{"id":331479,"date":"2025-08-09T21:09:17","date_gmt":"2025-08-09T21:09:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/331479\/"},"modified":"2025-08-09T21:09:17","modified_gmt":"2025-08-09T21:09:17","slug":"what-it-means-when-you-fall-for-your-psychiatrist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/331479\/","title":{"rendered":"What It Means When You Fall for Your Psychiatrist"},"content":{"rendered":"

When you think about what you might get out of therapy<\/a>\u2014emotional breakthroughs, clearer boundaries\u2014falling in love<\/a> with the person across the room probably isn\u2019t high on the list. And yet, that exact scenario is what\u2019s sparking a wave of discourse (and controversy) on social media.<\/p>\n

In a viral, multi-part series, one TikTok user explained how she developed feelings for her psychiatrist\u2014a confession that quickly opened up a conversation about what\u2019s normal (and what\u2019s not) when bonds form in the therapy room. Was this genuine love? A boundary violation? A projection of the patient\u2019s fantasies? According to mental health experts, part of what this TikToker experienced (at least, to an extent) is more common than you\u2019d think\u2014and that taboo, crush-like connection has a name: Transference.<\/p>\n

What is \u2018transference\u2019\u2014a common reason why people get attached to their psychiatrists?<\/p>\n

In a lot of shows\u2014Suits, Sopranos, You\u2014there\u2019s often a flirtatious spark (or full-blown sexual tension) brewing between a patient and their provider. But in real life, an intense attraction toward your therapist or psychiatrist may not be about them at all.<\/p>\n

In psychology, transference is when you unconsciously redirect emotions, desires, and expectations from someone in your past (say, a parent or ex) onto your provider, Lauren Larkin, LMHC<\/a>, a New York City-based therapist, tells SELF. That explains why a person with abandonment issues<\/a>, for instance, might get unusually attached to a therapist who offers the steady, nonjudgmental support they never had from an inconsistent partner. Or why someone dealing with deep loneliness might interpret their psychiatrist\u2019s attention and warmth as a sign of genuine friendship\u2014when really, they\u2019re just doing their job.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, this dynamic can even evolve into what\u2019s called erotic transference. In this case, romantic or sexual feelings enter the mix, Jessi Gold, MD<\/a>, psychiatrist, chief wellness officer at the University of Tennessee System, and author of How Do You Feel?,<\/a> tells SELF. It might show up as a patient who\u2019s personally insulted when their therapist is OOO and needs to reschedule. Dr. Gold adds that it could manifest as a sudden curiosity about the therapist\u2019s personal life\u2014a desire to know details unrelated to your care, such as their dating life, family background, or attachment style.<\/p>\n

As intense as erotic transference may sound, the reason it\u2019s pretty common is simple: In sessions, \u201cthe client often feels heard, cared for, and accepted,\u201d Larkin explains. \u201cSo it\u2019s easy to confuse those professional, relational feelings for romantic love.\u201d But that doesn\u2019t mean your connection is actually romantic\u2014or even real in the way it may feel in the moment.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s because \u201cyou can\u2019t truly be in love with someone you don\u2019t know,\u201d Erin Runt, LMFT<\/a>, a Chicago-based licensed therapist, tells SELF. \u201cA patient might think they know their therapist or psychiatrist, but in any professional setting with the right boundaries, they don\u2019t.\u201d So often, what seems like infatuation is actually about what the therapist symbolizes\u2014things like comfort, approval, and validation.<\/p>\n

What therapists do when their patient catches feelings<\/p>\n

Transference is so common, that it\u2019s something most therapists are trained to prepare for and handle. Rather than ignoring what can seem like an uncomfortable or inappropriate crush, Dr. Gold says the standard protocol is to address the tension directly. Otherwise, important boundaries can become even more blurred, making your mental health treatment less effective (or even more harmful) in the long run.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"When you think about what you might get out of therapy\u2014emotional breakthroughs, clearer boundaries\u2014falling in love with the…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":331480,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4317],"tags":[105,218,224,1408,16,15],"class_list":{"0":"post-331479","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-mental-health","8":"tag-health","9":"tag-mental-health","10":"tag-relationships","11":"tag-therapy","12":"tag-uk","13":"tag-united-kingdom"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@uk\/115000859884521725","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/331479","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=331479"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/331479\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/331480"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=331479"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=331479"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=331479"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}