Right then. Gather round, butter the napkins, and prepare yourselves — because Greggs and Marks & Spencer have only gone and done something beautifully unhinged.
They’ve fused forces like a sugar-powered Megazord and unleashed the Percy Pig Pink Bake — a pastry so pink, so bold, so gloriously unnecessary that it feels less like a snack and more like a cultural event.
This isn’t food.
This is British chaos wrapped in flaky pastry.
🥐 WHAT EXACTLY IS THE PERCY PIG PINK BAKE?
Glad you asked, butt.
Imagine:
- A classic Greggs puff pastry, flaky enough to explode on impact
- A sweet raspberry jam centre oozing like a guilty secret
- Finished with a thick slab of Percy Pig pink icing that gives absolutely no thought to subtlety
It’s cheerful. It’s loud. It’s pinker than a bubblegum guitar at a glam rock gig. And somehow… it works.
Horribly. Perfectly. Spectacularly.
🎸 WHY THIS COLLAB SLAPS
Britain runs on Greggs.
Percy Pig runs through our veins.
So putting Percy into Greggs is like booking a pop icon to headline a sweaty punk venue — it shouldn’t work, but suddenly the place is rammed and nobody’s complaining.
Office workers are smashing these on lunch breaks.
Suits are sitting on benches with jam on their cuffs.
Careers are being quietly re-evaluated between bites.
This is high-street anarchy, mun.
💷 HOW MUCH DAMAGE ARE WE TALKING?
- £1.85
- Limited time only
- Zero dignity required
You’ve paid more for a coffee that tasted like regret. This at least delivers joy and a mild sugar rush.
🐖 THE RIFF REPORT VERDICT
Is it classy?
No.
Is it subtle?
Absolutely not.
Is it the most fun thing to happen to a bakery counter in ages?
Too right.
The Percy Pig Pink Bake is Britain in pastry form — daft, cheerful, unapologetic, and powered entirely by sugar and bad decisions. Rock ’n’ roll has amps. Punk has safety pins. Greggs has… this.
Get involved while you can, mun — because once it’s gone, we’ll all pretend we were there when history was baked. 🤘🥐💖