4<\/p>\n Sheldon and Bertie Stringer credit supplements, sleep, weight training and open conversations for ‘curing’ his miserable man syndromeCredit: Bertie Stringer<\/p>\n Bertie Stringer says her husband Sheldon, 47, started suffering from it in 2018 shortly after turning 40. <\/p>\n “He went from being the Duracell bunny in terms of energy to being grumpy, demotivated, and just not himself,” she tells Sun Health. <\/p>\n “It mirrored my perimenopause symptoms but without a label.”<\/p>\n Thankfully some diet and lifestyle tweaks saved the pair from calling it quits, and they’re now happier than ever.<\/p>\n But not everyone is so lucky. Bertie and Sheldon, from Hertfordshire<\/a>, want other couples to be aware of the signs – and potential fixes – before it’s too late. <\/p>\n READ MORE ON MEN’S HEALTH<\/p>\n While it might not be officially recognised by the medical or psychological<\/a> community, miserable husband syndrome is something women across the country are familiar with.\u00a0<\/p>\n And couples and relationship<\/a> therapist Georgina Sturmer says it\u2019s a very real phenomenon.<\/p>\n She tells Sun Health: \u201cThe concept of \u2018miserable husband syndrome\u2019 is an idea or label that we might attribute to a man, typically in mid or later life, who is experiencing a deterioration in their mood.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cThey might be showing increasing signs of stress, anger or anxiety, and their change in mood is interrelated with their relationship, hence the use of the word \u2018husband\u2019.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n While it\u2019s not a new phenomenon, research suggests falling testosterone levels<\/a> in mid and later life<\/a> could account for some of the symptoms.\u00a0<\/p>\n Sometimes dubbed the \u2018male menopause<\/a>\u2019 or the \u2018manopause<\/a>\u2019 when testosterone levels decline \u2013 medically known as andropause<\/a> \u2013 symptoms can be far reaching.<\/p>\n Gogglebox legend shows off buff body transformation after admitting taking testosterone<\/p>\n It can cause changes in fat distribution leading to \u2018moobs<\/a>\u2019, insomnia<\/a>, loss of muscle mass and short term memory loss, to name but a few.\u00a0<\/p>\n GP Dr Helen Wall, from The Oaks Family Practice in Bolton<\/a>, says \u2018male menopause\u2019 can be a really unhelpful term though.<\/p>\n \u201cThe advice from the NHS is that while we appreciate that some men do become low in mood, lose their sex drive, get erectile dysfunction, have more emotional physical symptoms in their late 40s to early 50s, we don’t generally recognise it as male menopause,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n \u201cIn fact, we deem this an unhelpful term, because men lose testosterone at about one per cent a year around the age of 30 to 40 and it doesn’t generally cause any problems in itself.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cThere are physical and emotional stressors that come with age though.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cAs we age, we all increase our risk factors for cardiovascular disease, we all get more overweight, and we have more stress because life’s challenging.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cMen need to be aware of that and probably talk more about it.\u201d<\/p>\n While the NHS<\/a> doesn\u2019t recognise it, there\u2019s no doubt the fallout from this time in men\u2019s lives can be seismic. <\/p>\n I ‘cured’ my partner’s miserable man syndrome <\/p>\n BERTIE Stringer says her husband Sheldon, 47, suffered with miserable husband syndrome in 2018 before starting supplements which changed everything.<\/p>\n \u201cSheldon had just turned 40,\u201d says Bertie, 50, CEO of DNA Hormonal Health<\/a>, from Hertfordshire.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cHe went from being the Duracell bunny in terms of energy as he was a fitness trainer in a gym to being grumpy, demotivated, and just not himself.<\/p>\n \u201cIt mirrored my perimenopause symptoms but without a label.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cWe both knew he wasn\u2019t depressed but his doctor misunderstood his symptoms and packed him off with the antidepressant fluoxetine, sold under the brand name Prozac.<\/p>\n \u201cAs a nutritionist with a clinic full of similar aged men going through the same thing, I knew it was hormone related and when tested, like one in four men over 40, he had low testosterone.<\/p>\n \u201cOnce we knew what was going on, he started supplements which made a huge difference.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n He was taking Silverback<\/a>, which contains vitamins B, C, D, as well as zinc, magnesium, creatine, d’aspartic acid, nettle root extract, ashwagandha, tribulus terrestris, saffron flower extract, boron and piperine. <\/p>\n There is some evidence to suggest substances like d’aspartic acid can increase testosterone in men. <\/p>\n The product also claims to boost energy, improve sleep, provide libido support and assist the immune system, which Sheldon experienced.<\/p>\n But it wasn’t all down to Silverback, which is taken as a powder mixed with water. <\/p>\n \u201cWe also talked a lot which helped,\u201d Bertie adds.<\/p>\n \u201cMore divorces happen in the mid 40s than at any other time so sweeping it under the carpet is the worst thing you can do.\u201d<\/p>\n Sheldon, who also prioritised sleep and weight training, says having an understanding wife in Bertie made all the difference.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cFeeling so different so suddenly felt really isolating,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n \u201cI felt like talking about it might come across as weakness, or worse – that Bertie would think I was just being moody or difficult.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cThat sense of isolation definitely made things harder too.