{"id":197443,"date":"2025-06-19T15:21:13","date_gmt":"2025-06-19T15:21:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/197443\/"},"modified":"2025-06-19T15:21:13","modified_gmt":"2025-06-19T15:21:13","slug":"we-still-live-in-a-society-where-mens-feelings-and-emotions-are-often-suppressed-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/197443\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018We still live in a society where men\u2019s feelings and emotions are often suppressed\u2019 \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

Postnatal depression (PND) continues to be seen as a predominately female condition, with one in five mothers experiencing some level of anxiety, depression, or other mental health<\/a> issue in the first year post-partum. But fathers are also at risk, and may experience a level of mental health distress with feelings of overwhelm and irritability. This is often compounded by the fact that screening tools are specific to the mother, with struggling fathers rarely identified. <\/p>\n

Postnatal depression in fathers is vastly underestimated, with a low evaluation determining that 10 per cent of fathers experience mental health distress. The figure is likely to be higher. A father\u2019s risk factor increases by up to five times if their partner also experiences postnatal depression. <\/p>\n

Navigating this time of new parenthood<\/a> for couples is difficult enough as it is, without additional postnatal challenges.<\/p>\n

Fiona Reidy, a psychodynamic psychotherapist with Evidence-Based Therapy Centre<\/a> in Galway, works with couples where one or both have been diagnosed with PND often, but not always, linked to birth trauma experiences. <\/p>\n

\u201cPaternal postnatal depression (PPND) is not discussed enough,\u201d says Reidy. \u201cUnderstandably, stretched healthcare systems are focused on delivering the best care to mother and baby, which often unintentionally neglects the non-birthing partner or father in the process. There are no routine screenings for fathers and often signs of PPND can be missed by experienced professionals due to a lack of awareness and education on the symptoms.\u201d<\/p>\n

Reidy notes that we also \u201cunfortunately still live in a culture and society where men\u2019s feelings and emotions are often suppressed and some people can struggle to have the language to express what they are dealing with, such as the expectations on them as a father. This can be compounded by social norms of dad returning to work quickly as if everything goes back to \u2018normal\u2019 after two weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

Take into consideration also that there are \u201climited spaces\u201d for fathers to discuss the challenges they are experiencing and where \u201cdads and couples can come together to feel safe in discussing feelings of shame, guilt, and fear when they are expected to be \u2018happy\u2019.\u201d <\/p>\n

Reidy explains that when she works with new parents, together they consider the impact of the pregnancy, birth and parenting journey of both parents to uncover the stresses, fears, worries, and overwhelm they are experiencing.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis helps us to think about not just what is happening for them as parents, but about any history of trauma or emotional difficulty linked to pregnancy, birth, parenting and family more broadly,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n

\"FionaFiona Reidy, a psychodynamic psychotherapist with Evidence-Based Therapy Centre in Galway <\/p>\n

\u201cFor example, histories that include absent parents, miscarriages or other losses, mental health conditions in pregnancy, fertility challenges and the parent\u2019s own past experiences, especially from childhood, may unconsciously affect their responses to the baby.\u201d<\/p>\n

This approach works differently to what is considered general mental health support services which potentially focuses on symptoms and individual outcomes as everyone\u2019s experience and requirements are different. While one person may respond well to talk therapy, others may require support from the general practitioner or health visitor in terms of medication. <\/p>\n

The approach of Reidy and her team at EBTC recognises that couples or individual parents, regardless of gender, can be affected by post-partum depression due to a mix of biological, sociological, and psychological factors. <\/p>\n

\u201cBiological factors, particularly in the mother, are more widely understood,\u201d says Reidy. These include lack of sleep, drastic hormonal changes or genetic and family history. \u201cBut these could also impact a father, especially where pre-existing conditions such as withdrawal, anxiety or panic attacks are present.\u201d <\/p>\n

Additionally, Reidy recognises that sociological factors can affect a new parent\u2019s support system. In situations where there is no family close by, where there are increased financial or housing pressures, work related stress or the many other stressors that can occur throughout life, new parenthood becomes even more complicated. <\/p>\n

