{"id":389388,"date":"2025-09-01T14:12:14","date_gmt":"2025-09-01T14:12:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/389388\/"},"modified":"2025-09-01T14:12:14","modified_gmt":"2025-09-01T14:12:14","slug":"soldiers-are-doing-landscaping-in-dc-parks-im-thrilled-for-them-dave-schilling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/389388\/","title":{"rendered":"Soldiers are doing landscaping in DC parks. I\u2019m thrilled for them | Dave Schilling"},"content":{"rendered":"

If soldiers are going to be deployed to your city, what would you prefer they do: point a rifle in your face or mow your grass? This is not a question I ever expected to have to consider in my days on this planet, but life is full of surprises. As part of Donald Trump\u2019s military deployment to address Washington DC\u2019s so-called \u201ccrime emergency<\/a>\u201d, national guard troops are being tasked with various groundskeeping duties<\/a> around the United States capital. These duties include spreading mulch around cherry trees, picking up trash and general maintenance of public spaces. The president must have been too embarrassed to get Four Seasons Total Landscaping<\/a> involved again, so he got the military to do it instead.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a real \u201cswords into ploughshares<\/a>\u201d moment, or in this case, \u201cM4 rifles into those grabber sticks you use to pick up plastic bottles full of piss<\/a>.\u201d It\u2019s almost sweet, if you separate the move from literally all outside context and just think about a part-time soldier pruning your bush. The national guard is actually trained for sanitation and groundskeeping<\/a>, but they are usually deployed for such purposes in a crisis like a natural disaster or even during the height of the Covid pandemic. Except: there\u2019s no natural disaster, no stay-at-home orders due to a deadly virus, no wildfires, no floods. The only crisis here is man-made.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s usually the responsibility of the National Parks Service to beautify spaces in DC, but amid recent cuts by the Trump administration, the number of parks employees in the city fell from 200 to a mere 20, according to the Washington Post<\/a>. Still, the guard wasn\u2019t deployed to toss cigarette butts. This is happening because of alleged rampant crime in a city where the violent crime rate before Trump\u2019s deployment was down by about 20% over the same period in earlier years.<\/a> Some estimates place the cost of the DC military deployment at around a $1m a day<\/a>. I will happily rake your leaves for half that.<\/p>\n

The guards assigned to cleaning up the capital are not armed and may be happy to be on trash duty rather than engaged in more aggressive operations. I\u2019m thrilled for them, to be honest. This is the best version of an awful situation, but from my perspective, it could be even better. Why are they just cleaning up parks when they could be doing so much more with $1m a day in taxpayer revenue? Let\u2019s really put these people to work.<\/p>\n

Sure, I love visiting my local park or perusing the public square, but you know where I really spend the majority of my time? At home. On my couch. Watching television. I\u2019d toss in an extra $50 if the national guard would organize my refrigerator. I never can seem to keep track of all the produce in there and it inevitably goes bad. I\u2019d get that $50 back just from the cost savings of not having to throw out old spinach every week.<\/p>\n

How about car repair? My passenger side door has a small ding in it. Grab a hammer and pop that thing back out. I need to call my mother back. She\u2019s in her late 70s and is clearly very lonely. Maybe someone from the national guard can stop by to check on her for me. Pop a finger under her nose just to be sure she\u2019s still breathing. I make a mean spaghetti bolognese from a Stanley Tucci recipe. The guard should come over and have some. I always make too much, and then I forget the leftovers are in the fridge because \u2026 I can\u2019t organize my fridge.<\/p>\n

You might say that these are all things that someone else (me) should already be doing. Sure, I cannot deny that calling my mother is actually my responsibility, but is that so different from the guard entering a city to do what an already well-funded police department is actively engaged in every day? How is this different from firing most of the DC-based parks service members, then spending thousands of dollars to have someone else do it? And until my specific needs are met, how can we, as a nation, truly be free? Someone has to do the dirty work of calling my mother. I don\u2019t see any volunteers lining up, and as a taxpayer, I\u2019ve already invested in this service. The national guard has entered my home town of Los Angeles, Washington DC<\/a>, and potentially others in the future, without anyone asking me (or really any other actual citizen of those places). If I\u2019m going to be stuck with an unwanted houseguest who costs me seven figures every day of their visit, then I ask them to please do their fair share.<\/p>\n

My mom would greatly appreciate it.<\/p>\n