The desecration of the word \u2018exclusive\u2019 continues apace as The Sun insist that a middle-aged man telling the dreariest middle-aged man anecdote imaginable constitutes major football news.<\/p>\n
But at least the space that takes up means a bit less room for pretending Arsenal are bedevilled by doom and indeed gloom after losing one pre-season game, a crisis that has now entered its second day and is now surely fast approaching badge-cracking territory.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s also some b*llocks about Liverpool because there is always some b*llocks about Liverpool.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Butt of the joke<\/p>\n
Genuinely astonishing content from The Sun<\/strong> this morning, claiming the following as both an EXCLUSIVE and the second biggest story in all of football this bright Friday morn, just behind the Arsenal-scuppering news of Vini Jr\u2019s new Real Madrid deal<\/strong><\/a>. We\u2019re not sure which of those two incorrect assertions has irritated us more.<\/p>\n Man Utd icon Nicky Butt BANNED from local tip after \u2018raging\u2019 row with staff<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Mediawatch has said this before, but you cannot claim an EXCLUSIVE if the sole reason you\u2019re the only people with a story is that literally nobody else anywhere on earth gives a single, solitary shiny sh*te.<\/p>\n But this is worse than that. How did The Sun get this EXCLUSIVE? How did they manage to unearth the deeply concealed news that Nicky Butt has been banned \u2013 sorry, BANNED \u2013 from his local tip?<\/p>\n They listened to Nicky Butt quite literally broadcast the news that he\u2019d been banned \u2013 sorry, BANNED \u2013 from his local tip on the podcast he does every week with Paul Scholes and Paddy McGuinness.<\/p>\n It\u2019s a thrilling tale, for sure.<\/p>\n Butt then claimed the attendant accused him of trying to sneak in items.<\/p>\n The dad of two told The Good, The Bad & The\u00a0Football\u00a0podcast: \u201cHe said to me, \u2018Your windows are blacked out because you\u2019re sneaking stuff into it, into the tip\u2019. And I went, \u2018No, it\u2019s standard, mate\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n He then decided to drive into the site, believed to be the Woodhouse Lane Recycling Centre in Altrincham.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Transfer rumour tropes being applied to Altrincham recycling centres. Truly, we live in an age of wonders.<\/p>\n He said: \u201cI thought, well, I\u2019m there now, I\u2019m gonna go for it. So I\u2019ve got up the ramp, I see this bloke getting up\u2009.\u2009.\u2009.\u2009trying to chase me up the hill, but he\u2019s got his walkie-talkie out.<\/p>\n \u201cSo I\u2019ve literally got up the top, throw all the bags out, and I\u2019m going back down the hill, and he\u2019s going mad at me. Anyway, I\u2019m banned from the tip.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n But surely The Sun have done some small amount of additional reporting? Surely they haven\u2019t just put an EXCLUSIVE tag on a transcript of a genuinely staggeringly boring anecdote, one you\u2019d be annoyed at the time you\u2019d wasted never to get back if your mate shared it in the pub?<\/p>\n Surely they\u2019ve at least, you know, contacted the council to try and find out if Butt is actually banned \u2013 sorry, BANNED \u2013 from the tip? Or perhaps secure a witness to confirm any of this even actually happened?<\/p>\n Haha, of course they haven\u2019t done that. They have \u2018contacted [Butt] for comment\u2019. We await the next update on what literally everybody is now calling Tipgate with breath suitably baited.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Friends reunited<\/p>\n Lovely bit of mischief from the Mirror<\/strong> here.<\/p>\n Darwin Nunez in line for unexpected Liverpool reunion after transfer twist<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Now this is not Mediawatch\u2019s first time around the transfer window block, so we obviously knew this headline didn\u2019t mean what it (of course accidentally) looks like it means. Obviously they\u2019re not saying Darwin Nunez is going back to Liverpool. Why on earth would anyone think \u2018Liverpool reunion\u2019 might mean that?<\/p>\n But we thought it at least meant a move where he would be\u2026 reunited with Liverpool. Like, he\u2019s coming back to the Premier League and thus will play against them. That kind of b*llocks.<\/p>\n But no. This is not even that kind of b*llocks.<\/p>\n It is this kind of b*llocks.<\/p>\n Mohamed Salah could soon be joined at Trabzonspor by Darwin Nunez, with Salah\u2019s former\u00a0Liverpool\u00a0team-mate also a transfer target for the ambitious Turkish Super Lig outfit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n That\u2019s an unexpected Salah reunion you scamps, and you absolutely know it.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n It\u2019s the end of the world as we know it<\/p>\n We had our fun yesterday with The Sun getting into a full-blown panic about Arsenal losing one pre-season friendly<\/strong><\/a>, but the sheer volume of content they\u2019re churning out about one pre-season defeat is starting to look like some kind of cry for help.<\/p>\n Mediawatch is increasingly uncomfortable in its seat as The Currant Bun attempt to drag a second day of discourse out of one pre-season game. One day of discourse about one pre-season game is already one too many.<\/p>\n Yet having initially pretended the defeat might have a meaningful impact on the 26\/27 Premier League title race, The Sun<\/strong> were back 24 hours later with this.<\/p>\n Five things we learned from Arsenal\u2019s woeful loss to Real Betis with Kepa displaced as No2 and Tzolis\u2019 lethal asset<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n See, this is the problem. We\u2019re not always convinced there are five worthwhile things to learn from actual proper games of football \u2013 the correct number if there are indeed things to learn is in any case, as everyone knows, 16<\/strong><\/a> \u2013 but there absolutely are not ever five useful things to learn from a pre-season game.<\/p>\n This, though, is our favourite line in what is now The Sun\u2019s fifth different \u2018sky is falling\u2019 story in the last 24 hours about Arsenal losing one pre-season game.<\/p>\n A pre-season defeat is never the end of the world\u2026<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n We really wish that had been the thing they\u2019d learned. But apparently not.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Poll tax<\/p>\n One to keep an eye on here. Mediawatch has dealt in the past \u2013 more often than we\u2019d like \u2013 with the Daily Express<\/strong> trick of asking its infamously calm, thoughtful and rational readership to vote in provocative polls and then posting the provocative results of those provocative polls under headlines suggesting \u2013 quite incorrectly \u2013 that there is an actual story or indeed any viable content whatsoever involved.<\/p>\n\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n