{"id":181059,"date":"2025-06-13T12:25:10","date_gmt":"2025-06-13T12:25:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/181059\/"},"modified":"2025-06-13T12:25:10","modified_gmt":"2025-06-13T12:25:10","slug":"the-gp-thought-my-51-year-old-husband-had-depression-until-he-started-forgetting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/181059\/","title":{"rendered":"The GP thought my 51-year-old husband had depression until he started forgetting"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" width=\"646\" height=\"363\" src=\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/SEI_255300090-7327.jpg\" class=\"article-image wp-image-23399969\" alt=\"Natasha Young - Forget Me Not campaign\" decoding=\"sync\"\/><br \/>\n\t\tI want people to know that it could happen to anybody (Picture: Natasha Young)<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Well, it\u2019s confirmed,\u2019 the neurologist bluntly stated, \u2018Gary\u2019s got Alzheimer\u2019s.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>That was how we received the news in February 2022 of my husband\u2019s life-changing diagnosis \u2013 he was just 51 at the time, meaning it\u2019s classed as\u00a0young-onset.<\/p>\n<p>Gary couldn\u2019t believe it and was in floods of tears, saying he didn\u2019t want to become a burden and that he\u2019d understand if I wanted to leave him. I simply replied, \u2018Don\u2019t be daft, I\u2019m not going anywhere\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve known each other practically our whole lives.<\/p>\n<p>Gary and I actually grew up on the same street in the north-east English town of Berwick-upon-Tweed. We went to the same primary school, but he was four years above me so we never really spoke.<\/p>\n<p>\t\t<img width=\"646\" height=\"623\" src=\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/SEI_255281636-e22d-e1749744730493.jpg\" class=\"article-image wp-image-23398571\" alt=\"Natasha Young - Forget Me Not campaign\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"\/><br \/>\n\t\tGary couldn\u2019t believe it and was in floods of tears, saying he didn\u2019t want to become a burden (Picture: Natasha Young)<\/p>\n<p>\t\t\t\tSymptoms of early onset Alzheimer&#8217;s \t\t\t<\/p>\n<p>Young onset Alzheimer\u2019s tends to affect people in their 40s, 50s and early 60s. <\/p>\n<p>Early symptoms include: <\/p>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Confusion and disorientation <\/li>\n<li>Forgetting recent events or conversations<\/li>\n<li>Finding it harder to make decisions<\/li>\n<li>Mood changes <\/li>\n<li>Struggling to think of the right word <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>That is, until I was 23 in 1999 when we met properly as adults, while I was working in a local pub and he got a job as the doorman. There was an immediate attraction.<\/p>\n<p>Little did I know at the time that he\u2019d told his mates that he was going to make me his girlfriend. But they didn\u2019t believe he could, so they supposedly put a \u00a310 bet on!<\/p>\n<p>He asked me out on a date soon after and of course I said yes. We\u2019ve barely spent any days apart from each other ever since.<\/p>\n<p>We had our first child, Nathan, in 2001, then got married in 2007. Actually, his best man told the \u00a310 bet story in his speech, then paid up and gave us half of the note each to keep.<\/p>\n<p>We had our second child, Isla, in 2011 and Amelia three years later.<\/p>\n<p>Gary\u2019s always been a fitness fanatic \u2013 <a data-ico=\"hyperlink-article\" href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/tag\/run\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">running<\/a> and doing\u00a0CrossFit\u00a0almost every single day of the week. Throughout it all, he\u2019s been a supportive, loving, and very active dad. Our home is full of laughter.<\/p>\n<p>\t\t<img width=\"646\" height=\"471\" src=\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/SEI_255281705-94b7-e1749744416707.jpg\" class=\"article-image wp-image-23398591\" alt=\"Natasha Young - Forget Me Not campaign\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"\/><br \/>\n\t\tGary and Natasha with their daughters while on holiday (Picture: Natasha Young)<\/p>\n<p>Then around eight years ago \u2013 when Gary was 47 \u2013 I started to notice sporadic odd things happening. He\u2019d come home from work as a self-employed joiner and laugh off not being able to measure a door properly or read a tape measure.<\/p>\n<p>Once the lockdown hit in early 2020 and we were all forced to stay home, that\u2019s when I really noticed something was wrong. Gary was struggling with tasks he\u2019d usually ace \u2013 like building a summer house in our backyard \u2013 and he seemed quite down about it all.