{"id":493233,"date":"2025-10-12T09:26:16","date_gmt":"2025-10-12T09:26:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/493233\/"},"modified":"2025-10-12T09:26:16","modified_gmt":"2025-10-12T09:26:16","slug":"i-was-a-child-in-need-but-i-was-just-known-as-number-46","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/493233\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018I was a child in need, but I was just known as number 46\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

Across England, more than 83,000 children are currently in care, the highest number on record\"NicholaNichola Anne at home in Ainsdale(Image: Liverpool Echo)<\/p>\n

\u201cI was known as number 46\u201d, remembers Nichola Anne as she looks at a childhood photograph. It shows Nichola and her sister in foster care, after being removed from her family home.<\/p>\n

After years of silence, Nichola is speaking out about her childhood and growing up in the care system. Her story is of a life marked by violence and abandonment, but also one of hope and survival. Part of the motivation for sharing her story is to try and shine a light on the experiences of people who grow up in care.<\/p>\n

Nichola said she has witnessed some negative commentary from people worried about children\u2019s homes in their area.<\/p>\n

She said: \u201cI grew up in care and I am a care leaver. Negative posts about children living in care homes are upsetting.<\/p>\n

\u201cChildren don\u2019t go into care because they\u2019re bad or dangerous. Often, it\u2019s because of circumstances far outside their control.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe know the support to keep families together isn\u2019t there. Too often, it\u2019s children in care and care leavers who are judged, feared, or treated as if we don\u2019t belong.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo I\u2019m sharing this for transparency. I am a care leaver, a mum, a grandma, and a co-founder of a support group for parents. Care leavers do struggle but they\u2019re capable of so much, just like everyone else.\u2019<\/p>\n

In recent months, the Liverpool ECHO<\/a> has attended several council meetings in Merseyside, where planning applications for new care homes have been evaluated.<\/p>\n

The vast majority of those applications have been met with objections from local residents who have expressed concerns about the surge in private sector involvement in children\u2019s care.<\/p>\n

\"NicholaNichola Anne with records from her time spent in care(Image: Liverpool Echo)<\/p>\n

However, there have also been those who have lodged objections about the children themselves, often based on misconceptions and well-worn prejudices.<\/p>\n

In some instances, when residents hear a children\u2019s home might be opening on their street, the reaction is often the same: polite objections about \u201cprotecting the community\u201d or \u201cpreserving the area\u2019s character.\u201d<\/p>\n

But beneath the planning jargon lies a quieter fear, that children in care are problems waiting to happen.<\/p>\n

Nichola Anne knows this prejudice all too well. She said: \u201cPeople talk about us like we\u2019re dangerous but we weren\u2019t bad kids. We were broken kids. We were just trying to survive.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nichola is 45 and settled in Ainsdale, but grew up across the West Midlands during the 1980s and 90s, and was in and out of foster placements.<\/p>\n

Her childhood was defined by instability and feeling constantly unsafe, left exposed by a system that too often looked away.<\/p>\n

She said: \u201cI think if people knew what had already happened to most of us before we ever saw the inside of a children\u2019s home, they wouldn\u2019t be so quick to judge.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nichola\u2019s earliest memories are of shouting, slamming doors and the sound of her mother crying. She does not speak to her father. \u201cHe was meant to come every weekend. I\u2019d sit by the window waiting for him. But he never came back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"NicholaNichola Anne with her sister – you can see the labels number 46 and number 47 which were used to identify them (Image: Liverpool Echo)<\/p>\n

Her mother struggled with mental illness and alcohol dependency. Nichola recalls being left alone for hours. \u201cI didn\u2019t understand what was wrong with her,\u201d she says. \u201cI just knew she wasn\u2019t there.\u201d<\/p>\n

At seven, she was taken into care for the first time, \u201cWe didn\u2019t know what was happening,\u201d she says, \u201cOne day we were told we were going somewhere safe. That was all.\u201d<\/p>\n

The foster family she stayed with were kind. \u201cFor the first time, I felt like I could sleep without being scared,\u201d she says. But the arrangement lasted only six weeks. \u201cThen we were sent back home, to the same chaos. Nothing had changed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Not long after, she was removed again. Nichola remembers her mother hiding and then disappearing when the social workers came: \u201cShe didn\u2019t say goodbye,\u201d Nichola says softly. \u201cThat was the moment I stopped trusting anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

Over the next decade, Nichola was moved to foster homes and sent to live with extended family members. When her adoptive father died suddenly a few years later, everything collapsed: \u201cHe was the only one who ever made me feel safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

