I am fundamentally happier on so many levels and spend so much less on things like coffee, exercise and our home near the beach
Around half a million people left the UK to live elsewhere last year, and it’s not just retirees. A survey of more than 3,000 young people by the British Council showed that 72 per cent of 18- to 30-year-olds would consider living and working abroad, with destinations in Europe, the United Arab Emirates, Australia, and South East Asia proving popular.
Many expats are seeking a better quality of life, and cite varying factors – cold weather, high cost of living, extortionate childcare, stagnant wages, dwindling opportunity, lack of work-life balance, and even poor romantic prospects – among their motivations for leaving the UK. The i Paper’s Expat Files follows Brits who have taken the leap and settled elsewhere, detailing the ups and downs of their journey.
Hattie MacAndrews, 34, left London for South Africa in 2023. Here, she tells why she could never imagine going back.
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Modern dating is an absolute minefield – especially somewhere like London, where it’s mostly on apps and it’s easy to make a lot of quick judgements. People are stressed, busy and often treat each other like they’re disposable or like there’s always something better out there.
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At the end of 2022, I was single, 32, and living alone in London, paying £1,800 a month for a small one and a half bedroom flat. I had just been through a break-up and was fed up with dating apps. I had a good life, was earning good money as a confidence coach, and my friends and family were nearby – but I’d always felt something was missing. I was lacking a sense of freedom and adventure. After the pandemic, with the freedom to work remotely, I thought “if ever there’s a time to leave, it’s now”.
I knew I wanted to be somewhere sunny, where people lived an active lifestyle, were social, where there was a sense of community. Ideally I wanted to be by the beach or in the mountains, without being too remote. And I wanted to meet someone and have a family. It felt like an impossible ask and I didn’t think the perfect place existed.
Growing up, my family had spent many holidays in South Africa, and I remembered a small town we visited called Plettenberg Bay, where my parents had friends. It’s a beautiful seaside town with endless white sandy beaches, mountains lining the coastline and endless nature and wildlife. It was one of the few towns in South Africa that felt really safe, yet had this amazing vibrant community lifestyle.
Hattie and Kieran met weeks into her return to South Africa (Photo: Hattie MacAndrews)
In January 2022 I got my tourist visa and flew there. I was planning on spending a couple of months here working remotely and having a wholesome break from city life, but within a fortnight I started to think that I could live here. There was an amazing community within the town, with lots of young people. I flew back to England, sold my car and packed up my stuff.
About two weeks after I returned to Plettenberg Bay in June, a friend invited me to watch the rugby in the local sports bar. I sat down next to a man called Kieran, and we then spent the next couple of weeks hanging out as friends while he showed me around Plett. Two and a half years on, he is my husband, and the father of my child.
A South African country boy, he’s so different from any man I’ve ever met: genuine, wholesome, rugged. If I had met him in London, we never would have “matched” as it were. I am so grateful we met at the right time, in the right circumstances every day.
Hattie and Kieran’s wedding was a small family affair overlooking the Tsitsikamma mountains (Photo: Ruan Redelinghuys)
There’s not a huge big boozy culture here – especially when it comes to dating. Our first couple of weeks were spent hiking, going for morning cold dips in the sea, on coffee dates or playing padel together. Our first proper date was at 4pm on a Tuesday, where he cooked me prawns on the fire on a quiet beach and we spent hours and hours chatting.
We cut through the noise pretty quickly, and soon figured out whether we were on the same page about life’s biggest questions. Just five months after we met, we had a real f**k it moment and thought, let’s get married. A couple of weeks later we had family members visiting, so we found a beautiful venue and pulled together a stunning but simple ceremony. We said “I do” in front of our immediate families and a small group of close friends, overlooking the Tsitsikamma mountains.
Living in Plettenberg is similar to living in a small seaside town like Margate or somewhere in Devon. I wake up each morning to the most incredible pink sunrises over our lake, with elephants at the end of the garden. But we are still just 10 minutes from the town – which has amazing vineyards, padel courts, beautiful hotels and rooftop bars and plenty to keep us busy. Cape Town is the nearest big city which is roughly six hours by car or just over an hour to fly.
Our lifestyle feels a million miles away from London life. I am fundamentally happier on so many levels. There’s a big emphasis on living a healthy, clean lifestyle, which means better sleep, more movement and less drinking. It’s very normal to meet friends here for a morning swim and a coffee before starting the working day – which in London would have been a horrifying concept.
‘My life is infinitely happier, healthier and more fulfilled,’ says Hattie (Photo: Hattie MacAndrews)
I moved in with Kieran on his farm very soon after moving here, but for about £2,000 a month you could move into a big four-bedroom house with a swimming pool and a sea-view. The cost of living is remarkably cheap in comparison to the UK, and apart from a food shop (which costs about the same as London), I spend so much less on a daily basis than I used to. A coffee is £1.20, a breakfast out might cost £5, a game of paddle £4 and I can get an incredible manicure for £15. You would be hard pushed to spend more than £30 on a night out – including dinner and drinks.
Soon after moving I took out a private health insurance plan, which costs around £110 a month. When I fell pregnant, everything from my scans to the birth was covered with no extra cost. Kieran has his own storage business which he runs from home, so he’s around a lot to help with raising and taking care of our baby, Juniper, who’s now six months old. We are incredibly fortunate to have found a brilliant nanny, who we have with us three days a week. Nursery care costs around £15 a day. All this means that I have been able to return to work at my own pace, and do an exercise class or play a game of paddle. It gives me the time and space I need each day, so that I can be the type of mother I’d like to be – calm, happy and relaxed.
We recently spent a month in London, and it was really eye-opening to see friends in similar life stages to us – friends with good, well-paying jobs who couldn’t afford nannies, struggled to pay nursery fees or simply weren’t able to afford having more than one child. Mothers having to sacrifice careers they had worked so hard for, because it now didn’t make financial sense for them to continue whilst paying extortionate childcare fees. Or mothers who had to return to work and leave their small babies at home, feeling overwhelmed with guilt.
There isn’t enough support for new families in the UK – I do not know how relationships survive it. It really hit home for me what an enormous privilege it is to raise our child outside of the UK.
I spent many, very happy years in London and have a huge fondness for my life in my twenties and early thirties there – but since leaving I have never looked back. My life is infinitely happier, healthier and more fulfilled. I feel so fortunate that I finally took the plunge and moved here when I did.
As a coach, I help women to be brave and make fearless choices, and get off dating apps and into real life – and I’m glad I took my own advice. I feel I am the perfect example of what can happen when you have a little faith, and that the untrodden path is sometimes the best.