<\/p>\n<p>At the time, it was really difficult to get a doctor\u2019s appointment but when we finally did, the GP just thought it was anxiety and <a data-ico=\"hyperlink-article\" href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/tag\/depression\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">depression<\/a> so prescribed antidepressants. <\/p>\n<p>I had a gut feeling that it went deeper than that, but Gary tried them for about three months and gave up when we didn\u2019t see any improvement.<\/p>\n<p>He was then referred to a neurologist to get an MRI, which actually came back clear. A memory test (which involves remembering words after being distracted) was next and that\u2019s when alarm bells started ringing for the GP because Gary really struggled with it.<\/p>\n<p>\t\t<img width=\"646\" height=\"577\" src=\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/SEI_255281714-689c-e1749744949682.jpg\" class=\"article-image wp-image-23398542\" alt=\"Natasha Young - Forget Me Not campaign\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"\/><br \/>\n\t\tIn these early days, I naively thought that Alzheimer\u2019s is just when you forget things (Picture: Natasha Young)<\/p>\n<p>By the start of 2022 \u2013 almost two years since we first sought medical help \u2013 a lumbar puncture was performed to get the definitive <a data-ico=\"hyperlink-article\" href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/tag\/alzheimers\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Alzheimer\u2019s<\/a> diagnosis from the neurologist. And it hit us like a tonne of bricks, even though it did cross my mind as a possibility.<\/p>\n<p>I tried to put on a brave face, reassuring him that at least we knew what it was. I kept this up when telling our three children, which was really difficult for them to hear \u2013 especially our two youngest.<\/p>\n<p>In these early days, I naively thought that Alzheimer\u2019s is just when you forget things. But the reality has been so much different.<\/p>\n<p>At first, Gary was still quite self-sufficient \u2013 often making himself poached eggs on toast for breakfast. But now he struggles with tasks around the house that he used to do with ease, like mowing the lawn (it ends up uneven), or even making a bowl of cereal (the different components are confusing), or\u00a0diluting a glass of juice\u00a0(he can\u2019t quite get the proportions right).\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\t\t<img width=\"646\" height=\"465\" src=\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/SEI_255281638-ca3b-e1749745052192.jpg\" class=\"article-image wp-image-23398549\" alt=\"Natasha Young - Forget Me Not campaign\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"\/><br \/>\n\t\tGary Young swimming with his children (Picture: Natasha Young)<\/p>\n<p>Heartbreakingly, about six months ago, he forgot our daughters\u2019 names for the first time. They were devastated. They\u2019re only\u00a010 and 13.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Today, we try to keep a routine as much as possible. I run the bath for him every morning, but he\u2019ll ask me where it is. Then I\u2019ll make him a coffee before I go to work and his carer, Katy, arrives at 9am.<\/p>\n<p>She only used to come for a couple of hours, but a few scary incidents happened that forced us to reevaluate. Once, Gary tried to go for a <a data-ico=\"hyperlink-article\" href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/tag\/cycling\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">bike ride<\/a>, but ended up on the wrong side of a roundabout and down the A1.<\/p>\n<p>Another time, he went for a walk and got lost, so Katy now comes for six hours every weekday. Remarkably, Gary still loves keeping fit and going to\u00a0CrossFit, although he can\u2019t train as hard as he used to.<\/p>\n<p>\t\t<img width=\"646\" height=\"582\" src=\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/SEI_255281712-3c59-e1749745112234.jpg\" class=\"article-image wp-image-23398545\" alt=\"Natasha Young - Forget Me Not campaign\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"\/><br \/>\n\t\tI hope to keep Gary home with me for as long as possible, but for the moment we\u2019re just living day-to-day (Picture: Natasha Young)<\/p>\n<p>We also have a <a data-ico=\"hyperlink-article\" href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2024\/09\/23\/surprising-symptom-led-brothers-dementia-diagnosis-21642962\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Dementia<\/a> Adviser from Alzheimer\u2019s Society who comes and visits us every few months to see how we\u2019re getting on. It\u2019s a lifeline to know that they\u2019re just a phone call away if we ever need their help.<\/p>\n<p>Gary may have changed \u2013 he\u2019s lost interest in doing a lot of things and is now quite placid \u2013 but our family knows deep down that he still loves us all dearly. He also still loves to have a laugh, like chuckling when I fix up his clothes after he puts them on the wrong way: \u2018Eh, what am I like? How do you put up with us?