Retreat 12 months into the past and only nine sets of fans counted themselves 80 per cent optimistic or above, while the other end of the table was a bleak, dark wasteland. After the contentious departure of Alexander Isak to Liverpool, Newcastle were bottom with only 19 per cent of their supporters describing themselves as optimistic. Wolverhampton Wanderers were on 32 per cent and West Ham United 39.<\/p>\n
Hats off, by the way, to all three, and b****r off to a pair of them. Newcastle\u2019s league season was a slog and they finished 12th. Wolves and West Ham were relegated. Here, therefore, was a valuable lesson: pessimism pays. If you suspect that things will turn out to be s*** and they do, indeed, turn out to be s***, then at least you can\u2019t be disappointed when s*** happens. And if, by some starry miracle, things go better, then hooray! How nice!<\/p>\n
But even this year\u2019s gloomiest, most disconsolate depressives are positively Panglossian compared to previous instalments. Every single set of supporters is more optimistic than pessimistic, which just feels wrong. Three years ago<\/a>, only eight per cent of West Ham fans had a positive mindset, Sheffield United were on 17 per cent and Everton 26. The season before<\/a>, Bournemouth were bottom with 27 per cent. Genuine, substantive despair.<\/p>\n Being happy is more pleasant than being sad, of course, except the effect here is akin to that movie Smile, in which Laura, the protagonist, believes she is being hounded by something that nobody else can see that inhabits the form of disturbing, smiling people and everybody thinks she\u2019s crazy until the moment when, to quote Wikipedia, the \u201cEntity corners her and rips its skin off to reveal its true form: a skinless, semi-humanoid monstrosity with multiple sets of smiling jaws\u201d.<\/p>\n Don’t know about you, but I really hate it when that happens.<\/p>\n So what gives with all the gleaming gnashers? Is it connected to the shock of the new and the fact that nine clubs begin this season with new permanent managers, a record for the division, so even where there is a frisson of uncertainty, it is balanced by freshness? Is it collective madness?<\/p>\n We asked The Athletic\u2019s crack team of editors and writers to choose any five words to sum up where things stand for the clubs they cover. We also forgot to switch off comments when readers completed their surveys \u2014 a mistake I shall not be repeating on this piece, don’t you worry! \u2014 so here is a pithy, amusing, insightful or most-liked comment for each club, too, enhanced with a light sprinkling of snarkiness, split into sections corresponding to an actual Premier League table.<\/p>\n Leeds United<\/strong><\/p>\n Beren Cross:<\/strong> Prove second-season syndrome’s a myth.<\/p>\n Anonymous:<\/strong> Feeling very optimistic. Extended Ethan Ampadu<\/a>. Picked up Harry Wilson, Tarik Muharemovic and James Trafford. Need a few more pieces, especially for depth\/cover, but the foundation is getting strong!<\/p>\n Some popular stereotypes about Yorkshire and its people: northern, dour, straight-talking, no-nonsense, stingy. Stereotypes are often misleading: Leeds have just spent \u00a340million ($54m) on a goalkeeper, and everybody\u2019s giddy. This is end-of-days stuff.<\/p>\n Aston Villa<\/strong><\/p>\n Jacob Tanswell:<\/strong> We need you, Unai Emery<\/p>\n \n Emery celebrates winning the Europa League last season (Photo: Neville Williams\/Aston Villa FC via Getty Images)<\/p>\n Matt E:<\/strong> What\u2019s the point in feeling anything other than optimistic?!