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Lucinda Bray has lost bowel control, meaning she has faecal accidents when she’s least expecting itCredit: Beth Sunners<\/p>\n
The smell that followed left Lucinda certain she\u2019d had a faecal<\/a> accident – with no warning, and no clue why.<\/p>\n \u201cI remember thanking technology for it being a Teams chat and not an in person meeting and the relief no one else could smell what I could was huge.\u201d<\/p>\n When the meeting finished, Lucinda showered and threw away the clothes she was wearing and the cushion she\u2019d been sitting on.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cThere was no sign anything had gotten to the cushion but I was paranoid there would be a smell,\u201d she recalls. <\/p>\n \u201cNobody else had any idea what happened but I was terrified of it happening again. I avoided going for in-person meetings for a while after that.\u201d<\/p>\n But it wasn\u2019t the first time Lucinda had an accident, and it won\u2019t be the last.<\/p>\n She is one of around 6.5 million people in the UK who experience bowel incontinence<\/a>, according to Bladder & Bowel UK.\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n The figures are even higher when it comes to urinary incontinence<\/a> which affects around 14 million people.<\/p>\n Dr Masarat Jilani, Resident Doctor at Jude<\/a>, says: \u201cFaecal incontinence is when someone loses control of their bowel movements, which can mean small leaks or full loss of control.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s also more common than people think but is unfortunately rarely talked about due to embarrassment.\u201d<\/p>\n Emotional Gemma Collins reveals horror of wetting herself in public as \u2018flood gates\u2019 opened on a trampoline<\/p>\n Lucinda\u2019s condition has cast a shadow over everything. Work, holidays, dating, and even taking her child to the school gates are all a dread for Lucinda, who has become isolated in fear of leaking.<\/p>\n \u201cI think people think faecal incontinence is what happens when you actually do a poo in your underwear but mine\u2019s been more about leaking,\u201d says Lucinda.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cImagine having diarrhoea<\/a>, the really water kind, that has a much more potent odour than solid poo, which is bad enough.\u201d<\/p>\n It means every day of Lucinda\u2019s life, she lives in fear of an accident.<\/p>\n Currently she it happens every couple of months. And when it does occur, the persistent odour puts a halt to her day.<\/p>\n She talks about one accident she had on the school run, saying: \u201cThere\u2019s a leak, I\u2019m wearing a pad, it should be fine. I can feel all the other parents looking at me, I feel like I can see them wrinkling their noses.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cAnd then I have to walk home again and it chaffs and I can smell it, so others must be able to too.\u00a0So I go and clean myself up and start the day again.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cBut now I think all the parents I passed know. And I\u2019m anxious about going back, thinking they\u2019re all talking about me.<\/p>\n \u201cBut I\u2019m single parent there\u2019s no choice. I should be able to manage walking my kid to school, it\u2019s less than half a mile.\u201d<\/p>\n Lucinda hopes that by sharing her experience, the subject becomes less taboo.<\/p>\n I have to use an irrigation device daily that takes around 30mins in the morning. It sounds and smells horrendous. My poor son has to hold his nose to brush his teeth an hour later.<\/p>\n Lucinda<\/p><\/blockquote>\n \u201cIt\u2019s impossible to underestimate how much it affects my life,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m a managing director of a company so I can come home and change my clothes if it happens at work but having to factor it into everything I do is really hard.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cYou feel like you can\u2019t get the smell off too even when I\u2019ve showered and changed clothes.<\/p>\n \u201cI keep a change of clothes in my car at all times now too after an incident at a motorway services, before I had reached out for help.<\/p>\n \u201cI was driving for a couple of hours on my way to a work event, my stomach was getting sore. It felt like trapped wind,<\/a> but, as anyone that has ever had diarrhoea before will know, that\u2019s not safe assumption!\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cSo I went to the next services and as soon as I stood up out of the car, I could feel myself leaking.<\/p>\n 3<\/p>\n The mum-of-one is unable to date, saying the irrigation she needs to do every morning ‘smells horrendous’ – and she kept having to think about nearby toilets on datesCredit: Beth Sunners 3<\/p>\n Lucinda is speaking out about her experience to break the taboo – she is one of around 6.5 million people in the UK who experience bowel incontinence, according to Bladder & Bowel UKCredit: Beth Sunners<\/p>\n \u201cI dashed inside to the toilet, thankfully I have a radar key so was able to access the disabled toilets, and it had started running down the inside of my legs.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t have a change of clothes with me and just had to wipe up what I could.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cMy trousers weren\u2019t soaked through, but there was residue on the inside and it has a distinct smell, even after wet wipes.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI turned around and went home. This is one of the reasons try to avoid big conferences. The travel there and then all the sitting in the same position, I worry what will happen when I stand.\u201d<\/p>\n ‘Can you imagine leaking poo during sex?’<\/p>\n Dr Jilani says a lot of people live with the condition for far too long before seeking help.\u00a0 But he adds: \u201cIncontinence is treatable and often manageable.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cThe right treatment depends on the cause, so getting advice early really matters.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cPelvic floor physiotherapy<\/a> is a great first step.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cLifestyle changes, medication, bladder or bowel training, and in some cases surgery can all help.