{"id":293559,"date":"2025-07-26T15:04:18","date_gmt":"2025-07-26T15:04:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/293559\/"},"modified":"2025-07-26T15:04:18","modified_gmt":"2025-07-26T15:04:18","slug":"as-an-american-in-scotland-i-know-we-need-many-things-but-donald-trump-isnt-one-of-them-krystal-evans","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/293559\/","title":{"rendered":"As an American in Scotland, I know we need many things \u2013 but Donald Trump isn\u2019t one of them | Krystal Evans"},"content":{"rendered":"

As an American comedian living in Scotland, I\u2019m often asked: \u201cKrystal, why don\u2019t you talk about Trump more on stage? I\u2019ll bet that subject is rife for comedy!\u201d Yesterday he was in Washington, today the schedule says Scotland<\/a>. I know this visit isn\u2019t a personal attack on me, but woo boy, it sure does feel like it. I live in Edinburgh. But I didn\u2019t come to Scotland so I could be around the most annoying, unhinged, rich Americans in existence.<\/p>\n

There are many reasons I don\u2019t tend to talk about Donald Trump<\/a> that much on stage. For one, that 10 to 20 seconds in the morning before I remember who occupies the position of president of the United States is honestly the best part of my day. And those few precious moments I savour will not be present for me over the next four days, because the aura of Trump\u2019s presence will permeate my consciousness, not to mention all the major news outlets, with everyone giving their very strong opinions on this man who has managed to inflame humanity more than anyone in all of our collective living memory. And what\u2019s more, he doesn\u2019t seem to care.<\/p>\n

But it sure does feel like he wants Scotland<\/a> to love him, doesn\u2019t it? He desperately wants to be embraced as Scottish. His mother was born on the Isle of Lewis, so I suppose that\u2019s something.<\/p>\n

But the truth is, he\u2019s just like any other American who comes to Scotland on holiday. I love asking American tourists what brings them to Scotland, because they always say the same thing. \u201cWell, actually you see \u2026 I\u2019m Scottish. And I\u2019m tracing my roots.\u201d And I always say to them: \u201cWow. You should definitely tell every Scottish person you meet that. Watch out, because you\u2019re going to be so popular.\u201d<\/p>\n

If I had to find an upside to Trump visiting, and there aren\u2019t many, I\u2019d say at least it makes me look good in comparison. It\u2019s the same reason I love having English people at Scottish gigs. I once dated a Scottish guy who said to me: \u201cDon\u2019t worry Krystal, I hate the English way more than I hate the Americans.\u201d What an absolute sweetheart.<\/p>\n

And the thing is, as much as I hate to admit it, I know where Trump is coming from when he expresses a small need for Scotland to accept him. Because I feel the same. I love Scotland. I\u2019ve had my kids here (and not just because it\u2019s free and I can\u2019t pass up a deal). I will always live here. I just know it. I\u2019ve never lived anywhere longer than I\u2019ve lived in Scotland. I have a lot in common with many Scots I encounter. I\u2019ve been drinking heavily my entire life and yet for some reason, still can\u2019t hold my liquor. I buy those weird little flat barbecues and burn a hole in the grass right under the \u201cno barbecuing\u201d sign. I\u2019ve even accidentally said \u201caye\u201d unironically more than once.<\/p>\n

Why don\u2019t I talk about Trump more in my comedy? Honestly, I\u2019ve lived here so long I know more about Nicola Sturgeon and the reintroduction of wolves<\/a> than any of Trump\u2019s day-to-day blunders.<\/p>\n

So he\u2019s here, and nearly every person I\u2019ve told that I\u2019m writing this article has warned me that I\u2019ll probably be monitored and put on some government list of scary, threatening comedians and writers who are flagged as they try to enter the US for saying unfavourable things about Trump. I guess we\u2019ll just have to see how that goes.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s difficult to put into words the way his visit truly makes me feel, but I know who could. Nine years ago, during another visit by Trump, the late comedian Janey Godley knew exactly what to do<\/a>. A one-woman protest, with a very very sweary sign making clear her absolute disdain for the would-be president. Humour and rebellion. Mutiny. Her act of defiance went around the world.<\/p>\n

With Trump in Scotland, on his golf course at Turnberry, Godley knew that no long, flowery language was needed. No 1,000-word opinion pieces. (Though she could smash those, too.)<\/p>\n

Mr President, you probably don\u2019t even know who Janey Godley is. Which is one of the many reasons you will never, ever be Scottish. But she crafted those beautiful four sweary words saying exactly what she thought of you. She expressed in perfect, poignant prose what so many of us feel down to the marrow of our bones. I won\u2019t quote her directly, of course, but we all know it.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll enjoy your time here, protected by Scottish police and security. Playing golf and speaking with other powerful men. Enjoying the delicious Scottish tap water. And you\u2019re allowed to do that, I guess. But we don\u2019t have to like it.<\/p>\n