{"id":266398,"date":"2025-07-16T10:48:16","date_gmt":"2025-07-16T10:48:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/266398\/"},"modified":"2025-07-16T10:48:16","modified_gmt":"2025-07-16T10:48:16","slug":"sarah-vine-the-difference-between-william-and-harry-is-that-one-has-kate-to-soothe-his-mental-anguish-the-other-has-meghan-to-rub-salt-into-his-wounds","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/266398\/","title":{"rendered":"SARAH VINE: The difference between William and Harry is that one has Kate to soothe his mental anguish… the other has Meghan to rub salt into his wounds"},"content":{"rendered":"

There are many practical \u2013 and constitutional \u2013 reasons why it makes sense for the Palace to explore a rapprochement with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex<\/a>.<\/p>\n

As A. N. Wilson argued so cogently in yesterday\u2019s Daily Mail, \u2018fractured dynasties do not survive\u2019, and when the crown eventually passes to Prince William<\/a>, it would be infinitely better if Harry and Meghan were inside the tent rather than on the outside causing mayhem.<\/p>\n

But there are multiple aspects to this royal saga, and the real difficulty \u2013 for everyone concerned \u2013 is going to be separating the personal from the public.<\/p>\n

The late Queen, of course, was brilliant at this.<\/p>\n

In many ways, it was the secret of her remarkable success as monarch, and one of the main reasons she left the institution in such good nick, despite all the setbacks she faced during her long reign.<\/p>\n

Like many of her generation, she was good at compartmentalising: she set boundaries and stuck to them.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t that she didn\u2019t feel things deeply; indeed, she was a highly sensitive woman. It\u2019s just that she understood when to put her emotions to one side, and did her utmost not to let them cloud her judgment. The same cannot be said of her children and grandchildren.<\/p>\n

At 76, Charles may now be the very personification of royal respectability, but as a prince he was, to put it bluntly, a hot mess.<\/p>\n

\"Charles\u00a0may <\/p>\n

Charles\u00a0may have matured into a wise and thoughtful monarch but when he was the same age as Prince Harry (now 40), he was still working through an awful lot of stuff, writes Sarah Vine<\/p>\n

No one likes to mention it any more because, well, he\u2019s the King, but in his day he arguably inflicted as much damage \u2013 if not more \u2013 on the reputation of the Royal Family as his younger son has in recent years.<\/p>\n

Charles in the 1990s and 2000s did not exactly cover himself in glory.<\/p>\n

There was his flagrant infidelity (including that unfortunate telephone conversation in which he expressed a desire to be reincarnated as a sanitary product); his infamous, meddling \u2018black spider\u2019 letters to ministers and others; and his frankly cruel treatment of Princess Diana, who had been little more than a child when he married her.<\/p>\n

He may have matured into a wise and thoughtful monarch \u2013 and, yes, Camilla has worked tirelessly to earn the love and respect of the British people. But when King Charles was the same age as Prince Harry (now 40), he was still working through an awful lot of stuff.<\/p>\n

If one were to believe in karma, as the King reputedly does, you might say Prince Harry is working through his own \u2018stuff\u2019, too \u2013 only, in many ways, what he has to deal with is harder than anything Charles ever faced.<\/p>\n

As mere boys, both Harry and William suffered a deep trauma with the sudden death of their mother \u2013 and with the eyes of the world fixed upon them. It was inevitable that sooner or later all that, and much else, would come out in the wash.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t say this by way of justifying Harry\u2019s recent behaviour, or the agonies he has put his family through.<\/p>\n

But it does explain a lot of his inner rage and resentment, particularly towards his father and stepmother.<\/p>\n

\"When <\/p>\n

When they were both boys, William was famously protective of his younger sibling, while also dealing with his own loss<\/p>\n

\"Kate <\/p>\n

Kate has, quite simply, been William\u2019s strength and stay\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"Sadly, <\/p>\n

Sadly, the Duchess of Sussex seems to have had the opposite effect on Prince Harry<\/p>\n

These are complex, deep-seated emotional wounds that may well take a lifetime to heal, if they ever will.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why, fundamentally, taking steps to welcome the wayward duke back into the family is the right thing. When someone is in as much pain as Harry clearly is, they lash out at anyone within reach, especially those tied to them by blood.<\/p>\n

But if you can grab them and hold them to your heart, show them the love and understanding they need, soothe their hurt with the balm of forgiveness, you can perhaps help them begin to move forwards.<\/p>\n

