I feel like I should be happier than I am, but I don’t really know what’s missing. I’ve ticked the boxes: I make good money, have a nice home and family, and I’ve got a good stable career, savings and investments. I’m not really asking for financial advice. I’m doing well financially, and that’s not something I take for granted. But I guess I wasn’t expecting to feel this way after working hard to achieve everything that I have. You talk a lot about money mindset, so I thought you might have some insights that could help.
Congratulations, you’ve hit a new financial level. This is the: “Is this it? Now what?” level. I’m being playful, but I want you to know: you’re not alone. This is a phase I see many people go through on the other side of accomplishing a certain level of financial success.
Reaching the peak of your money goals can be strangely unfulfilling.Credit: Simon Letch
That level isn’t defined by a certain dollar figure – I’ve seen this play out at different levels for different people: for some it hits after the successful exit of their start-up, for others it might hit after achieving a specific financial milestone they’d been working towards – eg $X in savings or investments or paying off the mortgage or retirement.
The common denominator isn’t a number, but the accomplishment of something you had placed a lot of value on, and getting to the other side only to realise – it wasn’t a magical portal into a different life, like you thought it’d be. There is now a gap between how your life looks, and how you thought it would feel. How do you start to close that gap?
Life is to be lived, not achieved
It sounds like you’re not very connected to what makes you feel fulfilled. If you are ticking boxes all your way through life, chances are you’re living your life like a to-do list. This is a good strategy for accomplishment and achievement, but a poor strategy for fulfillment.
Fulfillment is a feeling that comes from within you, not from the outside. It’s personal – unique to the individual. You don’t discover it by ticking a bunch of boxes that someone else has handed you. You need to have some gauge as to what makes you feel fulfilled.
This means shifting from pursuing the things you think you’re supposed to do, or should do, to things you want to do. If it’s not something you’re already practised at, this might take some time. It might cause some discomfort.
If you’ve been optimising for achievement and not fulfillment, switching gears can be confronting. You might find that some of your current goals may no longer be aligned with your new goal of fulfillment.