\u201d<\/p>\n Lucinda\u2019s incontinence started in 2018, but it wouldn\u2019t be until 2022 that she asked her GP for specialised incinonntece helps.<\/p>\n She says: \u201cI have a device I\u2019ve been given by the hospital that basically flushes out my bowel so I can go on about the day and not worry about leaking.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI have to do a procedure every morning on myself that\u2019s like a colonic irrigation.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cIt does still happen sometimes though, so there is still a paranoia there.\u201d<\/p>\n It makes dating impossible.<\/p>\n What are the signs of bowel incontinence?<\/p>\n Bowel incontinence is when you cannot control when you poo. See a GP if you think you have bowel incontinence as there are treatments that can help.<\/p>\n You might have bowel incontinence if you cannot control when you poo. Symptoms of bowel incontinence include:<\/p>\n See your GP if you think you might have bowel incontinence, or you have changes in your poo that are not getting better.<\/p>\n They might examine you by feeling your tummy, feeling inside your bottom or asking for a poo sample. They might also refer you for more tests, such as blood tests or an ultrasound scan.<\/p>\n \u201cTo be able to go two to three months without experiencing any leaking, I have to use an irrigation device daily that takes around 30mins in the morning.<\/p>\n \u201cIt sounds and smells horrendous. My poor son has to hold his nose to brush his teeth an hour later.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cCan you imagine getting to the point of someone staying over and the options for the day ahead are an hour bathroom routine that will put anyone off their food for a day, never mind anything romantic, or risk stomach pains and an actual pooy leak at somepoint in the day?\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s not touching on how actually having sex impacts everything. There\u2019s pain for one thing, that\u2019s mostly what ended my last relationship.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cAnd now I have a huge fear of having some kind of accident. Can you imagine leaking poo during sex? Would you ever want to go near that person again?\u201d<\/p>\n I used to be embarrassed about it and hated talking about it but I know from support groups I\u2019m not alone.<\/p>\n Lucinda<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Lucinda\u2019s last relationship was in 2021, before she had reached full incontinence. But the issue was already taking it\u2019s toll.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cMy main issues were stomach pains, bloating and constipation,\u201d Lucinda says.<\/p>\n \u201cI was put on a lot of laxatives and had to start daily enemas. Days became about where and when I could use a toilet.<\/p>\n \u201cThey were very caring and understanding but we were both single parents so it was hard enough to find time as it was, without needing to plan toilet access.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve decided I won\u2019t have a relationship. It\u2019\u2019s too difficult for people to accept, even my own family find it hard to talk about.\u201d<\/p>\n Common causes of incontinence<\/p>\n Dr Jilani says childbirth <\/a>is a common cause of both urinary and faecal incontinence.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cEither type of incontinence [urinary or bowel] can be caused by weak pelvic floor muscles, nerve damage, or pressure from things like childbirth or surgery,\u201d he says.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cCauses can include muscle or nerve damage, constipation <\/a>and bowel conditions. Conditions like MS<\/a>, prostate issues, and chronic constipation and lifestyle habits can also play a role. Often, it\u2019s a mix of factors, so getting properly assessed is crucially important.\u201d<\/p>\n Lucinda doesn\u2019t know the cause of her incontinence.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI was told when it first started happening around 2018 it was down to childbirth but my son was born in 2016 so I don\u2019t think it was that,\u201d she says.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cInitial investigations found a small bowel prolapse but by 2019 I couldn\u2019t evacuate my\u00a0bowels unless I did it manually.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve been offered surgery, I\u2019ve had MRIs, X-rays\u2026 I\u2019ve had what\u2019s called a defecating proctogram but there\u2019s no specialist that\u2019s been able to tell me what the cause is.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve even been told it could be down to a genetic condition too but I\u2019m hoping one day I\u2019ll have an answer as to what\u2019s caused it so I can get it fixed.\u201d<\/p>\n While Lucinda is still under investigation, she can\u2019t access the right treatment that will cure her condition.<\/p>\n \u201cThe next investigation is an internal exam under anaesthetic so I\u2019m hoping that\u2019ll give me some answers,\u201d she says.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI used to be embarrassed about it and hated talking about it but I know from support groups I\u2019m not alone. I just wish I could have it fixed though.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"LUCINDA Bray was on a Microsoft Teams call when she felt a warm sensation between her legs. \u201cI…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":242757,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[105,209,210,16,15],"class_list":{"0":"post-242756","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-health","8":"tag-health","9":"tag-longtail","10":"tag-mental-health-and-illness","11":"tag-uk","12":"tag-united-kingdom"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@uk\/114806489486838944","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/242756","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=242756"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/242756\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/242757"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=242756"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=242756"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=242756"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n
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