January is often a time to take stock. New year’s resolutions roll into back-to-work blues and a determination that this year will be different, somehow. A reset might be just the tonic, according to some scientists, with a recent study showing that giving up on a goal, or even just modifying it, could lead to a happier experience.
“That decision to let something go can be a tricky one,” says Hugh Riddell, a lecturer at the Curtin University School of Population Health, and lead author of the study, published in November. “But when people make that decision, it can often have positive implications for a person’s well-being.”
The meta-analysis of 235 previously published scientific papers looked into how people disengage, re-engage or adjust goals in response to obstacles and changes in circumstances. The “dominant social narrative”, says Riddell, is that persistence is the key to achievement.
“Undeniably, there is some truth to that” he says. “If we don’t stick to something, we’re never going to achieve anything.” But he wanted to explore when persistence doesn’t lead to success – when it instead leads to frustration, unhappiness and neglect of other parts of your life. “Where do we get into trouble when we’re persisting with things?”
He says that research has shown that sticking with the wrong goal can lead to stress, anxiety and depression, but that walking away from a goal, modifying a goal, or finding a new one can lead to improved mental health.
According to Robert Vallerand, a professor of psychology at the Université du Québec à Montréal, people can run into problems when their passion for a goal becomes obsessive. Whereas harmoniously passionate people are able to engage fully with other parts of their life while still having a profound enthusiasm for their passion project, obsessive passion is characterised by people being unable to stop thinking about their goal, even when they are not working towards it.
Vallerand’s research has found that the kind of passion a person has for a goal is an important factor in whether or not they will stick with it. Obsessive passion leads to people pursuing a goal even when it’s hurting them, while harmonious passion allows a more flexible approach.
Vallerand says that obsessive passion is often fostered by someone important in your life forcing you, enticing you or encouraging you into pursuing a goal, whereas harmoniously passionate people have often chosen their own goal.
Michael Milton, an athlete is all too aware that passions can become negative and it’s ground he is treading carefully as he trains to qualify for the 2026 Paralympic Winter Games in Milano-Cortina, Italy.
Milton hung up his Paralympic ski in 2006 after five Paralympics, six gold medals, three silver, and two bronze. By his mid-thirties, the champion found he had lost some of his drive to win and decided that it was time to concentrate on other parts of his life. “I haven’t always enjoyed my Paralympic experiences,” he says.
He regained his love for skiing when he was teaching his kids to ski. Family holidays in the snow and back-country adventures with his wife and kids reminded him of the pleasure of skiing. One night late last year, lying in bed, he began to wonder what it would be like to have one more crack. At age 52, he is aiming to make it back to an elite level in his sport.
Before making the decision, he sat down with his wife and children to discuss the impact his training schedule would have on their lives.
“I might flirt with the – let’s call it the over-passionate end of potential – but I’d like to think I’m going about it relatively sensibly,” he says. “I think I can make it fun.”
It’s this kind of considered approach to goal-setting that Riddell says is key to making sure that you are pursuing the right goals for you in 2026. “If you keep running into walls and it isn’t happening for you, that can actually be really detrimental for a person’s well-being and mental health.”
Instead, he says to reflect on what it is about that goal that appeals and consider whether a modified version of the goal could be as satisfying, but more achievable.
He takes the example of reaching the summit of Mount Everest. Is it being outdoors that is attractive? Is it the enjoyment of ticking off achievements? Is it impressing others with your tale of adventure? If it’s a desire just to be adventuring in the Himalayas, for example, perhaps a goal to hike to Everest base camp might be as pleasurable, but with a much higher chance of success.
Carsten Wrosch, a professor of psychology at Concordia University, in Montreal, Canada who has spent the better part of three decades trying to understand the implications of persisting with an unattainable goal says feeling glum can be a useful sign that something is the wrong goal for you. He says that persisting with the wrong goal can lead to depression, stress, inflammation and physical health problems.
Wrosch says checking in with a trusted friend can lend some outside perspective to the situation, particularly because people are more often overconfident about their abilities than under-confident. “Most people think they are better than average drivers,” he points out. “That means, on average, people are more likely to make the mistake to hang on too long.”
Riddell says that goals can be mobilising but agrees with Wrosch that feelings of frustration and failure can be useful in helping each person set the right goal for themselves.
“We should be looking for those goals that are boosting us up, and leading to that sense of satisfaction,” he says. “It’s that continual checking in and reflecting with yourself that’s really critical.”