates were smashed, tempers raised and even tables overturned. Having set a candle-lit dinner for two on a card table, I arrived in the sitting room to find Charles crumpled on the floor in his silk dressing gown, covered in salad dressing and surrounded by broken china and glass.

His explanation?

‘I must have caught my dressing gown sleeve on the corner of the table.’ The Princess was nowhere to be seen. Diana could be just as fiery at times and I suspect, on this occasion, the damage had been caused by her.

As the war of the Waleses raged on, Diana was getting messages of support from the Queen and Prince Philip. People don’t realise they backed Diana against their own son.

They said they knew who Charles was. They knew that he was spoiled and had a temper.

Prince Philip wrote to the Princess and said that neither he nor the Queen could understand why Charles would prefer Camilla over her, and that they did not agree with either Charles or Diana having extra-marital affairs. 

One weekend in 1988 at Kensington Palace Diana said to me: ‘Paul, could you give me a hand with something heavy?’ She led me into the master bedroom. ‘Help me push this’ – pointing to a large chest of drawers – ‘over there in front of this doorway.’

It was the door to the Prince’s dressing room and bathroom. I said to her: ‘Does His Royal Highness know about this?’

Giggling Diana saw me naked! 

Prince William once said to me: ‘Mummy drew you too close to her, Paul.

‘It wasn’t fair to do that. We won’t do that with our household.’

It may have made some people jealous, and it certainly confused them. But I was always there, and I experienced the highs and lows of whatever came my way.

I regularly travelled overseas with Diana. Sometimes she was without a dresser or a lady-in-waiting, and some people considered it most unusual for Diana to have a male companion travelling with her and in an adjoining room.

I remember stepping out of the shower once, totally naked, to find Diana in my room. She looked me up and down, giggled and asked me for a bottle of water.

I always travelled with water and a bunch of bananas – which she loved. There seemed to be no barrier between our worlds in those private moments.

‘Not yet. But he’ll soon find out,’ she replied.

I thought, this is just madness. I had not realised that it had come to this.

That night the Prince was furious and there was much plate smashing. From then on, he slept in his dressing room in a single bed when he was in London.

Of course, he hated it. After all, he was the Prince of Wales.

But he never came back to the marital bed.

In the summer of 1988, Charles was away for the weekend with the boys and Diana was alone at Highgrove. ‘I have a very special task for you, Paul, which is strictly between you and me,’ she said.

She confided in me that she had taken a lover as her marriage had broken down. ‘Would you go to Kemble railway station this afternoon and pick up a very special cargo for me?’ 

That special cargo was James Hewitt. Diana had been searching for love and she had found it in a dashing, handsome cavalry officer. He became her every waking thought.

Hundreds of parcels and letters were dispatched to him while he was deployed in Iraq. Ultimately, he was cast as a villain when all that he wanted to do was love Diana. 

The staff were told about the separation of the Prince and Princess of Wales the day before it was announced. Charles released me from my responsibilities to him and I returned to London with the Princess.

I’m often asked if I loved Diana. Of course I did, but in a platonic way. The more she needed me, the more I needed to be there. We became dependent on each other at times. 

Perhaps it wasn’t healthy to be so close to arguably the most beautiful woman in the world. She was often in conflict with herself and these were days long before we recognised mental health problems.

Diana was certainly suffering. She had been abandoned, neglected and vilified. Stripped of her titles, publicly humiliated, worn down mentally, turning to bulimia for comfort.

A letter arrived from the Queen one day. I took it to Diana immediately.

‘Oh God,’ she said. ‘What now?’ I stood beside her as she opened the letter with a paper knife and read it. Her eyes filled with tears. She handed it to me. ‘Read it,’ she said. 

It said that the Queen had discussed a divorce with the Prime Minister, the Archbishop of Canterbury and Charles and that they had all come to the conclusion that it was in the best interests of all parties and the country that there be a divorce.

The Princess looked up at me and said: ‘Nobody asked or consulted me. I don’t want a divorce, Paul, but I have to do what everybody else wants.’

Her Queen had spoken. She realised she needed to end the war of the Waleses and this was the final blow.

Having been silenced for so many years, Diana, Princess of Wales found her voice when Andrew Morton’s book, Diana: Her True Story, was published in June 1992.

In later years, she bitterly regretted speaking out in such a raw manner, but at that time she was vulnerable and she wanted the public to know the truth about her marriage.

Charles hit back. On 29 June 1994, a TV documentary made by his friend Jonathan Dimbleby was aired. It was presented as a way to celebrate the 25th anniversary of his investiture as Prince of Wales, but some of it felt like a personal attack on Diana.

