In an interview with the Kyiv Independent during the Book Arsenal Festival<\/a>, the largest international literary event in Ukraine, Karpa reflected on the evolving roles of women in Ukrainian society and the military, the raw intensity of love and desire in times of crisis, and the emotional aftermath that will shape a new generation of Ukrainian storytellers.<\/p>\n This interview has been edited for length and clarity.<\/p>\n The Kyiv Independent: As someone who writes extensively about womanhood, how do you see gender roles in Ukraine?<\/strong><\/p>\n Irena Karpa:<\/strong> When I first started writing in my early 20s, it felt really rebellious to talk openly about female sexuality<\/a>, women\u2019s choices, and subjectivity \u2014 I\u2019m not sure if that\u2019s the right word in English, but you know what I mean. The idea that a woman isn\u2019t just a “nice lady,” a toy in a man\u2019s bedroom, or a decorative part of his life. For me, it was a challenge. I kept wondering: Why is it always the man who gets to choose? Even as a kid, that felt deeply unjust to me.<\/p>\n I grew up in the Carpathian Mountains, among the Hutsuls, and there was this awful saying: “An unbeaten woman is like a blunt tool \u2013 you can\u2019t harvest with it.” It\u2019s horrifying, right?<\/p>\n I always pushed back against that mindset. I told myself no man would ever touch me against my will or hurt me, even though that kind of behavior was often normalized in the patriarchal society around me.<\/p>\n So my writing became a form of resistance.<\/a> It was about young, brave, decisive women who wanted to make their own choices \u2014 who didn\u2019t want to be just someone\u2019s wife or mother or endlessly accommodating to others. Of course, that kind of writing wasn\u2019t always well-received.<\/p>\n Especially because if you don\u2019t win the so-called genetic lottery \u2014 being the stereotypical “ideal” Ukrainian woman \u2014 then it\u2019s even harder. I didn\u2019t fit that mold either.<\/p>\n So you have to find something else \u2014 you need to tap into a strong inner force to show the world who you really are. That\u2019s why I turned to alternative music. I couldn\u2019t see myself going into pop \u2014 I didn\u2019t fit the mold.<\/p>\n It was the same with literature. I didn\u2019t quite fit the typical profile there either. There weren\u2019t many women writing in the way I wanted to write. Probably the most prominent figure (in Ukrainian literature) was Oksana Zabuzhk<\/a>o \u2014 she still is. I read her work and thought, \u201cWow, you really can talk openly about sex.\u201d<\/p>\n Of course, she used different language \u2014 more literary terms for private parts and so on \u2014 but still, it was powerful. I remember one part that really struck me: she wrote about male arousal and a woman approaching him. I must\u2019ve been around 18 at the time when I read it, and I was stunned \u2014 not because it was the first sexual scene I\u2019d ever read. I had read (Guy de) Maupassant, for instance, since I grew up with a lot of French literature. And in the ’90s, we had this funny tabloid called \u201cPan plus Pani,\u201d which was full of erotic stories.<\/p>\n But Zabuzhko was different. She was older than my parents, and here she was, unapologetically writing about sex. I thought, \u201cWow, she\u2019s a woman and she can do this?\u201d That felt like permission \u2014 like she opened a door for the rest of us.<\/p>\n Then there were other writers \u2014 like Yuri Izdryk or Yuri Andrukhovych<\/a> \u00a0\u2014 who also wrote about the body and physical experiences, in very bold and different ways. Sure, there were patriarchal elements in some of their work, but I never felt like I had to accept “secondhand sex,” you know? Just because I\u2019m a woman doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m beneath a man. Never. It always felt equal \u2014 or at least, it depended on the person. If someone\u2019s clearly less intelligent than me, why should his opinion carry more weight just because he\u2019s a man? No way.<\/p>\n The Kyiv Independent: Do you feel that the war has shifted these patriarchal ideas about gender roles?<\/strong><\/p>\n Irena Karpa: <\/strong>Things are changing a lot now. In the beginning, if you listen to activists or women in the military<\/a> \u2014 like Maria Berlinska \u2014 she\u2019ll tell you how bad it was. There wasn\u2019t even basic underwear designed for female soldiers. The uniforms didn\u2019t fit: too tight around the chest, too loose elsewhere. There was nothing made for women \u2014 it was all designed with men in mind.