Before I started high school, before I left for college and before I arrived in London for my study abroad program, I was worried about the same thing.
How was I going to make friends?
Leaving for London, my anxiety was amplified because I truly knew no one who was going to be in the city, or country for that matter, with me. In high school, I knew I had at least one friend, Petra, and going to college, I knew I could lean on my “aunt” Emily Clevenger and my “uncle” Gary Abdullah.
Going abroad was different. For the first time in my life, I was completely alone.
I planned to romanticize the feeling by listening to “A World Alone” by Lorde and gazing out of my Uber driver’s backseat window when I left the airport. I was actually petrified by the possibility of a semester entirely by myself, with no recognizable company or friends to talk to.
When I arrived at my flat, I realized that sharing a kitchen and a bathroom with four other people was probably a good starting place for making friends.
Alli and her flatmates having spaghetti for dinner.
Courtesy of Alli Satterfield
Within a few hours, I scared my flatmate Ben by walking into the kitchen while he had his head stuck in our refrigerator. After I apologized for making him jump and whack his arm against the door, he helped me figure out where to grocery shop and replace the eyeshadow palette that was devastatingly broken in my luggage.
Not all icebreakers have to be startling – I didn’t have to scare the daylight from the eyes of my new roommate. Simply starting a conversation with someone is enough to spark the beginning of a friendship.
So, when I was leaving for my orientation the next day, I started talking to another girl walking in the same direction. I learned that her name is Margaret and, not only is she also American, but she lives in the room right next to mine. Within a few days, we went from chatting about how difficult the keys to our flat are to use to spilling our entire backstories in a British shopping mall.
Now, in just a few weeks, I’ve become friends with all of my flatmates. We’ve had “family” dinners, workout dates and fun nights out in London. I’ve also made classmate friends and gone to get coffee with other international students.
My first few weeks of life abroad have been exposure therapy to social interactions, and it’s reminded me that it doesn’t really take a lot to make new friends. The quick lesson I’ve learned is to just talk to them.
Everyone is human, although it may be cliché, most of us crave some form of human interaction. I’ve come to the conclusion that the vast majority of people will not flagrantly ignore you if you strike up a conversation. In fact, they’ll probably keep it going.
Most of my classmates are even intrigued by my American accent and have plenty of things they want to talk about.
“Are you American?” has hit my ears almost as many times as I’ve opened my mouth to answer a lecturer’s question.
My voice and the scarcity of its sound may be the reason that conversations start, but it’s not that hard to keep them going. So, really, it’s not incredibly hard to make friends, or at least acquaintances, during your time abroad.
It’s easier said than done, just don’t be scared.
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