<\/p>\n Two answers, Matt. 1. Because nothing good ever happens, ever. 2. Squad cost ratio (SCR)<\/a>.<\/p>\n Nottingham Forest<\/strong><\/p>\n Paul Taylor:\u00a0<\/strong>Another new era? Cautious optimism.<\/p>\n Urs A:<\/strong> We’ll struggle badly\u2026 and only win the league by five points instead of by March. You bloody Reds.<\/p>\n If you are going to do hope, then at least do it properly like Urs, with absolute swivel-eyed delusion.<\/p>\n Brentford<\/strong><\/p>\n Jay Harris:<\/strong> Cup run and Europe, please.<\/p>\n Jacob S.<\/strong> I’m feeling like there will be about five articles centred on Brentford this season.<\/p>\n I\u2019m feeling like this certainly isn\u2019t one of them.<\/p>\n Chelsea<\/strong><\/p>\n Liam Twomey:\u00a0<\/strong>Vamos, Xabi Alonso, or else.<\/p>\n Payden M:<\/strong> Feeling great! We are going to score a ton of goals between Joao Pedro, Cole Palmer, and Morgan Rogers. The only question is how many we are going to let in!<\/p>\n Is it just me, or is this slightly menacing from Liam, or Mr Twomey, as we should probably refer to him from now on?<\/p>\n Tottenham Hotspur<\/strong><\/p>\n Jay Harris:<\/strong> Can (Roberto) De Zerbi\u2019s record signings<\/a> deliver?<\/p>\n Anonymous:<\/strong> Feeling confident that we\u2019ll stay up.<\/p>\n Thank you, Anonymous. That\u2019s much more like it.<\/p>\n \n Roberto De Zerbi kept Tottenham up last season (Saeed Khan\/AFP via Getty Images)<\/p>\n Sunderland<\/strong><\/p>\n Philip Buckingham:<\/strong> Bring on Europa League fun.<\/p>\n Cmjmarshall:<\/strong> The most important thing is that we have held on to every important member of the squad. If that remains the case, we should be in good shape.<\/p>\n The ultimate trend-buckers. Promoted last year, Sunderland comprehensively refigured their squad and didn\u2019t just stay up \u2014 they thrived, qualifying for Europe for only the second time in their history<\/a> and beating Newcastle twice along the way. Safe to say, their optimism is merited, and we\u2019re all absolutely delighted for them, obviously. Yes. Delighted. Truly delighted<\/a>. Yes.<\/p>\n Bournemouth<\/strong><\/p>\n Jacob Tanswell:<\/strong> (Andoni) Iraola gone, but Europe beckons.<\/p>\n Coach C:<\/strong> Up the Cherries!<\/p>\n Being well-run and successful and cheerful and consistently over-achieving really doesn\u2019t help this kind of article. Up yours, Cherries, more like.<\/p>\n Arsenal<\/strong><\/p>\n Art de Roche:<\/strong> Can you finally retain it?<\/p>\n Sickson E:<\/strong> Nigerian CUSTOMS has LAUNCHED an online auction of SEIZED ITEMS, giving everyone in AFRICA \/ NIGERIANS the CHANCE to own ANY ITEMS at an affordable price.\u2028 INTERESTED buyers should: CONTACT the state auctioneer.<\/p>\n Hmm. Is this a kind of code? Is it something to do with set pieces<\/a>?<\/p>\n Manchester United<\/strong><\/p>\n Carl Anka:<\/strong> Top four and a trophy.<\/p>\n Stuart L:<\/strong> Can\u2019t answer a binary question when the situation is more nuanced. Survey needs a third option at least. I would wager my mortgage that the majority of fans would pick the middle option \u2014 “depends on transfers over the next two weeks”<\/p>\n Wow, sorry for breathing, Stuart! It\u2019s not as if I spend my time going to other people\u2019s places of work and telling them how useless they are\u2026 oh wait, that\u2019s exactly what I do! Apologies.<\/p>\n Hull City<\/strong><\/p>\n Philip Buckingham:<\/strong> No-hopers daring to dream. Again.<\/p>\n Ben A:<\/strong> Personally treating it as a holiday.<\/p>\n Good idea, Ben. Welcome to your one-star hotel in that bit of Spain surrounded by wildfires and where the locals are protesting against the influx of tourists. Enjoy your stay!