![\"couple](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/we-pulled-best-relationship-advice-from-books-these-work-woman-bond-going-out-men-bond-football-game.jpeg\" "\\"we")
Perfect Wave \/ Shutterstock<\/p>\nWe\u2019re all so busy with life and work (and their dramas) that sometimes weeks and months go by between reading actual books. It\u2019s hard to motivate ourselves when mindless internet browsing feels so much easier and less mind-consuming.\u00a0<\/p>\n
But what if reading a book can actually help us fix our love dramas? A great reason to turn that page. But if you don’t get around to it, fear not: We’ve done the work for you by culling the best pieces of relationship advice from self-help books. (We’ll bill you later.)\u00a0<\/p>\n
We pulled the best relationship advice from dozens of books \u2014 these 7 tips actually work:1. Talk to men like men \u2014 not like your girlfriends<\/p>\n
Perfect Wave \/ Shutterstock<\/p>\n
\u00a0“Remember the facts of life, women bond by going out and talking about every detail of their lives. Men bond by going to a football game and talking about nothing” \u2014 Dushan Zaric & Jason Kosmas,\u00a0You Didn\u2019t Hear It From Us<\/a><\/p>\n \u201cBartenders possess the highest aptitude for small talk of just about anyone, and the authors of this book (bartenders themselves) hit the nail on the head when it comes to chatting up a guy. Don\u2019t talk to men<\/a> as if they were your girlfriends. Don\u2019t tell them about your problems, the mundanities of your life, or too-personal details. It doesn\u2019t create intimacy, it creates panic.\u201d\u00a0 \u2014Mallory Farrugia, Editorial Director of Scribd<\/a>.<\/p>\n RELATED: A Psychiatrist’s Single Best Piece Of Relationship Advice<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n 2. Stop settling \u2014 if he\u2019s not into you, believe him<\/p>\n “Remember always what you set out to get, and please don\u2019t settle for less” \u2015 Greg Behrendt, He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys<\/a><\/p>\n This book is pretty simple, really. If you\u2019re dating a guy and he disappears, doesn\u2019t call, doesn\u2019t want to talk about commitment, and doesn\u2019t try to spend loads of time with you, then he\u2019s just not that into you!\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI think this book helps women to look closely at what is really happening in their dating relationships and to stop living in the realm of what could be or might be. Ultimately, \u201che\u2019s just not that into you\u201d allows women to respect themselves<\/a> enough to move away from relationships that aren\u2019t working, with the knowledge that it\u2019s nothing personal; it\u2019s just not a good match. And the book also equips women with the knowledge of what a relationship looks like when a man is into you,” says Melanie Young of\u00a0Heart Mind and Soul relationship coaching<\/a>.<\/p>\n RELATED: If You Want To Keep Your Love Alive, There’s Only 10 Pieces Of Advice You Must Know <\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n 3. Self-worth starts with you, not your partner<\/p>\n “It’s not your job to like me \u2015 it’s mine” \u2015 Byron Katie,\u00a0I Need Your Love Is That True<\/a>?<\/p>\n \u201cThere is so much simple wisdom in this book, which encourages us, as the reader, to question our thoughts and to ask ourselves, ‘Who would you be without this thought?\u201d says Young. This can be a real relationship saver if you, like many of us, are the type of person who can make up a big drama in your head. Even if you have major issues in your relationship, this book will encourage you to question how you see yourself, your partner, and your relationship as a whole, enabling you to reach new insights about how to approach issues that are troubling you.<\/p>\n RELATED: Experts Reveal The 27 Golden Signs A Man Is Husband Material<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n 4. Anger points to unmet needs, not just conflict<\/p>\n “At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled”\u2015\u00a0Marshall B. Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life<\/a> \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cA book that teaches the reader how to communicate with someone who is angry or upset<\/a> or when we are angry and upset. Most of us immediately get scared or angry and speak harshly when faced with anger from another or when we are feeling angry ourselves.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n This book shows the reader how to ask questions and get to the root cause of the anger and suffering, enabling us to come to a satisfactory resolution for everyone involved,\u201d says Young.