The journalist would claim that the Prince didn’t want anything to go in that would hurt Diana, but Prince Charles did confess to adultery with Camilla Parker Bowles. The Princess was only given a few hours’ warning that this bombshell was coming.

A year later, on November 20, 1995, Diana’s own explosive Panorama TV interview with Martin Bashir set her on a catastrophic course that ended in her death.

This was her retaliation for the mortification she felt over Charles admitting to cheating on her.

Diana’s explosive Panorama TV interview with Martin Bashir in 1995 set her on a catastrophic course that ended in her death

Diana’s explosive Panorama TV interview with Martin Bashir in 1995 set her on a catastrophic course that ended in her death

She felt ashamed that her husband had been unfaithful and she believed that she had been downgraded in the eyes of the British people.

Although Martin Bashir was British, his heritage was Pakistani. Diana found that he had much in common with Hasnat Khan – the surgeon who had become her secret lover – and discussed Bashir with him, but Hasnat told me that he had reservations about Bashir.

Diana had no idea of the impact the interview would make.

When the programme was shown on BBC One, nearly 23million people in the UK tuned in to hear her speak frankly about her marriage and her life, including the famous line ‘There were three of us in this marriage’ – referring to her, Charles and Camilla.

Diana watched it alone in her bedroom. At first she was jubilant, but then took herself to bed for several days after realising the implications. She was mortified by the fact that Bashir had persuaded her to talk about James Hewitt.

Months later she admitted to me that she should never have gone along with this. She said to me: ‘What would my boys think? What would they think when they find out that I loved another man who wasn’t their father?’ 

In his 2022 Netflix series, Harry & Meghan, Prince Harry said: ‘She was deceived into giving the interview but at the same time, she spoke the truth of her experience.

In his 2022 Netflix series, Harry & Meghan, Prince Harry said of his mother: ‘She was deceived into giving the [Panorama] interview but at the same time, she spoke the truth of her experience’

We all watched her unravel afterwards and it was uncomfortable viewing. The doors of Buckingham Palace slammed shut. They didn’t understand it. They couldn’t comprehend why she had done it.

I am a divorced man who is a father of two boys and I have great respect for my ex-wife, particularly as she is their mother. I wish Charles had treated Diana that way, and I believe if he had, none of the events towards the end of her life may have happened and she would have been alive today.

William has said that they will never allow the interview to be shown again. You might expect me to agree with this, since I know she regretted it. But I don’t.

In his 2022 Netflix series, Harry & Meghan, Prince Harry said: ‘She was deceived into giving the interview but at the same time, she spoke the truth of her experience.’

It is not often that I agree with the sentiments of the Duke of Sussex, but I do here. These were Diana’s words. Why should she be silenced? I worry that her words will not be heard by a new generation who were not around at the time of the interview.

They will only know Camilla as queen and Charles as king and may not be aware of the history that went before.

I understand William’s point of view that she was vulnerable, alone and misrepresented. But while I relate to his wanting to protect Diana and her legacy, I do worry that William is silencing his mother just as the Royal Family did then.

Hasnat Khan was the man in Diana’s life. This was the man she wanted to marry.

Diana first met Hasnat when she was visiting the children’s ward at the Brompton Hospital in London in the summer of 1995. The doors of the lift opened and Hasnat was standing there in his white coat surrounded by students. The Princess just stared at him and he stared straight back and smiled.

When she got back to Kensington Palace she told me: ‘Oh my goodness. Something profound has just happened to me. I have met Mr Wonderful [her nickname for him].

‘He didn’t speak a word but he stared straight through me. He put his foot in the lift door to stop it from closing then he smiled at me. And I knew then that he was “The One”.’

For two years they had a secret affair. I was the go-between to sneak him into Kensington Palace. I would hide him underneath a blanket on the back seat of the car just as I did with Martin Bashir. But this was different. It wasn’t about an interview, it was love.

I would organise candle-lit dinner parties for Diana and Hasnat as they could rarely go out for dates. Most of the time there were clandestine meetings confined to the rooms at Kensington Palace or Hasnat’s flat.

On occasions Diana would spend whole days in his place playing ‘housewife’, vacuuming and dusting and washing and ironing his clothes. She loved that.

But then it started to go wrong. One day the Princess said to me: ‘I want to marry Hasnat. How can I do this?’

She sent me out to talk with Father Tony Parsons, my family priest at the Carmelite Church in Kensington Church Street.

She said: ‘Get him to come in and perform some kind of ceremony and marry us. Then when we tell everyone we’re married, they’ll have to accept it.’

But when I asked Father Tony about this, he said: ‘It’s absolutely impossible. I can’t do that. The Church won’t allow me to do that. She’s the mother of the future king.’

Tragically, the next time Father Tony would come to Kensington Palace would be to bless the room in which Diana would lie overnight before her funeral. He said wistfully: ‘If only things could have been different.’

