Meet Camilla Honeyleaf, who runs the\u00a0\u2018Sugar is Poison\u2019\u202fYouTube channel that,\u00a0she\u2019ll\u00a0proudly tell you,\u00a0\u2018has\u00a0given\u00a0thousands\u00a0of\u00a0people\u00a0the eating disorder they so badly need\u2019.\u00a0An entrepreneur and an activist,\u00a0Camilla has a\u00a0calling: to bring health to the masses, or at least the massive.\u00a0She\u00a0won\u2019t\u00a0rest until friends and strangers alike discover the joys of a\u00a0cupcake\u00a0made\u00a0entirely from\u00a0avocado, burnt quinoa husks and a semi-organic sweetener that has\u00a0definitely not\u00a0caused\u00a0tumours\u00a0in laboratory rats.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Healthy living, she says, is not an option but a\u00a0calling. She is fond of a pithy bon mot (\u2018They\u2019re like sentences trimmed of fat!\u2019), including\u00a0\u2018Life began when I became vegan\u2019\u00a0and\u00a0\u2018Treat your colon like your closest friend.\u2019\u00a0She lives by the latter dictum in\u00a0particular, and\u00a0has been named Customer of the Month at her local high-colonic\u00a0clinic\u00a0three years on the\u00a0trot.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
Camilla\u2019s latest venture, a beetroot smoothie\u00a0purportedly made\u00a0from an ancient Roman recipe beloved by the Caesars, claims to boost both gut health and feminine hygiene. (Slogan:\u00a0\u2018Veggie\u00a0vaggy\u00a0meat-free!\u2019) She is in talks to supply the smoothie to women\u2019s prisons, a project she views as deeply charitable. Jail, she explains, is bad enough without adding thrush into the mix. At times, Camilla will admit that her constant business acumen feels like both a blessing and a curse. She is addicted to\u00a0coming up with\u00a0marketable ideas, and not just because creative brainstorming burns calories. Currently under development is her crash-course\u00a0weight loss\u00a0service that delivers a single ingredient to the door, whereupon customers are forced to wrestle the\u00a0delivery\u00a0man\u00a0for their meal. Camilla\u00a0hopes that\u00a0\u2018Too Fat? Tofu!\u2019\u00a0will be live by Q1 of next\u00a0year.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Her exercise routine is equally varied and rich. On any given afternoon you might find her Jazzercising,\u00a0running\u00a0marathons or slapping whatever she suspects\u00a0contains\u00a0gluten out of her husband\u2019s hand. She is passionate about getting everyone to\u00a0exercise anywhere, anytime. The world is our\u00a0gym,\u00a0she is fond of saying, and\u00a0you\u2019re\u00a0never\u00a0to\u00a0old to make use of it. As proof,\u00a0she\u2019ll\u00a0often leave her wheelchair-bound mother\u2019s insulin just out of reach. She pooh-poohs any notion that this ritual is cruel, calling it\u00a0\u2018the perfect shoulder-lift routine. Mummy\u2019s triceps have never looked better.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n
Asked what her greatest fear is, she replies instantly:\u00a0\u2018A repeat of the Covid pandemic\u00a0\u2013\u00a0such a horrifying global tragedy.\u2019\u00a0Pressed for more details, she bites back tears and explains:\u00a0\u2018Due to logistical issues Oslo-side, I was unable to\u00a0receive\u00a0the only brand of Norwegian yoghurt I\u00a0really trust. I went months without my\u00a0punnets\u00a0of Hvit-Sn\u00f8\u00a0GladKu.\u2019\u00a0At her lowest point mid-pandemic, Camilla reveals, she considered buying Tesco own-brand peanut butter,\u00a0\u2018but fortunately I came to my senses.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n
Despite her love of foreign snacks, Camilla is no fan of going abroad. Wander too far from the Anglosphere, and many elements stray dangerously out of your\u00a0control,\u00a0she cautions. Ingredient lists are\u00a0frequently\u00a0illegible, as manufacturers insist on printing them in the local language; F&B hygiene is often suspect at best; and foreign waiters grow notoriously snippy when you ask them for the calorie count of each dish.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And\u00a0don\u2019t\u00a0get Camilla started\u00a0about\u00a0international air travel. She once was trapped on a\u00a0red-eye\u00a0to New York with a broken in-flight entertainment system. The sole working channel played nothing but that year\u2019s North American pancake-eating\u00a0championships, and\u00a0could not be shut off.\u00a0\u2018I was travelling to a health conference as a keynote speaker (ironically speaking about the dangers of carbs) and I was a\u00a0mess\u00a0the next morning,\u2019\u00a0she reports. Memories of that fateful pancake broadcast haunt her to this day.\u00a0\u2018I can still see all that butter. And those chins\u00a0\u2013\u00a0three to a person, sometimes\u00a0\u2013\u00a0chewing, on and on\u2026\u2019\u00a0She is currently suing British Airways for emotional\u00a0distress.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Some friends, concerned about her punishing routine and drive to succeed, have called Camilla\u2019s crusade for wellness an obsession.\u00a0It\u2019s\u00a0an\u00a0accusation\u00a0she laughs off. She is perfectly able to live a life outside of food. She loves playing, for example, with her two dogs, Quinoa and Ozempic. The latter is \u2018a darling pup, named after a bothersome drug \u2014 it\u2019s lost me so many customers.\u2019\u00a0 Sadly, both terriers are prone to frequent bouts of illness. Just last week, the vet diagnosed both animals with severe calcium deficiencies.\u00a0\u2018It\u2019s mystifying,\u2019\u00a0their worried owner sighs.\u00a0\u2018They eat nothing but\u00a0pints\u00a0of the most frightfully expensive clear nut-broth every day.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n
While Camilla broadcasts much of her life on her 14 social channels, the entrepreneur\u00a0hosts some skeletons in the closet. Her darkest secret? Camilla\u2019s real name is Gertrude Weinerslav, a moniker she changed the minute she was legally able. (\u2018Too many guttural fricatives, darling. And the uppercase\u00a0\u2018W\u2019 is the fatty of the alphabet.\u2019) Her second-darkest secret: once a year she gets blackout drunk on a magnum of Blue Nun and eats seven Happy Meals in her car. She calls it her shameful cleanse.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u2018I\u2019m not perfect,\u2019\u00a0she happily admits.\u00a0\u2018But at least I look perfect.\u2019\u00a0And with that, Camilla sprints off for a six-mile\u00a0power walk\u00a0and a pre-emptive high-colonic. Just talking about fried food, she says, can knock a colon as sensitive as hers out of kilter. \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Meet Camilla Honeyleaf, who runs the\u00a0\u2018Sugar is Poison\u2019\u202fYouTube channel that,\u00a0she\u2019ll\u00a0proudly tell you,\u00a0\u2018has\u00a0given\u00a0thousands\u00a0of\u00a0people\u00a0the eating disorder they so badly need\u2019.\u00a0An…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1125678,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_share_on_mastodon":"0"},"categories":[4318],"tags":[105,4434,107116,16,15],"class_list":["post-1125677","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-nutrition","tag-health","tag-nutrition","tag-satire","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom"],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@uk\/117025120420032115","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1125677","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1125677"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1125677\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1125678"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1125677"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1125677"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1125677"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}