{"id":212920,"date":"2025-06-25T10:44:17","date_gmt":"2025-06-25T10:44:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/212920\/"},"modified":"2025-06-25T10:44:17","modified_gmt":"2025-06-25T10:44:17","slug":"family-first-inbox-issue-949","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/212920\/","title":{"rendered":"Family First Inbox: Issue 949"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cLosing weight without exercise isn\u2019t impossible, but it is harmful\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Timely [Elevate \/ Issue 947]<\/strong><\/p>\n

Thank you, Rabbi Kahane, for the beautiful Torah thoughts from the Piasenczer. It couldn\u2019t have been more timely reading it on Friday night, trying to manage the fear of the oncoming Iran attack. I\u2019ve had this question about Sarah Imeinu for many years and it was extremely emotional hearing Hashem answer through your piece, and at such a raw time. It has been immensely helpful these last few days knowing that fear, heartache, and pain may be realities, but in no way take away from my emunah. I no longer feel guilt for these emotions. Instead, I\u2019m able to turn them into tefillos to Hashem. May all of Klal Yisrael stay safe.<\/p>\n

With immense gratitude,<\/p>\n

C.S. <\/p>\n

You Also Need to Exercise [Fitness IQ \/ Issue 947]<\/strong><\/p>\n

The article \u201cDoes Exercise Help You Lose Weight?\u201d cited real scientific\u00a0studies with the intent of supporting the claim that exercise doesn\u2019t significantly help with weight loss, and that the only real way to lose weight is by consuming fewer calories. But the results were sensationalized and misrepresented to fit the claim.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s true that adding an estimated 100-calorie burn exercise daily doesn\u2019t add 100 calories to your total daily energy expenditure. Your body can and does compensate by reducing other energy expenditure and becoming more efficient. But the amount of extra energy burned by exercise is limited, not nonexistent. Studies have consistently found that there is still an increase in total daily energy expenditure despite the body compensating. It\u2019s not as dramatic as it would hypothetically be without the constraint, but it\u2019s still significant.<\/p>\n

Also, more importantly, the researchers mentioned in the article measured energy expenditure adjusted for the amount of lean body mass to account for differences in body size. However, an individual person\u2019s body composition can change. Putting on more muscle through exercise increases how many total calories you burn, even if the total amount burned per amount of lean body mass stays the same.<\/p>\n

Aside from that, the article implies that the takeaway from the research data is that weight loss should be achieved solely by eating fewer calories. But the one form of exercise that\u2019s not recommended is jumping to conclusions based on one-sided evidence. Evidence needs to cover both sides of the claim. If you\u2019re going to challenge the so-called conventional wisdom when it comes to exercise, you should apply the same scrutiny to calorie-intake reduction.<\/p>\n

Similarly to the metabolic response to exercise, the body also decreases energy expenditure when calorie intake is cut. It\u2019s true that unlike with exercise, where there\u2019s a limit to how much you can add, you can simply cut more calories. There\u2019s a minimum amount of energy your body has to burn just to stay alive, and getting less forces your body to lose weight even after adapting.<\/p>\n

So losing weight is simple: Just eat less. What\u2019s not so simple is losing weight while also retaining your muscle mass, bone density, brain function, and will to live. If your goal is to lose weight without defeating the purpose by harming your health, you can\u2019t use the simple approach.<\/p>\n

For healthy weight loss, exercise is essential. In combination with good nutrition, exercise can preserve (or even improve) your muscle mass and bone density, which would otherwise decrease. Resistance training, such as weight lifting, is especially important and often neglected.<\/p>\n

As the old saying goes, you can\u2019t exercise your way out of a bad diet, but you also can\u2019t diet your way out of a lack of exercise. Losing weight without exercise isn\u2019t impossible, but it is harmful, and the body\u2019s defenses against that harm make it unsustainable for most people.<\/p>\n

R. Sabel<\/p>\n

Stop Cheating Single Girls [The Third Step \/ Issue 947]<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m a single girl who joined a well-known, respected organization two years ago. When I started, I had a hard time negotiating my salary, so I accepted a bit less than I felt I deserved, with the plan to ask for a raise after a year. That\u2019s exactly what I did. I was promised a decent raise \u00a0\u2014 still a little less than what most girls my age were getting paid, but I was willing to accept that.<\/p>\n

Around the same time, my coworker\u00a0\u2014 who is two years younger than me and works fewer hours\u00a0\u2014 had just gotten married. She also asked for a raise. Not only did she receive significantly more than I did, but she also got it much faster. (Yes, that actually happens here.)<\/p>\n

Every time someone here jokes about gender discrimination, I continue the joke by saying, \u201cIt\u2019s not gender discrimination\u00a0\u2014 it\u2019s single discrimination!\u201d<\/p>\n

