But the arrangement, which was originally put in place so the family could get a feel of how day-to-day life in Germany might suit them if they chose to move there permanently, has become exhausting \u2013 and expensive.<\/p>\n
Now, says Ms O\u2019Sullivan, it\u2019s time to choose \u2013 but it\u2019s not an easy decision to make. A self-confessed Anglophile, Ms O\u2019Sullivan says she has felt drawn to both the UK and Ireland since she was 15, reading books about the countries and listening to music from bands like The Cure and The Smiths.<\/p>\n
She eventually made the move to London in 2010 when she was 27, and excelled in a high performing HR career, before retraining as a career and leadership coach and setting up her own business<\/a>. In London, she met Ray, who now runs his own plastering business.<\/p>\n \u201cThe UK and Ireland are my big loves. It\u2019s like you fall in love with a place that has helped you become the person you are,\u201d Ms O\u2019Sullivan tells The i Paper. \u201cI have never felt more like myself than during my time in London. It has been the best time of my life.\u201d<\/p>\n But the O\u2019Sullivans currently pay rent on two flats \u2013 \u00a31,750 for a two-bedroom flat in the north London suburb of Golder\u2019s Green, and around \u00a31,800 a month for a three-bedroom flat in Leipzig, a small city about 100 miles south-west of Berlin.<\/p>\n Harry, who has deferred starting school in the UK by a year, also attends part-time kindergarten in Germany, at a cost of around \u00a3390 a month for attending on a half-time basis.<\/p>\n The family covers their rental costs by renting out properties they own in the UK<\/a>. For example, a house they own in Surrey generates \u00a32,450 a month in rent.<\/p>\n When the O\u2019Sullivans are in Germany, groceries are noticeably cheaper \u2013 with a weekly shop coming in at around \u00a360, compared with the \u00a3120 they spend when they are in the UK. They also notice a difference in their utility bills: \u00a3100 a month for gas and electricity in London, compared with around \u00a360 a month in Leipzig.<\/p>\n While children in Germany typically do not start school until they are six, they are not required to wear a school uniform. Many schools also offer after school care at a low or no cost. And all parents, regardless of income, receive a child benefit payment in Germany. Ms O\u2019Sullivan receives around \u00a3113 a month.<\/p>\n Health costs are higher in Germany, though, with residents required to pay for their own health insurance, or face fines. Ms O\u2019Sullivan, considered a resident because of the amount of time she spends there, pays around \u00a3550 per month.<\/p>\n The family also opts to pay for their own private health insurance in the UK, at a cost of \u00a3280 per month, so they can access services more quickly.<\/p>\n But they acknowledge it\u2019s becoming unfeasible to continue shelling out double the expenses, and have tasked themselves with making a decision by next spring, when Harry must start school in the UK should they stay here.<\/p>\n \u201cRay started building a property portfolio early in his life, so that helps. Currently, though, we\u2019re just making things work, so we want to start thinking about how we can invest that differently and build for the future,\u201d says Ms O\u2019Sullivan.<\/p>\n \u201c[The way we live] is, on the one hand, a real luxury that we have, that so many people couldn\u2019t afford. But on the other hand, he\u2019s [Ray] approaching his fifties, I\u2019m approaching my mid-forties. This money has to go somewhere else.\u201d<\/p>\n Comparing the O\u2019Sullivans\u2019 living costs<\/a> across the UK and Germany is not necessarily straightforward, as costs are not like for like across a capital city like London and a smaller city like Leipzig, and private health insurance is not mandatory in the UK. On the whole, though, Germany wins out due to the lack of school uniform and after school care costs.<\/p>\n The couple have also been using some of Ms O\u2019Sullivan\u2019s coaching techniques to help make their decision, like analysing their values, and mapping out their ideal life around factors such as time spent with each other, social networks, family connection, finances, health and wellbeing; and rating each location on both.<\/p>\n There\u2019s also another key factor pushing the O\u2019Sullivans in the direction of Germany. Ms O\u2019Sullivan\u2019s parents are there, while Ray\u2019s parents have passed away. Her sister, who is also in her forties and has young children, is also there.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/SEI_268522124-e1759757766734.jpg\")
The family on a desert safari recently. They have tasked themselves with making a decision by next spring, when young Harry must start school in the UK should they stay here<\/p>\n