Not since Old Trafford in 1909, when 20 batters were sent packing, have more wickets fallen on the first day of an Ashes Test. There were 19 here, a fast-bowling festival, and those England supporters back home who woke up midway through could have been forgiven for feeling a bit played.
An initial collapse to 172 all out in 32.5 overs by the tourists must have been like discovering a horse’s head in the bed, reason to once again bemoan the excesses of so-called Bazball. But Ben Stokes (five for 23) and his fellow quicks then delivered a far more instructive message, reducing Australia to 123 for nine by stumps and inflicting a good few bruises to go with it.
If they were not aware before, Australians now have confirmation that this is a very different England side from those who have landed here in the recent past. The fast-forward but fragile batting was a known quantity, granted. But it now comes with a pool of high-octane seamers who, if they are managed well, should test techniques and tickers in equal measure.
Just ask Steve Smith, peppered as he was by Jofra Archer before the equally hostile Brydon Carse found his edge on 17. Archer twice cracked the funny bone that appeared to be missing 24 hours earlier when Smith was issuing that bizarre prepared speech about Monty Panesar, with another blow to a hand thrown in for good measure. It was a serious working over.
Marnus Labuschagne watches his bails fly off after being bowled by Jofra Archer. Photograph: Matt King/Cricket Australia/Getty Images
Only 71.5 overs were sent down in the day, but if anyone was claiming to be short-changed – beyond those with day three tickets, perhaps – they were howling into the void. Mitchell Starc’s career-best seven for 58 was worth the entrance fee alone, the footwork-devoid Zak Crawley knocked over with the sixth ball of the match and Joe Root, another duck, set up masterfully.
The 35-year-old’s 17th Test five-wicket haul, in the absence of Pat Cummins and Josh Hazlewood – one that included well set up sucker balls to remove Ben Duckett and Stokes – was just one of many plotlines in a warp-speed experience for those inside the ground.
A mastermind was not needed to work out England were subpar with the bat, Starc’s wobble-seam excellence not entirely excusing some of the dismissals. Harry Brook top-scored with a daring 52 that felt like a high-wire act, Ollie Pope not far behind with a confident 46. But a lower-order collapse of five for 12 in 19 balls was a bit shallow, truth be told, with the trap of two 85m square boundaries frustratingly ignored by a number of them.
What England did achieve during an innings that lasted 32.5 overs was to keep looking to score, something Australia did not. Brendan Doggett held his own with two wickets on debut, but Scott Boland was back in his form of the last Ashes series: denied the chance to settle and taken for 62 runs in 10 overs. Cummins and Hazlewood can not return soon enough for the hosts.
Ben Stokes holds the ball aloft after taking his fifth wicket in Perth. Photograph: Saeed Khan/AFP/Getty Images
That may sound absurd on one level, this being the 15th time in England’s last 30 innings in Australia they have failed to breach 200. Yet the old adage about not judging an innings until both teams have had a go rang true once more. Doggett notwithstanding, the pressure of Starc was not matched at the other end. England’s gang of five made it an ordeal from both.
It was not until Australia were 69 for four from 27 overs that Stokes felt it time to have a bowl himself. The all-rounder needed six overs to claim his second Test five-wicket haul on these shores. Travis Head, for 21, Cameron Green, 24, and Alex Carey, 26, were all wiped by his golden arm as Australia left the ground 49 runs in arrears and doubtless a bit dazed.
Bouncy though it was, the surface did not appear to be the terror track the raw numbers suggested. Air-speed counted for plenty and England had plenty more than their hosts. Gus Atkinson and Mark Wood went wicketless, but played significant roles in the chaos, the latter hitting 94mph on the speed gun. Green, struck on the helmet by Wood and nearly stumbling back on to his stumps, was another to be shaken.
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Australia had concerns about their top order before the series and the problems were only compounded further. It would be a stretch to claim it was 4D chess from England, but the lower-order collapse that followed Doggett getting Brook caught off the glove meant Usman Khawaja – who had been off the field with a back spasm – could not bat higher than No 4.
This forced Marnus Labuschagne to open once more and the debutant Jake Weatherald taking strike at the start of the reply. The left-hander’s first outing lasted two balls, knocked clean off his feet by Archer’s pacy full delivery and out lbw after a smart review from Stokes. Smith and Labuschagne made it to tea, but 15 runs from 10 overs told a story.
It ended with Labuschagne bowled for a 41-ball nine, Archer crashing another delivery into the elbow – the ball ricocheting on to the stumps – and with tone-setting figures of two for 11 from nine overs. Though he leaked more runs, Carse was no less hostile, squaring up Smith for an edge to slip before an absolute brute to dismiss the newly arrived Khawaja.
Mitchell Starc is applauded off the field after his career-best seven for 58. Photograph: Matt King/Cricket Australia/Getty Images
A fightback might have followed against an attack featuring a drop-off after the frontliners, but Stokes, the fifth quick, kept the foot on the throat with a remarkable 36-ball spell. English hands were adhesive, save for one chance dropped by Atkinson off his bowling, with Brook the standout at second slip.
The Yorkshireman had earlier given the 9,000 strong English contingent the jitters with his batting, repeatedly backing away to unleash his usual inside-out carves. But his own heart rate was seemingly low all day; one of only a few as this much-hyped series set pulses racing from the outset.