<\/p>\n And even if a woman was trained to be a shooter, they\u2019d still list her as a kitchen worker. It was absurd.<\/p>\n But now, things are shifting. The last numbers I saw said there are around 75,000 women serving in the Ukrainian army,<\/a> and many of them hold commanding positions. So yes, the war is forcing these roles to evolve.<\/p>\n We\u2019re seeing incredible women rise \u2014 like Natasha, the woman who made headlines for shooting down a Russian missile. Before the full-scale war, she was a kindergarten teacher. That kind of transformation is powerful.<\/p>\n We\u2019re also hearing many more female voices \u2014 not just in the military but across the volunteer sector and civil society<\/a>. We still don\u2019t have enough women in politics, but there are many leading in business. Though even there, they face sexism. I have friends who head major companies, and they still get talked down to like they don\u2019t belong.<\/p>\n But it is changing \u2014 and it\u2019s changing fast.<\/p>\n I really hope I live to see the day when a woman becomes president of Ukraine. And in the U.S. too \u2014 we all had hopes. A woman of color in leadership should be normal by now. People need to accept that change is here. The time for sexism and racism should be over, but the fight goes on. And it will continue.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ukrainian Valkyries: Women embrace military training to learn to defend their homeland (Photos)<\/p>\n Since Russia launched its full-scale invasion of Ukraine in 2022 and Kyiv announced a general mobilization, thousands of Ukrainians have been called up to defend their homeland. In Ukraine, conscription is mandatory only for men. Despite that, more than 45,000 women have voluntarily joined the Armed Forces of Ukraine<\/p>\n The Kyiv Independent: As a storyteller, how do you see the ways in which wartime is reshaping intimacy between people?<\/strong><\/p>\n Irena Karpa:<\/strong> Life speeds up \u2014 and when it does, everything within it starts moving faster too. People get married quickly, and often very young, because you never know \u2014 tomorrow might not come. So why wait? Why postpone something meaningful, some experience you deeply want to live? You live fast because there’s no guarantee of later.<\/p>\n I really hope that kind of urgency won’t become the norm for the younger generation \u2014 but who knows anymore? In Ukraine today, no one is truly safe \u2014 not even in (western cities like) Lviv.<\/p>\n \nRelationships, especially in times like these, are about shared values. Not hormones. Not a piece of paper. But something deeper \u2014 something forged in the intensity of shared experience.\n <\/p>\n Back in my youth, we had the luxury of time \u2014 to fall in love slowly, to live with someone, to figure it out. Young people today don\u2019t have that. Over three years of their lives have already been stolen by war. Before that, it was Covid.<\/p>\n It\u2019s heartbreaking. They missed school, missed university. Now, they live in constant anxiety, in a permanent state of risk. So of course, they live fast. It\u2019s not surprising they get married quickly, divorce quickly.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve seen it firsthand. As a storyteller, I even wrote about one such woman in my (upcoming) book. She fled to France<\/a> with her teenage daughter. From that distance, she began to see her past relationships for what they were \u2014 dead long before she left. Sometimes, distance gives you clarity.<\/p>\n It\u2019s the same for a soldier. If his wife is emotionally disconnected \u2014 whether she\u2019s in Ukraine or abroad \u2014 and there’s a woman beside him, maybe a volunteer or fellow fighter, someone who shares his values in the here and now\u2026 naturally, a connection forms.<\/p>\n Because relationships, especially in times like these, are about shared values. Not hormones. Not a piece of paper. But something deeper \u2014 something forged in the intensity of shared experience.<\/p>\n It was like that during the Maidan revolution, too. So many couples got married<\/a> right there, in the tents. It was romantic, yes \u2014 but also fast, impulsive, driven by adrenaline and the sense that time was running out.