<\/p>\n Coventry City<\/strong><\/p>\n Tom Burrows:<\/strong> 25 years later, we\u2019re back<\/p>\n Paul R:<\/strong> I’m optimistically terrified! Could stay up, probably will go down. We just need to embrace it and enjoy the ride!<\/p>\n I adore the notion of being optimistically terrified and have been desperately trying to think of a real-life example where it might apply.<\/p>\n PILOT: \u201cWe are about to crash-land, please adopt the brace position.\u201d<\/p>\n PASSENGER: \u201cWooooo, this is just like a roller-coasterAAAAAAAAAAARGH!\u201d<\/p>\n Ipswich Town<\/strong><\/p>\n Ali Rampling:<\/strong> Realistic. Simply survival would do.<\/p>\n Rpet13:<\/strong> Ipswich will NOT be relegated after this season.<\/p>\n Could be relegated during this season though, couldn\u2019t they, Rpet? Eh? Eh?<\/p>\n Manchester City<\/strong><\/p>\n Sam Lee:<\/strong> Uncertain, hopeful, fearful, exciting, fearsome.<\/p>\n Neil G:<\/strong> As post-best-ever-manager vibes go, really pretty positive.<\/p>\n Yeah, fascinating. City’s less noisy neighbours could spin a yarn or two about how the end of an empire can be a traumatic business.<\/p>\n \n Will Enzo Maresca be battling Mikel Arteta for the title? (David Price\/Arsenal FC via Getty Images)<\/p>\n Crystal Palace<\/strong><\/p>\n Max Matthews:<\/strong> Twice-in-a-lifetime European tour; cautiously optimistic.<\/p>\n Roger G:<\/strong> Last year, I said that having watched Palace for 62 years before finally triumphing at Wembley, I didn’t care what happened. To end the season with another fabulous trophy (and a wonderful trip to Leipzig with sons and grandsons) was beyond my wildest expectations. So again I say, \u201cI don’t care how this season goes, I am still in wonderland!\u201d<\/p>\n Roger, this is beautiful. Curse you.<\/p>\n But Max is really pushing the five-word limit here, the journalistic equivalent of selling a hotel to yourself or offloading your women\u2019s team to somebody else to ensure financial compliance. We see you, Max. Still, you\u2019ve got away with it, haven’t you? Everybody else does.<\/p>\n Brighton & Hove Albion<\/strong><\/p>\n Andy Naylor:<\/strong> New for old. Will it work?<\/p>\n Anonymous F:<\/strong> Another season with a squad list that is unrecognisable.<\/p>\n This is six words, Andy. Yellow card.<\/p>\n Brighton are the original shiny, happy, skinless, semi-humanoid monstrosity people. Whatever they do, whatever is done to them, they find a way of being absolutely fine and smiley. So sinister.<\/p>\n Newcastle United<\/strong> \n Eddie Howe has gone, so what will Newcastle 2.0 achieve? (Owen Humphreys\/PA Images via Getty Images)<\/p>\n Chris Waugh:<\/strong>\u00a0Newcastle 2.0: Into the unknown.<\/p>\n Graeme L:<\/strong> We\u2019re winning the lot. Howay the lads.<\/p>\n O A:<\/strong> We look s*** and won\u2019t finish higher than 15th.<\/p>\n I\u2019m pretty sure Graeme is not entirely serious, but I\u2019m flouting convention with two reader comments instead of one because they were next to one another and made me laugh and accurately sum up the emotional extremities of Tyneside<\/a>. Newcastle have lost most of their touchstones, although their touchstone only got them to 12th last season. Will they be good, will they be bad, will they be bonkers, or will it be all three?<\/p>\n Everton<\/strong><\/p>\n Patrick Boyland:<\/strong> Can (David) Moyes earn new deal?<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/UNAI-EMERY-EMI-MARTINEZ-scaled.jpg\")
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