When single women like me ask for a raise, I can just imagine the unspoken thoughts going through our boss\u2019s head: Why does she need the money? She\u2019s not married….<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong\u00a0\u2014 I understand that married women need raises and support. But we single girls also need it.<\/p>\n

This topic really bothers me because it feels like if I don\u2019t have a sheitel on my head, I\u2019m automatically worth less. Just because I haven\u2019t found my bashert yet, does that make me less deserving?<\/p>\n

We all know prices are going up. Life is expensive. And contrary to what some may assume, our parents don\u2019t necessarily support us. On top of that, this is the time I should be saving for marriage\u00a0\u2014 but how am I supposed to save anything if I\u2019m not paid fairly?<\/p>\n

What\u2019s going on here? In the professional or non-Jewish world, this kind of thing would never fly. Are we really saying that if we want to be treated fairly, we need to go against our hashkafos and work in environments that don\u2019t align with our values\u00a0\u2014 just so we won\u2019t be hurt?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s time to stop cheating single girls out of what they deserve.<\/p>\n

An Underpaid Girl<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Second Guessing Responses<\/strong><\/p>\n

Last week:<\/p>\n

Guess you\u2019ll have to make your own babka. Send me a pic! Ahuva texts me.<\/p>\n

Oh, this is too awkward. What\u2019s going on in her head? Is she upset at Shneur? Does she think Akiva was right? Wrong? Is she upset at me?<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t reply, because I don\u2019t know what to say.<\/p>\n

The next day, she texts me her recipe, and I type a funny message and am about to press send when Shneur comes out of the study, muttering to himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s so funny?\u201d he asks.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust something Ahuva said,\u201d I say, gauging his reaction.<\/p>\n

He doesn\u2019t answer, just shrugs, but I can tell it bothers him.<\/p>\n

What exactly am I supposed to do here?<\/p>\n

My closest friend\u2019s husband and my husband aren\u2019t speaking. Ahuva clearly doesn\u2019t want to get swept up in this drama. Should I support my husband by not talking to Ahuva as long as Shneur and Akiva are not speaking? Or can Ahuva and I carry on and hope the men will work it out?<\/p>\n

I stare at the babka recipe, eyes glazed. Both options make me feel yuck.<\/p>\n

Stay in Your Lane<\/strong>Rivky Tiefenbrunner, Antwerp<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m a big believer in staying out of other people\u2019s arguments.\u00a0It\u2019s really tough, but Chaya shouldn\u2019t have to get dragged into her husband\u2019s fight. That\u2019s usually how these things blow up, right? Everyone chimes in, and suddenly it\u2019s way bigger than it ever needed to be. Just continue your friendship with Ahuva and hope your husbands can sort things out on their own.<\/p>\n

Status Quo<\/strong>Y. Goldberg, Boca Raton, FL<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t burn your bridges!\u00a0Chaya should be sympathetic to Shneur and validate his hurt feelings and frustration. But at the end of the day, they do plan on continuing in the business and will need to maintain their relationship with Akiva and Ahuva for the future. Chaya should explain to Shneur that she\u2019s on his side and understands him, but the dust will settle, time will pass, and they will all need to move forward. For the good of the business and family and working relationships, it\u2019s best for her and Ahuva to remain friends at this point.<\/p>\n

Just a Blip<\/strong>S.P., Chicago, IL<\/strong><\/p>\n

Shneur makes it clear that he\u2019s not done with his partnership, he\u2019s only not being involved in the summer program.\u00a0But he plans on joining Akiva for the Succos program, when things are back to the way he likes it. I think it\u2019s fair to keep on maintaining the friendship with Ahuva given these circumstances. Especially since if all works out, they\u2019ll be back together very soon!<\/p>\n

It Will Blow Over<\/strong>Morah Faige<\/strong><\/p>\n

Okay Chaya, you definitely have a situation here. However, it seems to me it only has to escalate into a bigger one if you allow it to. True, Shneur and Akiva had a fallout. It will undoubtedly repair itself, hopefully without too much damage being done.<\/p>\n

It was strictly a work-related quarrel, therefore it\u2019s really unnecessary and silly for the wives to get pulled in. I think it\u2019s perfectly fine continuing your friendship with Ahuva, whether it\u2019s texting or schmoozing on the phone. Getting together at each other\u2019s homes now would be more problematic and uncomfortable. Your husband seems like a nice and responsible spouse who takes care of his family\u2019s needs both physically and emotionally. He wants you to be happy and probably wouldn\u2019t want you to lose a friend over this.<\/p>\n

I really believe when both your husbands see how the two of you are moving on, it will inevitably calm things down between them. The more \u201cnormal\u201d you act and more casually you treat the problem, the quicker things will blow over. You can have a short but supportive talk with your husband about your plans.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 949)<\/p>\n

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