{"id":357154,"date":"2025-08-19T15:46:09","date_gmt":"2025-08-19T15:46:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/357154\/"},"modified":"2025-08-19T15:46:09","modified_gmt":"2025-08-19T15:46:09","slug":"me-an-empty-nester-no-way-i-reject-the-implication","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/357154\/","title":{"rendered":"Me, an empty nester? No way. I reject the implication"},"content":{"rendered":"

My son will leave, as his brother did, and my wife and I will remain in a nest that, granted, will have more space and be a bit quieter. But those who say ’empty nest’ suggest something is missing.<\/p>\n

\"play\"<\/p>\n

Big day for ASU as students move in<\/p>\n

Arizona State University’s campus in Downtown Phoenix was buzzing with mixed emotions on Aug. 14, as parents dropped off their kids.<\/p>\n

Fox – 10 Phoenix<\/p>\n

My wife and I will soon be, in the parlance of parenting, empty nesters<\/a>.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a term I\u2019ve decided to reject.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been rejecting a lot of things lately, if I\u2019m being honest.<\/p>\n

Things like the fact that my youngest son \u2013 who approximately 15 minutes ago was a warm, burping bean slung tenderly over my shoulder \u2013 is now an adult human, both prepared for and (rudely) excited to head to college.<\/p>\n

And the simple fact that I played a small part in raising two remarkable additions to humanity<\/a>, and the \u201cthey live among us\u201d portion of that job is done. How is that possible? It was a blink. It was a marathon that unfolded like a sprint.<\/p>\n

Taking my youngest child to college is a chapter’s end<\/p>\n

I want to reject the reality of the moment \u2013 a moment I share with all parents preparing to send their last offspring out into the world<\/a> \u2013 but it\u2019s a fool\u2019s errand.<\/p>\n

Opinion: <\/strong>On a college visit with my son it hit me. He’s leaving. He’s ready. And I’m not.<\/a><\/p>\n

This is a moment that should come. That must come. Our kids enter our lives, fabulously and chaotically. They give us more than we could ever imagine while wearing us down to shadows of our former selves. We live for them and through them and around them, all to prepare them to split, to go out and do their own things and live their lives and hopefully \u2013 hopefully \u2013 find we gave them the tools to live well.<\/p>\n

So I can\u2019t reject the fact that he\u2019s grown. He\u2019s taller than me, stronger than me. It\u2019s all very obnoxious, frankly.<\/p>\n

And I can\u2019t reject the fact that he\u2019s leaving. He\u2019s ready. I may or may not be, but it\u2019s happening. And I\u2019m happy \u2013 thrilled, really \u2013 for him. Go get \u2018em, kiddo. I\u2019m so proud of you, it hurts.<\/p>\n

The term ’empty nest’ doesn’t reflect the reality of a happy home<\/p>\n

But I can and will reject the oft-used term \u201cempty nest.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m writing this from a chair in our living room, and while no one else is home save the dog<\/a>, I don\u2019t see emptiness.<\/p>\n

I see, vividly, as if he were there, my youngest\u2019s now-long legs dangling off the arm of the couch while he tells me about his day. I see him years ago, on the sidewalk outside, walking to the bus for the first day of middle school. I see him and my wife and his older brother at Christmas, collapsing in laughter.<\/p>\n

I look into the dining room and can hear the whirr of drones he\u2019d fly around the house, the shouts of \u201cBOOM!\u201d around the old wood table where we played countless games of UNO and Yahtzee. I see, clear as if they were there, LEGOs strewn about the floor and Hot Wheels tracks twisting and turning up and over furniture from one end of the house to the other.<\/p>\n

To new and struggling teachers: <\/strong>Don’t give up. America’s kids need you. | Opinion<\/a><\/p>\n

You fit a lifetime into raising a kid for 18 years<\/p>\n

This nest isn\u2019t empty. Not even close.<\/p>\n

In his 18 years, we’ve stuffed this house so full of memories it\u2019s a wonder the drywall doesn\u2019t crack from the pressure. Smiles and tears and skinned knees and arguments and lectures and hours of football and snacks and movies and long tales and \u201cBe safe!\u201d exhortations as he had one foot out the door.<\/p>\n

This nest isn\u2019t empty.<\/p>\n

He will leave, as his brother did, and my wife and I will remain in a nest that, granted, will have more space and be a bit quieter. But those who say \u201cempty nest\u201d suggest something is missing. They suggest emptiness with a note of negativity. As if the home where we raised our children will somehow become vacant.<\/p>\n

That I reject.<\/p>\n

I’ll miss my son terribly, but I won’t return home to emptiness<\/p>\n

I will miss my youngest as I\u2019ve missed his brother. It will hurt like hell at first, I know. Not hearing him rattle around upstairs. Not seeing him surreptitiously toss bits of whatever he’s eating to the dog. Not seeing him wave with a goofy grin as he parades through the living room with a pack of cackling friends. Locking up the house at night and knowing he’s somewhere else.<\/p>\n

Opinion alerts:<\/b> Get columns from your favorite columnists + expert analysis on top issues, delivered straight to your device through the USA TODAY app. Don’t have the app? Download it for free from your app store<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I’ll miss him, but whatever room or hallway I pass through in this house will never be empty. This nest, blessedly, will forever be full, brimming with moments and movement and the echoes of our boys, scenes from a monumental chapter of our lives and theirs, with many chapters to follow and more moments and echoes to add.<\/p>\n

I won\u2019t call myself an empty nester. Nope. I reject that.<\/p>\n

But as I hug my boy and drive back to the home he helped fill with boundless joy, I\u2019ll gladly call myself the luckiest man alive.<\/p>\n

Follow\u00a0USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke\u00a0on Bluesky at\u00a0@rexhuppke.bsky.social<\/a>\u00a0and on Facebook at\u00a0facebook.com\/RexIsAJerk<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"My son will leave, as his brother did, and my wife and I will remain in a nest…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":357155,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5311],"tags":[2420,5176,11753,389,35745,11757,5762,11765,8745,2266,61325,4417,125803,390,86255,3360,18109,2837,125804,29729,1302,10521,1429,125802,61324,125801,5488,12,391,11768,11767,7670,5179,5496,11752,11763,61323,28108,11759,49,978,659,11758,86655,11769],"class_list":{"0":"post-357154","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-united-states","8":"tag-parenting","9":"tag-and","10":"tag-center","11":"tag-children","12":"tag-christmas","13":"tag-collection","14":"tag-columnists","15":"tag-columnists-opinions","16":"tag-content","17":"tag-education","18":"tag-education-methodology-and-innovation","19":"tag-empty","20":"tag-empty-nesters","21":"tag-family","22":"tag-fatherhood","23":"tag-higher","24":"tag-higher-education","25":"tag-holiday","26":"tag-holiday-marketplace-hub","27":"tag-hub","28":"tag-innovation","29":"tag-left","30":"tag-life","31":"tag-marketplace","32":"tag-methodology","33":"tag-nesters","34":"tag-neutral","35":"tag-news","36":"tag-opinion","37":"tag-opinion-collection","38":"tag-opinion-content","39":"tag-opinions","40":"tag-overall","41":"tag-overall-neutral","42":"tag-politically","43":"tag-politically-center-left","44":"tag-raising","45":"tag-raising-children","46":"tag-sharing","47":"tag-united-states","48":"tag-us","49":"tag-usa","50":"tag-usat","51":"tag-usat-content-sharing-life","52":"tag-usat-content-sharing-opinion"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"","error":"Validation failed: Text character limit of 500 exceeded"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357154","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=357154"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357154\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/357155"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=357154"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=357154"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=357154"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}