Having been there myself, I know it\u2019s not an easy process, and it requires a lot of compromise \u2013 which can be very hard when terrible things have been said and done. Both sides must be able to let go with love. And that\u2019s a big ask.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s an especially big one for the other key player in this family drama: Prince William.<\/p>\n

He is arguably the real injured party for the simple reason that, while some of Harry\u2019s anger towards his father may be justified because of what happened with his late mother, he has no earthly right to resent his brother \u2013 or, for that matter, his poor sister-in-law.<\/p>\n

The Prince of Wales is just as scarred as Prince Harry \u2013 possibly more so since, when they were both boys, William was famously protective of his younger sibling, while also dealing with his own loss.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what makes Harry\u2019s treatment of William and Kate so painful \u2013 and so hard to forgive.<\/p>\n

And yet William has it in him, I\u2019m sure, for the simple reason that, like his late grandmother, he does understand how to marshal his emotions.<\/p>\n

Instead of indulging his pain, feeding off it even, as Harry has done, he seems to have mastered it, channelling it into his royal roles and his family.<\/p>\n

Then again, he had slightly better luck \u2013 or judgment \u2013 than his brother, in that he had the good sense to marry the Princess of Wales.<\/p>\n

Without her stabilising and steadfast presence, who knows where he might be? As the late Queen said of Prince Philip, Kate has, quite simply, been William\u2019s strength and stay.<\/p>\n

Which is possibly why he is so furious with his brother for all that he has said and done to undermine her, especially given her cancer diagnosis.<\/p>\n

Sadly, the Duchess of Sussex seems to have had the opposite effect on Prince Harry.<\/p>\n

Instead of helping him heal his emotional wounds, she seems to have re-opened them \u2013 or even rubbed salt in them, some might say.<\/p>\n

Instead of encouraging him to shape his own identity within the Royal Family, she has helped him turn his back on it. Which might have been fine if together they had embarked on something truly life-affirming. But they didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

They\u2019ve walked away, but they keep looking over their shoulders. They are obsessed with the very thing they supposedly hate, and that\u2019s never a good frame of mind to be in.<\/p>\n

Every venture the duke and duchess have undertaken since their departure has revolved around their royal status.<\/p>\n

Just look how Meghan reminded viewers on her Netflix series that she\u2019s \u2018Sussex now\u2019 \u2013 so blinded by her own ambition that she can\u2019t even see how contradictory that sounds.<\/p>\n

Meghan, you left to get away from the Royal Family, yet you can\u2019t stop talking about how royal you are. That\u2019s not \u2018freedom\u2019, it\u2019s a fixation.<\/p>\n

As for Harry, he\u2019s learned an important life lesson: you can\u2019t outrun your demons.<\/p>\n

If you are miserable, you will be miserable wherever you go, whether it\u2019s a cottage on the Windsor estate or a mansion in Montecito.<\/p>\n

But at least at Windsor he was at home, with a clearly defined role, in a land whose people liked and understood him. Now he\u2019s lost and rudderless, with no obvious employment other than that of walker to his rather pushy wife.<\/p>\n

Whatever happens, the King and the Prince of Wales must proceed with caution.<\/p>\n

Trust and respect are fragile commodities: easily broken and hard to mend.<\/p>\n

The rift between Harry and his family may never quite be closed, but if all parties can take a leaf out of the late Queen\u2019s book and set aside their emotions and differences for the greater good, then maybe, over time, the wounds will start to heal.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"There are many practical \u2013 and constitutional \u2013 reasons why it makes sense for the Palace to explore…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":266399,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7708],"tags":[7709,7714,7713,92,533,447,2832,532,2831,7710,519,448,15069,7711,7712],"class_list":{"0":"post-266398","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-royals","8":"tag-british-royal-family","9":"tag-catherine","10":"tag-catherine-middleton","11":"tag-dailymail","12":"tag-kate-middleton","13":"tag-prince-harry","14":"tag-prince-of-wales","15":"tag-prince-william","16":"tag-princess-of-wales","17":"tag-royal-families","18":"tag-royal-family","19":"tag-royals","20":"tag-sarah-vine","21":"tag-uk-royal-family","22":"tag-william"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@uk\/114862523156761930","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/266398","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=266398"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/266398\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/266399"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=266398"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=266398"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=266398"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}