<\/p>\n RELATED: 21 Pieces Of Reddit Relationship Advice That Will Transform Your Love Life<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n 5. Don’t rush intimacy \u2014 timing matters<\/p>\n “Being intimate with a man before he starts to have feelings for you is not going to whet his appetite as much as wither it. Of course, after he\u2019s starting to fall in love with you, it\u2019s an entirely different story.” \u2015 Leil Lowndes, How to Create Chemistry with Anyone<\/a><\/p>\n \u201cThis quote is great \u2014 if well-established \u2014 advice, but the quote itself doesn\u2019t do the book justice. Leil Lowndes takes a completely different approach to intimacy\/love\/relationship advice \u2014 she goes scientific,\u201d says Young.\u00a0<\/p>\n Rather than trying to give you a pep talk as your favorite bartender or BFF would give it to you, she gives you scientific evidence that proves her advice to you. \u201cWhy won\u2019t intimacy\u00a0whet his appetite if it\u2019s too early in the relationship<\/a>?\u00a0<\/p>\n Because the \u2018extraordinary dopamine surge\u2019 that comes with male climax “becomes less sensitive to the identical stimulus the second time, third time, and so forth.\u201d And because the neurochemical state that comes from pure satisfaction is different than the state that comes from emotional and physical\u00a0satisfaction. Can\u2019t argue with that!\u201d says Farrugia.<\/p>\n RELATED: 6 Questions That Will Immediately Determine If What You’re Feeling Is Love, According To Psychology<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n 6. Small positives add up and matter more than you think<\/p>\n “Every positive thing you do in your relationship is good.” \u2015\u00a0John M. Gottman, PhD, The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work<\/a><\/p>\n “John Gottman has taken a scientific approach to working out why relationships work<\/a> and why they fail. His \u201clove lab\u201d experiments from the 70\u2019s are legendary.\u00a0<\/p>\n He invited couples to be part of his scientific experiments, where their interactions were analyzed, and then he kept in touch with the couples to determine which couples stayed together and which couples broke up. This book explains what to do and what not to do in order to make your relationship last. All backed up with science,” says Young.<\/p>\n RELATED: I’m A Relationship Coach Of 25 Years. Here Are The 5 Mandatory Qualities For A Happy Marriage.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n 7. Date who they are, not who you think they could be<\/p>\n “Dating someone\u2019s ‘potential’ is probably the biggest mistake women make in relationships and certainly the one that leads to our romantic downfall\u2026Once you\u2019ve unintentionally crushed a man\u2019s ego (read: once he decides that he doesn\u2019t want to reach the potential you have for him) it\u2019s hard for him to be excited about you anymore.” \u2015 Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola,\u00a0 It\u2019s Just a\u00a0Date<\/a><\/p>\n This is the best reality check for women \u2014 are you enamored with him, or with what you think he could become (by dating you)? \u201cIt\u2019s part of our romantic fantasy \u2014 we envision ourselves dating a man and transforming him into a greater version of himself<\/a>, one in which he fulfills all of his potential.\u00a0<\/p>\n However, Claire & Frank Underwood might be the only couple to have ever made this work (and does it really work?). The rest of us are just being delusional and unfair, and will likely end up dumped rather than becoming First Lady,\u201d says Farrugia.<\/p>\n![\"couple](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/we-pulled-best-relationship-advice-from-books-these-work-dont-settle-for-less.png\" "\\"we")
Miljan Zivkovic \/ Shutterstock<\/p>\n![\"woman](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/we-pulled-best-relationship-advice-from-books-these-work-not-your-job-like-me-its-mine.png\" "\\"we")
Yuri A \/ Shutterstock<\/p>\n![\"couple](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/we-pulled-best-relationship-advice-from-books-these-work-at-core-anger-need-fulfilled.png\" "\\"we")
Mladen Mitrinovic \/ Shutterstock<\/p>\n![\"woman](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/we-pulled-best-relationship-advice-from-books-these-work-being-intimate-with-man-before-he-falls-in-.jpeg\" "\\"we")
La Famiglia \/ Shutterstock<\/p>\n![\"couple](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/we-pulled-best-relationship-advice-from-books-these-work-every-positive-thing-you-do-good.png\" "\\"we")
Yuri A \/ Shutterstock<\/p>\n![\"couple](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/we-pulled-best-relationship-advice-from-books-these-work-dating-someones-potential-biggest-mistake.p.jpeg\" "\\"we")
Drazen Zigic \/ Shutterstock<\/p>\n