\u201cPsychologically, there are many factors that can influence PND as a result of a birth trauma, including the non-birthing partner\u2019s pre-existing mental health and personality,\u201d says Reidy. \u201cFor example, anxiety or perfectionism, low self-esteem, difficulty processing emotions, trauma history themselves or in their family.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

A lot of couples focus on the pregnancy and birth and don\u2019t have the time or space to prepare emotionally for the impact becoming parents will have on them<\/p>\n

\u2014 \u00a0Fiona Reidy<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Reidy explains that unprocessed feelings and experiences from their own birth and generational trauma about having children or becoming parents can be present and resurface, without the new parents even knowing it. The connection between the couple is also an important factor that can disrupt the dynamic of new parents, especially if the father witnesses a birth trauma which resulted in a threat to life. <\/p>\n

\u201cFor example, a mother under anaesthetic can be a physically and emotionally traumatic experience that needs to be processed after the birth,\u201d says Reidy. \u201cThis is often difficult on the father as the demands of a newborn baby, and the care that may be needed for the birthing partner, such as physical recovery post-surgery, take priority. Other day-to-day challenges such as feeling unprepared for the demands of parenthood, responding to the needs of the baby while having their own needs neglected, feeling left out of the bond between baby and mother, changes to the relationship between them and their partner before or after the baby is born can all become overwhelming.\u201d<\/p>\n

While the culture and social norms, along with limited paternal research, focus on maternal and infant care, couples can remain focused on each other and speak openly about their individual expectations. PND presents with persistent changes to mood, including irritability, anger, sadness, and low mood. A partner may have difficulty bonding with their baby, experience a loss of interest or a sense of presence, thoughts of self-harm, other intrusive thoughts particularly linked to the baby, a loss of usual cognitive functioning, and changes to eating and sleeping patterns. Being aware that these changes might occur can help to recognise the need for support early.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are overlaps and differences for moms and dads,\u201d says Reidy. \u201cSome of the things to watch out for with dads are detachment from the family, becoming emotionally withdrawn, unusually frustrated\/irritable, increased arguments or conflict between the couple or others. It can also present as increased risk-taking such as substance abuse.\u201d<\/p>\n

Reidy advises couples to share their experiences and expectations before their baby is born in an \u201chonest space for sharing their fears and challenges.\u201d In this way, couples may learn about what their partner expects to be challenging when the baby arrives. <\/p>\n

\u201cA lot of couples focus on the pregnancy and birth,\u201d says Reidy, \u201cand don\u2019t have the time or space to prepare emotionally for the impact becoming parents will have on them. Thinking about their needs as a couple and the change to this once baby arrives can also be important.\u201d<\/p>\n

[\u00a0Victoria Smurfit: \u2018Postnatal depression is very real. You feel crazy\u2019Opens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

For example, Reidy notes that changes to libido or interest in sex, and feelings of being left out, are all common experiences. <\/p>\n

Parenting is a major transition in a couple\u2019s life. Support is available, but having a \u201csafety plan\u201d, as Reidy suggests, will help couples when things get difficult. This could be a plan for when a partner needs physical or emotional support. Reidy also suggests that it is worth being aware of the possibility of PND and how they may support each other. <\/p>\n

\u201cGet help sooner rather than later,\u201d says Reidy. \u201cDon\u2019t wait it out for arguments to escalate and hope that it will resolve itself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"Victoria Smurfit: ‘Micromanaging your kids makes them useless. Same for men.’<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Postnatal depression (PND) continues to be seen as a predominately female condition, with one in five mothers experiencing…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":197444,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4317],"tags":[105,218,75763,16,15],"class_list":{"0":"post-197443","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-mental-health","8":"tag-health","9":"tag-mental-health","10":"tag-postnatal-depression","11":"tag-uk","12":"tag-united-kingdom"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@uk\/114710714248916445","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/197443","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=197443"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/197443\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/197444"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=197443"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=197443"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=197443"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}