{"id":117481,"date":"2025-05-20T16:19:16","date_gmt":"2025-05-20T16:19:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/117481\/"},"modified":"2025-05-20T16:19:16","modified_gmt":"2025-05-20T16:19:16","slug":"no-one-will-bring-my-husband-back-russian-military-widows-process-their-loss-through-social-media","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/117481\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018No One Will Bring My Husband Back\u2019: Russian Military Widows Process Their Loss Through Social Media"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cThe special military operation will end. The presidents will reach an agreement. But\u2026 no one will bring back my husband,\u201d Russian military widows from different regions write<\/a> on Instagram.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Their videos are often accompanied by footage of their dead husbands and a track by the singer Machete: \u201cI’m crying, your mascara runs.\u201d<\/p>\n

Among those sharing such videos is Natalia<\/a> from western Russia\u2019s Belgorod region bordering Ukraine. Her husband, Andrei Knyazev, signed a 13-year contract with the Defense Ministry in 2017.\u00a0<\/p>\n

After the full-scale invasion of Ukraine, Natalia launched a series on her Instagram titled<\/a> \u201cLetter to My Husband\u201d in which she addressed Andrei while he was away on the front lines.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cI know this will all be over soon, and you\u2019ll come home. I\u2019m waiting,\u201d she wrote.<\/p>\n

On Oct. 13, 2022, Natalia learned<\/a> that Andrei had been killed in combat.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cI remember that day down to the minute,\u201d she wrote on Instagram, which is banned in Russia.<\/p>\n

Natalia now has 7,000 followers on Instagram and describes herself as \u201ca widow learning to live again.\u201d In her most popular\u00a0video<\/a>, which has nearly 1 million views, she shares glimpses of her grief and how she copes with loss through scenes in a church, her home and a swimming pool.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve spent two and a half years wishing this was just a terrible dream, that my beloved husband would smile at me and our children, not from a photo on a gravestone,\u201d says<\/a> Natalia in a post to women considering getting married to a Russian soldier.<\/p>\n

In the comments under her posts, some viewers call Natalia the wife of a hero. Others ask why her husband went to war against Ukraine.<\/p>\n

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As social media has become more ubiquitous, people have increasingly used it as a space to process their grief, psychologist Galina Petrakova told The Moscow Times.<\/p>\n

\u201cSocial media, as a relatively new part of our lives, is also becoming a part of the mourning process,\u201d she said. \u201cIt offers the psyche an additional way to reflect and cope with loss, as well as a channel for receiving support, especially from others who have gone through similar experiences.\u201d<\/p>\n

According to Petrakova, the psychological impact of social media on grief remains complex and difficult to measure.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Still, \u201cposting offers widows a way to express their pain and to feel that both they and their loss are being witnessed,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe this topi\u0441 [my husband\u2019s funeral] doesn\u2019t belong on Instagram,\u201d wrote<\/a> Maria in a recent story. \u201cBut I\u2019m trying to find ways to survive in this world, and maybe this helps.\u201d<\/p>\n

Maria buried her husband this past March. She found<\/a> out about his death on the day of their son\u2019s fourth birthday and later recorded a reel reflecting on that moment. Now 28, she is raising two sons alone, the younger<\/a> of whom is less than 1 year old.<\/p>\n

Before her husband\u2019s death, Maria would blog about motherhood, cosmetics and handmade toys. Today, in her videos, she addresses<\/a> her infant son: \u201cThis child will never know what a father\u2019s love and care feel like. It\u2019s not fair!\u201d<\/p>\n

Former wives of mobilized soldiers are also sharing stories of their husbands\u2019 deaths on their blogs.\u00a0<\/p>\n

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Bronislava<\/a> from the Siberian city of Krasnoyarsk became a widow at 29.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cOn October 8, my husband left after receiving his draft notice. I didn\u2019t want him to go \u2014 there were tears and fights \u2014 but there was no choice,\u201d she wrote<\/a> on social media.<\/p>\n

In the comments, one follower answers: \u201cI\u2019m sorry for your loss. It\u2019s hard to go through something like this. But what hurts even more is that, in truth, they weren\u2019t sent to defend the homeland, but to attack their neighbors.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nearly a year after burying her husband, Bronislava threw<\/a> her wedding ring into the sea, hoping to break the \u201cbond that once was.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAt each stage of grief, people search for ways to process the overwhelming emotional experience they\u2019re going through,\u201d psychologist Petrakova said. \u201cThe ability to share that experience with others is a key part of coping with loss, reflected in the many rituals that different cultures offer those who have lost a loved one.\u201d<\/p>\n

Like other war widows, Bronislava posts<\/a> reels set to the theme song of \u201cLandyshi<\/a>,\u201d a Russian TV series that romanticizes military service and the war in Ukraine.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cI miss you, and it feels like forever,\u201d the song\u2019s lyrics say over a montage of photos of her late husband.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe imagined a different ending for our story. In none of [these endings] am I bringing flowers [to your grave],\u201d writes<\/a> another widow, Natasha, on Instagram. She buried her husband six months ago.<\/p>\n

In the comments, other women share their losses.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cThe \u2018special military operation\u2019\u2026 the mobilization\u2026 How many of us are there, mourning the fallen?\u201d one of Natasha\u2019s followers asks<\/a> rhetorically.<\/p>\n

Petrakova says the death of a loved one can sometimes have an impact on military widows\u2019 worldviews and values, but not always.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt some point, a person learns to exist again in a world without their loved one and begins to explore different ways of engaging with that reality,\u201d she says. \u201cThey may start to reinterpret what happened in various contexts and use their experience of loss to support their values through positive actions.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the case of military widows, this can mean a more active civic stance, often visible on social media, shaped by their personal journey of grief and reflection,\u201d Petrakova said.<\/p>\n

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