I took that to mean that if she had been able to marry Hasnat, she wouldn’t have gone on that fateful trip to the Mediterranean. She wouldn’t have gone to Paris.

Hasnat Khan was the man in Diana’s life. This was the man she wanted to marry, writes Paul Burrell

Hasnat Khan was the man in Diana’s life. This was the man she wanted to marry, writes Paul Burrell

Hasnat and Diana hadn’t been getting on when she took Princes William and Harry on holiday to the south of France with Mohamed al Fayed and his family in the summer of 1997.

But when she arrived back in London with the boys, she arranged to meet Hasnat on Wandsworth Common. They had a massive falling out.

Diana said: ‘That’s it, if you are not going to marry me then I’m off. I’ve wasted two years of my life. You are the one for me but if you can’t marry me…’

Hasnat said: ‘I can’t marry you because I’ll become Mr Diana. What will happen to my valuable work? What will happen to my surgery? What will happen to me as a person?’

They could not find a compromise, so on the rebound, she accepted the invitation to go to France and join Dodi Fayed as his guest on board the yacht Jonikal.

Diana would ring me most days and say: ‘How’s Hasnat? Have you seen him?’

Over the years, I had got into the habit of going out for a pint with Hasnat in Kensington. I used to give him Diana’s news and he gave me his for her in return. I continued to see him throughout the Mediterranean romance.

‘What does he think?’ she would say. ‘Has he seen the newspapers?’

I would reply: ‘Yes. He has seen the newspapers and he’s furious with you.’

What she was doing was parading herself beside another Muslim man in front of the world’s media to get a reaction. And it worked, as it did really rile Hasnat. He was hurt.

She was playing games and taunting her true love.

Hasnat is such a lovely man. He is extremely kind, considerate and generous. He was a complete surprise as a partner for Diana because he wasn’t conventionally good looking although she considered him to be the best-looking man she had ever met.

He used to say: ‘She could have anyone in the world!’

But she didn’t want them, she wanted him. In their time together she never looked at another man until the very end when she wanted him to be jealous.

Her death left him broken. I really think that if she had lived, they would have got back together and he would have made her happy.

How I picked out her famous ‘revenge dress 

Diana was invited to a dinner given by Vanity Fair at the Serpentine Gallery in London in 1994 on the same evening that the explosive interview given by Prince Charles to Jonathan Dimbleby was to be broadcast.

That afternoon Diana discovered that Charles had admitted to committing adultery with Camilla Parker Bowles in the interview. Her initial reaction had been to cancel the engagement and stay at home.

‘How am I going to face everyone?’ she sobbed.

‘You have to go,’ I said. ‘There are so many people waiting for you.’

That evening she called me to look at the outfit she’d chosen. She was standing there with her hands on her hips, dressed and ready to go.

She was wearing a midnight blue cocktail dress with a white satin collar and cuffs.

‘Well, what do you think?’ She gave me a twirl.

Now, don’t get me wrong, she looked spectacular – but my expression must have let me down.

‘You don’t like it?’

‘I love it,’ I replied, ‘but it’s not the right dress for tonight. Tonight you have to pull out all the stops.’ I always gave her an honest opinion.

‘I don’t have anything else to wear,’ she said. ‘Find me something!’

The challenge was accepted and she followed me into her dressing room. I instinctively went to the black evening section in her walk-in wardrobe.

I came across something that didn’t look spectacular on the hanger but I knew would be transformed by the Princess.

‘This one! Amuse me and try it on.’ I handed her a daring little black dress by the Greek designer Christina Stambolian. ‘Do you think so?’

‘Yes,’ I replied. ‘Go on. Let’s see.’

When she re-entered the room two minutes later, she looked incredible.

‘Zip me up. Don’t you think it’s too much?’ She pointed at her cleavage.

‘That’s the one for tonight… with sheer tights and heels.’ I was confident in my choice.

‘Just one more thing,’ I told her, ‘when you get there, stride towards Lord Palumbo [the event’s host], shake his hand, hold your head high and say to yourself, “I am Diana, Princess of Wales and I am here to stay.” Remember, you are the mother of a future king.’

I watched her arrival in Hyde Park on the news that night and as she strode towards Lord Palumbo, I could almost hear her thinking, Stride… head high… I am Diana. It was a triumph.

I scribbled a note and put it on her pillow: ‘Well done. I am so proud of you.’ Then I left the bedroom door ajar with the landing light on as I always did.

  • Adapted from The Royal Insider by Paul Burrell (Sphere, £25), to be published September 11. © Paul Burrell 2025. To order a copy for £21.25 (offer valid to 20/09/25; UK P&P free on orders over £25) go to www.mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937.