MISS MANNERS by Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin<\/p>\n
DEAR MISS MANNERS:<\/b> I was on a tennis team and was eliminated during a tournament. I was supposed to play two matches: I played one and won, but then got injured and bowed out of my second match. I then recovered, but still didn\u2019t get to play in the remaining matches. <\/p>\n
We had a very strong team, so I knew I wouldn\u2019t play much, but thought I would at least get the required two matches. The captain had indicated that she was going to play me, but then she didn\u2019t. I\u2019m not a bad player, so I am not sure why. <\/p>\n
We ended up going to the playoffs, and again the captain didn\u2019t put me in, which basically eliminated me from further play. It was very painful and hurtful and unnecessary, because even if I had played and lost, the team would still have gone to the playoffs. So I had words with the captain and then later apologized. <\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t hear anything from the team for a while, and decided to go to a different team for a different age bracket. I am officially still on my original team, but was never invited to anything. Then out of the blue, I received an invitation to a party for the team as they prepare for sectionals, which I can\u2019t play in because I only played once. <\/p>\n
I am in a quandary as to how to respond. If I\u2019d gotten my two matches in, I could just go to the party and have fun, but there is so much pain at my elimination that I truly don\u2019t know how to respond. <\/p>\n
If I don\u2019t go, it will look one way, and if I do, I don\u2019t know how that will look. <\/p>\n
GENTLE READER: <\/b>The last time Miss Manners checked, tennis was played with a single ball, so let\u2019s try and keep our eyes on that and cut out some of the weaving back and forth. <\/p>\n
She understands your frustration with how this season went. But she expects what you are really wondering is how to fit in better with the team, so that next season goes better. <\/p>\n
The problem you are having is that your teammates are tired of hearing about the game you did not play. If you can attend the party, be charming and tell everyone else how well they played, you should go. If your only topic is going to be your missed game, then thank the captain for the invitation but stay home.<\/p>\n
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/p>\n
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