Anxiety is an asset that lingers in my personal branding kit. As a 45-year-old twice-divorced diabetic who doesn\u2019t own a home and can\u2019t have children, my inner voice is constantly suggesting I am not enough. Maybe it was my competitive upbringing where the family motto of \u201cplay to win, don\u2019t have fun\u201d was only partially a joke. <\/p>\n
Luckily, I found psychological resilience in an unexpected place: the poker table. Amid shuffling cards and faint whiffs of cigarette smoke, I learned to be in conversation with my inner voice, rather than fighting it.<\/p>\n
Like much of my corporate career in fratty boardrooms marketing alcohol and cannabis, the game is heavily male-dominated, with less than 10% of global players identifying as female. Although in casinos I\u2019m surrounded by women \u2014 masseurs, dealers and cocktail waitresses \u2014 they are catering to men rather than ante\u2019ing up against them. <\/p>\n
When I first began playing poker four years ago, it only heightened my nerves. My inner narrator, always abundant with self-doubt, suddenly gained even more fodder. The usual, What if I marry the wrong man again? suddenly competed with, Should I raise or call? Did that card help him or me? Is it better to fold? Am I allowed to take up space in this room? <\/p>\n
Despite my nerves, I had something to prove to the young girl inside me who was keenly aware there wasn\u2019t a place for her at every table. When I was growing up, my dad and brothers ante\u2019d up at our kitchen table for Texas Hold Em, while I was relegated to refilling snack bowls and changing the channel of sporting events simulcasted in the background. When life did give me a seat, I was outnumbered \u2014 a 30-something at a company offsite, one of 13 women out of 110 global marketers. <\/p>\n