By her mid-teens, Nichola was really struggling and felt increasingly vulnerable, out of control and severely depressed. She was exposed to things no child should ever have to experience. Nichola recounts incidents when she was beaten, emotionally and psychologically abused and the terrifying and traumatic moment she was sexually assaulted.<\/p>\n

She said: \u201cFor a long time, I was told I was the problem and I internalised that. That\u2019s what the system taught me, if things went wrong, it must be my fault.\u201d<\/p>\n

She left care carrying shame that wasn\u2019t hers. It took years, and therapy, to understand what happened was out of her control: \u201cI used to think if I\u2019d just been quieter, better behaved, maybe I\u2019d have been loved,\u201d she says. \u201cNow I know I was a child. I deserved to be loved anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"NicholaNichola Anne at home in Ainsdale(Image: Liverpool Echo)<\/p>\n

Sadly, Nichola\u2019s story is not unique. Across England, more than 83,000 children are currently in care, the highest number on record. Many share her experience of instability and stigma.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeople see headlines about crime or troubled teenagers and assume that\u2019s what care is,\u201d Nichola says. \u201cBut most of us ended up there because of what adults did to us, not because of what we did to anyone else.\u201d<\/p>\n

That stigma, she believes, still drives opposition to children\u2019s homes. \u201cWhen people fight against a home opening near them, they don\u2019t realise they\u2019re fighting against a child like me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Campaigners agree. Children\u2019s charities have long warned that planning objections often delay or derail vital placements. In 2023, Care Leaver Local Offer wrote to the Housing Minister to raise the issue.<\/p>\n

It wrote: \u201cNegative and unfounded objections based on prejudices against care-experienced people are commonplace, further exacerbating their feelings of marginalisation and unworthiness.\u201d<\/p>\n

Councillor Marion Atkinson, Leader of Sefton<\/a> Council, said: \u201cThe key thing to all of this is that we must have open and honest conversations in our communities \u2013 I\u2019m sure we would all agree that it\u2019s vitally important that we take care of the most vulnerable in our society, whether that be people who find themselves homeless, children who need to be taken into care or our armed forces veterans who are adapting back into civilian life.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut when there are plans for a new children\u2019s home, or a place for homeless people to stay, people can quickly jump into judge and say \u2018we don\u2019t want that here\u2019. Sometimes that is because proposals may come as a surprise to people or they are fearful of what impact it might have \u2013 but if we\u2019re explaining things and talking to people in our communities they will become more understanding.<\/p>\n

\u201cThese young people deserve the same respect, dignity and opportunities as any other child. The voices of those with lived experience are powerful in challenging these misconceptions and showing the positive impact care can have.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe phrase you sometimes hear is it takes a village to raise a child and that\u2019s so true \u2013 if we\u2019ve got children who need our help and support as a society then we should all be doing what we can and instead of making judgements about people or facilities let\u2019s take the time to understand them so we can make informed decisions together and as a council we will support that whenever we can.\u201d<\/p>\n

For Nichola, that message hits close to home. \u201cEvery move chips away at you,\u201d she says. \u201cYou start to believe you\u2019re unwanted everywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now, decades later, she is determined to use her story to change minds. \u201cFor a long time I was ashamed,\u201d she says. \u201cI thought if people knew I\u2019d been in care, they\u2019d see me differently. But I\u2019ve realised the only way to change that is to talk about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nichola pauses. \u201cI just want people to see us as human beings. We weren\u2019t bad kids, we were children who needed help.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her hope now is that by sharing her story, she can shift perceptions, even slightly. \u201cIf one person reads this and thinks twice before judging a child in care, then it\u2019s worth it,\u201d she says. \u201cBecause none of us should have to feel like a problem to be solved. We were never the problem.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Across England, more than 83,000 children are currently in care, the highest number on recordNichola Anne at home…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":493234,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8815],"tags":[748,393,26695,4884,179,455,12460,109546,16,15],"class_list":{"0":"post-493233","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-liverpool","8":"tag-britain","9":"tag-england","10":"tag-family-and-kids","11":"tag-great-britain","12":"tag-liverpool","13":"tag-real-life","14":"tag-sefton-council","15":"tag-sefton-council-leader","16":"tag-uk","17":"tag-united-kingdom"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@uk\/115360483680567654","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/493233","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=493233"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/493233\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/493234"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=493233"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=493233"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=493233"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}