<\/p>\n War is like that, but even more intense. Because when death is near, every emotion is amplified<\/a>. You feel things more deeply. Life becomes sharper, more vivid. Even the smallest decisions feel profound.<\/p>\n As a writer, I use those stories. I just finished writing a book called \u201cMy Boyfriend Comes Back on Sunday.\u201d It\u2019s dedicated to a different kind of hero \u2014 not the ones who act fast, but the ones who wait. And the ones who are waited for. The novel is about a long-term, long-distance relationship between two people who have never met \u2014 but they’re in love.<\/p>\n Imagine loving someone you may never actually see in person. And yet, people stay faithful, deeply committed to each other, even with that uncertainty. It’s another way of experiencing the war \u2014 through emotion, through longing, through love that exists in absence.<\/p>\n I find it incredibly compelling to explore these emotional landscapes \u2014 the different kinds of relationships, the transformations of the human soul under pressure<\/a>. The events of the war \u2014 the battles, the destruction \u2014 those are being documented everywhere already: in videos, in news reports, in documentaries. They don’t need me for that.<\/p>\n As a writer, what interests me is something else entirely: the passion, the sexuality, the bonds, the commitments \u2014 how all of that shifts and evolves during wartime.<\/p>\n The Kyiv Independent: We’re talking about how many things are changing and becoming more open \u2014 but what taboos do you think the next generation of Ukrainian authors will have to contend with?<\/strong><\/p>\n Irena Karpa: <\/strong>Oh, I think there will be a kind of emotional low tide after all this. I wonder what it will look like \u2014 like post-war fashion, for example, where designers use colors to compensate for the heaviness, like Dior with their floral dresses.<\/p>\n There will definitely be a new subculture born from this \u2014 a fresh expression of society. I don\u2019t know exactly what it will be yet, but, like after every war, there will be a very empty, quiet moment.<\/p>\n There will be grief \u2014 because right now, we don\u2019t even allow ourselves to fully mourn those we\u2019ve lost<\/a>, our loved ones. Afterward, society will have to adjust to many people living with the physical consequences of war \u2014 those with prosthetics, new faces of a changed community.<\/p>\n Even our perception of sexuality and what we consider sex symbols will shift. It\u2019s already changing right now.<\/p>\n Writers will need to explore all this \u2014 the loneliness many will feel, because a lot of people will be left alone.<\/p>\n I try to focus on brighter sides, but there will be a lot of PTSD<\/a> among civilians and especially those returning from the front lines. The adrenaline, the sense of purpose, the support of true friends \u2014 all of that will be gone, making everything feel dull and gray.<\/p>\n I believe this moment \u2014 this aftermath \u2014 will be a rich, complex subject for many writers to explore in the years ahead.<\/p>\n Note from the author:<\/p>\n Hi there, it’s Kate Tsurkan, thanks for reading my latest interview. It’s really important for me to do my own small part to promote Ukrainian authors in the English-speaking world. Irena Karpa is one of my favorites because she’s such a great role model for women \u2014 beautiful, strong, and fearless. If you like reading this sort of thing, please consider supporting us and becoming a member<\/a> of the Kyiv Independent today.<\/p>\n![\"Ukrainian](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/GettyImages-2004349151.jpg\")
Ukrainian writer Oksana Zabuzhko attends a press conference prior to the opening of the 74th Berlinale in Berlin, Germany, on Feb. 15, 2024. (John Macdougall \/ AFP via Getty Images)<\/p>\n![\"\"\/](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/valkiriya_training_2nd-day-5.jpg\")
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Relationships, love stories \u2014 it\u2019s all true. I know people who lived through three or even five love stories just during the war. And each time, it felt like: \u201cThis is the one.\u201d<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/GettyImages-2152964421.jpg\")
A bride and groom kiss during their wedding in Kharkiv, Ukraine, on May 18, 2024, amid the Russian invasion. (Kostiantyn Liberov \/ Libkos \/ Getty Images)<\/p>\n
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