{"id":158572,"date":"2025-06-04T22:00:17","date_gmt":"2025-06-04T22:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/158572\/"},"modified":"2025-06-04T22:00:17","modified_gmt":"2025-06-04T22:00:17","slug":"edinburgh-school-friends-hail-kind-and-charming-sportsman-after-tragic-passing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/158572\/","title":{"rendered":"Edinburgh school friends hail ‘kind and charming sportsman’ after tragic passing"},"content":{"rendered":"

The friends <\/a>of a young Edinburgh man who was lost to suicide are ‘continuing to keep his legacy alive’.<\/p>\n

Ben Vessey was only 21-years-old when he took his own life, which school <\/a>friends Xander Mackay and Luca Fracassini said was ‘completely out of the blue’. Five years on, Xander says he thinks of Ben all the time.<\/p>\n

The trio met at Merchiston Castle School, and remained close friends after leaving. Now, Xander and Luca want to ensure that Ben’s friends and family <\/a>have a chance to stay in each other’s lives – and remember him.<\/p>\n

READ MORE:<\/b> Two Edinburgh schools to be renamed to ‘reduce stigma towards pupils’<\/a><\/p>\n

READ MORE:<\/b> Edinburgh fire crews race to Fort Kinnaird blaze as shops forced to close<\/a><\/p>\n

They feel that while young men are becoming better at opening up, there’s still work to be done. Xander and Luca have organised a fundraising event where a group will take on the seven hills of Edinburgh in memory of Ben.<\/p>\n

They’re looking to support Papyrus, an organisation which is dedicated to the prevention of suicide in young people. Speaking to Edinburgh Live, Xander, 26 said: “Ben was a supremely talented, vibrant, charming and caring young man whose kindness and humour touched all those who knew him.<\/p>\n

“He was fantastically cheeky, always quick with a joke and it was a guaranteed good time if you were going out with him. Also remembered by all at school as an incredible sportsman- a true athlete and a joy to watch whatever event he was taking part in!”<\/p>\n

Ben died on August 31, 2020 – in the midst of the pandemic. Xander admits that the loss ‘stays with him’.<\/p>\n

Sign up for <\/b>Edinburgh Live newsletters<\/b><\/a> for more headlines straight to your inbox<\/b><\/p>\n

“I think about him all the time,” He added.<\/p>\n

“I think obviously in the immediate aftermath and the first months to a couple of years, it was very, it was obviously very raw, it was very difficult.<\/p>\n

“I’m close with his parents, and try to keep them in my life and be in their life as much as possible. Ben was an only child, and he was adored by his parents. It was, naturally, extremely difficult for them.<\/p>\n

“They’d lost their pride and joy, the person that they loved the most. The one they had dedicated their lives around, and not having any other children just really compounded<\/p>\n

“The charity they chose, they do just fantastic work. We\u2019re also trying to keep Ben\u2019s memory alive, keep his spirit alive and keep his parents involved with his friends.”<\/p>\n

Xander has organised the walk for August 30 – which will be followed by a gathering at Heriot’s Rugby Club at Goldenacre with speeches to continue to celebrate Ben’s life.<\/p>\n

He continued: “It’s something that people do as an actual kind of race and run, and in one day you can walk up and down or run between the hills. In our case, we\u2019re not doing it as a run or a race.<\/p>\n

\"Ben<\/p>\n

Ben (right) with Luca -Credit:Xander Mackay<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re taking on the challenge as a walk, in a big group. It\u2019s really a time to remember.<\/p>\n

\u201cA chance to talk about Ben, and get old friends and family together.\u201d<\/p>\n

Four years ago, Xander and Luca organised a charity rugby match. They raised over \u00a350,000, and want to continue that success.<\/p>\n

They’re hoping to support Papyrus in their work, and feel there is still work to be done on breaking the stigma around mental health discussions.<\/p>\n

Xander added: “I think people are getting better, and young men are getting better, at opening up. The stigma surrounding speaking out is still prevalent, and I think that no matter who you are – speaking to someone is the most important step you can do.<\/p>\n

“Equally, it\u2019s a two-way street. I think people are getting better at playing an active role in looking out for their friends, families or loved ones. Looking out for things like isolating themselves, changes in their behaviour.<\/p>\n

Join <\/b>Edinburgh Live’s Whatsapp Community here<\/b><\/a> and get the latest news sent <\/b>straight to your messages.<\/b><\/p>\n

“Of course, it’s not always really obvious, and I must say in Ben’s case, it really wasn’t. We’d been with him 3 weeks prior, and he was on absolutely brilliant form, it really did come out of the blue.<\/p>\n

“It’s not a one size fits all, by any means, but I think really playing an active role in reaching out to those around you, checking in on your friends, never letting anyone suffer in silence, and for those who are struggling to remember that you’re not a burden.\u201d<\/p>\n

“I think people think that their worries or their troubles are their own problem, not someone else’s. It’s a devastating spiral you can get yourself into sort of, almost bordering on self-hatred and putting yourself down, and thinking that no one can really help.<\/p>\n

“When in reality, the first step is opening up, speaking to someone. Whether that be friends, family, or charities like PAPYRUS – they’ve got a brilliant helpline, which is one of the main things that they fundraise for.”<\/p>\n

You can help Xander and Luca with their fundraiser here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with their mental health you can call Samaritans on 116 123. You can also call Papyrus on 0800 068 41 41.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The friends of a young Edinburgh man who was lost to suicide are ‘continuing to keep his legacy…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":158573,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8816],"tags":[748,1102,6171,4884,67123,67125,67126,712,16,15,67124],"class_list":{"0":"post-158572","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-edinburgh","8":"tag-britain","9":"tag-edinburgh","10":"tag-friends","11":"tag-great-britain","12":"tag-luca-fracassini","13":"tag-merchiston-castle-school","14":"tag-papyrus","15":"tag-scotland","16":"tag-uk","17":"tag-united-kingdom","18":"tag-xander-mackay"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@uk\/114627348090888195","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158572","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=158572"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158572\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/158573"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=158572"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=158572"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=158572"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}