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cWhen I had my testosterone levels checked and they were in decline, it gave me a sense of reason for why things were like they were.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cIt wasn\u2019t easy but Bertie and I worked at things.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cIt started with small conversations and we made time for things we used to enjoy together, like walks, talking without phones, laughing about nonsense.<\/p>\n \u201cI also started prioritising my own mental and physical wellbeing more.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cIf anyone else is feeling like I did or has a husband or partner who\u2019s exhibiting the symptoms I did, I\u2019d say don\u2019t jump to judgement.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cIf your partner seems grumpy or withdrawn, there\u2019s probably something deeper going on.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cCreate a safe space for honest talk; even if it starts out awkward or uncomfortable.\u00a0And if you\u2019re the one feeling that way, don\u2019t stay silent.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cThe best relationships grow when both people are willing to listen and show up for each other.\u201d<\/p>\n Clinical sexologist Marie Morice sees lots of similar cases. <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m incredibly familiar with it, especially among women in midlife who come to me saying things like, \u2018My husband\u2019s so negative lately – it feels like he resents everything, including me\u2019,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n \u201cMiserable husband syndrome isn\u2019t a clinical diagnosis, but it is a culturally resonant term that captures something very real: when men in long-term relationships, often in their 40s to 60s, seem chronically irritable, disengaged, and emotionally flat.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not necessarily about hating their partner or marriage – it\u2019s about feeling stuck, disillusioned, and disconnected from their own sense of purpose or identity.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cOne of my clients told me her husband had started sleeping in a separate room, barely spoke to her, and only seemed animated when watching football or was scrolling through his phone.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s like he checked out of our life.\u201d<\/p>\n 4<\/p>\n The syndrome often surfaces in men between 45 and 60, especially after major life milestones – which Marie says exhibits as a loss of spark.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI had one client who said her husband became a completely different person after turning 50,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n \u201cHe didn\u2019t want to travel, stopped initiating sex, and barely engaged with his adult children.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cWhen she tried to talk to him about it, he either shut down or lashed out.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201c\u2018It\u2019s like he\u2019s angry at me for still having a spark,\u2019 she said. And that spark is very real – because for many women, this phase of life can feel like a second spring.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cThat contrast can feel threatening to a partner who is grappling with decline, disconnection, or internalised shame about ageing.\u201d<\/p>\n So how can you identify it in your own relationship before it’s too late? Marie says there are several key signs…<\/p>\n 1. BEHAVIOURAL CHANGES<\/p>\n MARIE says: \u201cIt overlaps with several known phenomena: midlife crisis, chronic stress, burnout, and even andropause \u2013 the so-called \u2018male menopause\u2019.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cUnlike the female menopausal transition, which tends to be more hormonally dramatic, men\u2019s hormonal decline is slower but it still impacts mood, libido, and vitality.<\/p>\n \u201cMany men in this phase are also grappling with unspoken fears about ageing, relevance, and mortality, as well as hair loss, which is one of the top sources of stress for middle aged men.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cThey often haven\u2019t been given the tools to name or express those feelings.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cSo it comes out sideways: through irritability, withdrawal, or sudden, confusing shifts in behaviour.\u201d<\/p>\n 2. REDUCED LIBIDO AND STAGNATION<\/p>\n MARIE says: \u201cThis involves a gradual decline in testosterone levels that can begin in a man\u2019s 40s.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cThis hormonal shift can lead to lower energy, mood swings, irritability, a lower than normal sex drive and even mild depression.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cHowever, while biology plays a role, what I see more often is a kind of existential slump brought on by the pressures of midlife: career stagnation, financial stress, children leaving home, or caring for ageing parents.\u00a0<\/p>\n Is your partner suddenly working long hours, disappearing into hobbies, or becoming oddly obsessed with fitness or social media? There might be something bubbling under the surface <\/p>\n Marie MoriceClinical sexologist <\/p><\/blockquote>\n \u201cThe husband of a client I was working with broke down after his father died, but instead of expressing grief, he became increasingly detached.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cHe said he \u2018felt like a ghost in his own life\u2019. That line stayed with me; it\u2019s such a common theme.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cThese men don\u2019t necessarily need a new partner or a new car; they need to reconnect with who they are now, in this new chapter.\u201d<\/p>\n![\"Bertie](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/bertie-sheldon-stringer-994299610.jpg\")
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