\u2019<\/p>\n<p>\t\t\t\tLearn more about Alzheimer\u2019s Society\t\t\t<\/p>\n<p>Alzheimer\u2019s Society\u2019s Forget Me Not Appeal funds life-changing support and groundbreaking dementia research. Donate at\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/eur02.safelinks.protection.outlook.com\/?url=http%3A%2F%2Falzheimers.org.uk%2Fmetro&amp;data=05%7C02%7CAlessia.Armenise%40metro.co.uk%7C1c57b59e24fc472fa8cb08dda9aeb8f4%7C0f3a4c644dc54a768d4152d85ca158a5%7C0%7C0%7C638853290114777259%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&amp;sdata=DhX33eWmYoRILRiFOz95ly4afbaQlG%2FjHmuOK2oTo38%3D&amp;reserved=0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">alzheimers.org.uk\/metro<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>June marks Alzheimer\u2019s Society\u2019s Forget Me Not Appeal and l\u2019m wearing my badge to highlight how dementia affects families like ours. Last month, Katy and I were part of a team that walked 26 miles for the charity and have raised \u00a33,000 so far.<\/p>\n<p>I hope to keep Gary home with me for as long as possible, but for the moment we\u2019re just living day-to-day. It\u2019s impossible to predict how his Alzheimer\u2019s might progress so I don\u2019t really think there\u2019s any other way to be.<\/p>\n<p>At the end of the day, I want people to know that it could happen to anybody. Gary never smoked or did drugs, hardly ever drank alcohol, and was incredibly fit and healthy.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>His diagnosis turned our world upside down but there was no way I was going to turn my back on him. He\u2019s still the cheeky and fun-loving man I fell in love with \u2013 and I\u2019ve got my half of the \u00a310 note to prove it.<\/p>\n<p>As told to James Besanvalle<\/p>\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Do you have a story you\u2019d like to share? Get in touch by emailing <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2025\/06\/13\/gp-thought-51-year-old-husband-depression-started-forgetting-things-23397273\/mailto:jess.austin@metro.co.uk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">jess.austin@metro.co.uk<\/a>.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Share your views in the comments below.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"metro-more-link\">Arrow<br \/>\nMORE: <a data-ico=\"hyperlink-article\" href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2025\/06\/13\/married-husband-fell-love-kasey-23386706\/?ico=more_text_links\" class=\"\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">I married my husband \u2013 then we both fell in love with Kasey<\/a><\/p>\n<p class=\"metro-more-link\">Arrow<br \/>\nMORE: <a data-ico=\"hyperlink-article\" href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2025\/06\/12\/im-sons-full-time-carer-mum-manager-23396023\/?ico=more_text_links\" class=\"\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">I\u2019m a full-time carer for my son \u2013 the loneliness is overwhelming<\/a><\/p>\n<p class=\"metro-more-link\">Arrow<br \/>\nMORE: <a data-ico=\"hyperlink-article\" href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2025\/06\/12\/thought-couldnt-kids-miracle-mounjaro-baby-23385693\/?ico=more_text_links\" class=\"\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">I thought I couldn\u2019t have kids until my \u2018surprise\u2019 Mounjaro baby<\/a><\/p>\n<p>\t\t\t\tThe Slice<\/p>\n<p>Your free newsletter guide to the best London has on offer, from drinks deals to restaurant reviews.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I want people to know that it could happen to anybody (Picture: Natasha Young) \u2018Well, it\u2019s confirmed,\u2019 the&hellip;\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":181060,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4317],"tags":[1108,6961,105,388,218,455,16,15],"class_list":{"0":"post-181059","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-mental-health","8":"tag-alzheimers","9":"tag-first-person","10":"tag-health","11":"tag-lifestyle","12":"tag-mental-health","13":"tag-real-life","14":"tag-uk","15":"tag-united-kingdom"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@uk\/114676048029594529","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181059","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=181059"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181059\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/181060"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=181059"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=181059"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=181059"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}