Sean Zanni\/Getty Images<\/p>\n
Therapy is supposed to be one of the few judgment-free zones where you\u2019re empowered to say whatever you want, about whoever you want. Maybe it\u2019s a safe space to vent about your overbearing mom<\/a> who\u2019s seemingly impossible to impress or your sibling who\u2014bless their heart\u2014unloads all their personal problems onto you. So what happens then when the very therapist you\u2019ve come to trust\u2026is also seeing your parent? Or sister? Or spouse?<\/p>\n That seems to be the setup for two members of the Kardashian family. Recently, Khlo\u00e9 revealed that she and Kim individually see the same provider. The confession may raise some eyebrows, but according to Khlo\u00e9 herself, it works well. \u201cKim introduced me,\u201d she said on the Call Her Daddy<\/a> podcast. \u201cKim was like, \u2018I\u2019m seeing her, I think she\u2019d be really beneficial to you.\u2019 And she is.\u201d<\/p>\n That might sound like a disaster waiting to happen (or your worst nightmare), but for the Kardashians, having someone who understands both sides of their relationship is actually a bonus, not a drawback. \u201c[Our therapist] gets our dynamic even from a deeper level by knowing Kim, and she gets to hear Kim\u2019s version\u2026of our childhood and my version,\u201d Khlo\u00e9 explained.<\/p>\n So, should family members see the same therapist? Just because it\u2019s successful for these sisters doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s a good idea for the rest of us. Here\u2019s when (and how) this kind of overlap can get complicated.<\/p>\n It works for the Kardashians\u2014but should your family try it too?<\/p>\n The family therapists SELF spoke with don\u2019t doubt that this unconventional setup may be effective for A-listers like the Kardashians. \u201cThey live highly, highly publicized lives, and most of us aren\u2019t worried that our therapist is going to leak our information,\u201d Erin Runt, LMFT<\/a>, Chicago-based licensed therapist providing marriage and family counseling, tells SELF. \u201cSo celebrities probably have to really, really vet people to trust\u201d\u2014which is why getting a rec from your own sis could be a game-changer.<\/p>\n What about for us regular folks, though? Hypothetically, someone who\u2019s familiar with both versions of the same problem may be able to offer a more \u201cneutral\u201d perspective\u2014or at least save you the trouble of explaining your family dynamics from scratch. While that may sound promising, the potential risks for most ordinary families tend to outweigh the benefits, experts say.<\/p>\n For one, it\u2019s hard not to get in your head about it. Unlike sharing a doctor, say, or dentist, you may worry about things like whether your provider will bring up how you bad-mouthed your brother during his session. Or maybe they gave you tough love about how you handled a fight with your spouse<\/a>\u2014but wait\u2026does that mean they\u2019re taking their side???<\/p>\n Make no mistake: Any good, reputable therapist should protect your privacy and remain unbiased in sticky circumstances like this, according to Patrice Le Goy, PhD, LMFT<\/a>, a Los Angeles\u2013based couples therapist. \u201cThe onus is really on the provider to be on top of boundaries,\u201d she tells SELF. But even the most loyal, ethical, well-trained pro is still human\u2014meaning, it requires a lot of work to prevent any crossover between each of your sessions. After all, it\u2019s easy to forget who said what while working with people from the same family or to accidentally blurt out an offhand, \u201cI know,\u201d \u201cI heard,\u201d or \u201cI remember.\u201d<\/p>\n Not to mention what a shared therapist learns from each party can complicate your therapeutic relationship, too\u2014especially if it\u2019s stuff you didn\u2019t disclose in your own sessions. \u201cWhen we get sensitive or inflammatory information [about the other person], that\u2019s kind of hard to ignore,\u201d Dr. Le Goy explains. At the same time, she says therapists shouldn\u2019t censor their clients by declaring certain topics off limits\u2014so they can\u2019t exactly cut you off with, \u201cHey, that sounds like your sister\u2019s secret to share. Let\u2019s change topics!\u201d<\/p>\n For these reasons, many therapists will have their own rules against working with people from the same circle. \u201cOur professional discretion should always include ethics,\u201d Runt says, and for the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy<\/a>, this includes using your best judgment to avoid overlapping relationships (especially within immediate family) that may pose a conflict of interest.<\/p>\n So generally, the answer to \u201cshould family members see the same therapist\u201d is no. Although, in situations where seeing separate providers isn\u2019t possible (on a college campus, say, or in a community with few resources), rest assured a solid one will still take precautions to keep things as confidential as possible. For example, they\u2019ll likely schedule family members on different days to keep some semblance of separation, as SELF previously reported<\/a>. They should also be upfront about the boundaries they\u2019re putting in place, like clarifying that nothing you say will leave the room to help with peace of mind.<\/p>\n Above all, a reputable provider won\u2019t ignore the elephant in the room. \u201cThey\u2019ll actually acknowledge when there\u2019s no way to prevent bias,\u201d Runt says. From there, they may suggest a different route that protects the integrity of your care, like bringing everyone together for a group therapy session or referring one (or both) of you to a different provider (possibly a telehealth option if availability is your issue).<\/p>\n Ultimately, therapy only works when there\u2019s trust. And it\u2019s near-impossible to make the most out of your sessions if a part of you is holding back, bracing for judgment, or worrying that your secret rants about an exhausting parent, sibling, or partner aren\u2019t, well, secret.<\/p>\n Related:<\/strong><\/p>\n