{"id":527341,"date":"2025-10-25T16:34:21","date_gmt":"2025-10-25T16:34:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/527341\/"},"modified":"2025-10-25T16:34:21","modified_gmt":"2025-10-25T16:34:21","slug":"paper-or-plastic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/527341\/","title":{"rendered":"Paper or plastic?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The chairs by the pharmacy counter are hard bioplastic and contoured \u2014 supposedly \u2014 to the human body. They\u2019re not the right shape for Harold or for anyone else who might actually need to sit on them. Too high off the ground, sized for people who haven\u2019t yet begun to shrink, and too straight-backed, unkind to vertebrae that curl you inwards like last year\u2019s leaves.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m waiting for my wife,\u201d Harold calls out when the pharmacist appears. He\u2019s already been ignored, condescended to, smiled weakly at, and ignored again. \u201cIs Rosie ready yet?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI need my \u2014\u201d says the next person in a queue that snakes all the way past Allergy and Anti-Inflammatory to Heavy Metal\/Haemorrhoid. \u201cPlease \u2014\u201d says someone else; then everyone is clamouring like Oliver Twist, if Dickensian orphans had wanted pills instead of porridge.<\/p>\n

Amazingly, the pharmacist beckons. \u201cMr Vetch?\u201d He holds out a paper bag. \u201cI have your prescription.\u201d<\/p>\n

Harold levers himself up. \u201cFinally.\u201d The first day of the month is special. That\u2019s when he gets Rosie back. She\u2019s only formulated for a 30-day supply, which means he\u2019s alone for the last day of each month (except for April\/June\/September\/November \u2014 and February, which gets weird).<\/p>\n

He rips the bag open. \u201cWhat\u2019s this?\u201d He doesn\u2019t swear \u2014 they can throw you out for that. He pulls out a bottle with a single pill inside. \u201cWhere\u2019s my wife?\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Read more science fiction from Nature Futures<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cThis is the current approved grief mitigation formulation per your insurance.\u201d The pharmacist\u2019s sigh could blow an immovable object straight to Mars. \u201cIt\u2019s no different from the usual monthly construct.\u201d<\/p>\n

Harold shakes the bottle. Inside is a big pill, squishy and pale, but it\u2019s not a person. Normally they bring Rosie out from behind the counter, looking just like when she went in for her last scan.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust add water. Hydration is key.\u201d The pharmacist turns away. Harold considers making a scene but he can\u2019t afford to get banned. The next closest pharmacy is an extra 30 minutes on the bus. He could call their daughter. He could call the doctor\u2019s office or his health insurance line. But he\u2019s not going to do it here. He\u2019ll go to lunch first.<\/p>\n

In the deli, he sits with his sandwich and pulls out the bottle. The instructions read: Apply at least 340 ml distilled water. Allow space.<\/p>\n

He tips the pill onto the table and pours bottled water over it. He\u2019d thought it would spill everywhere but the pill soaks it up. Then it starts to expand like a Magic Grow toy. Soon Rosie is right there, sitting on the table. She\u2019s fully clothed, thank goodness, and at first glance she looks the same as when he collects her at the pharmacy.<\/p>\n

\u201cHarold!\u201d She clambers off the table, steadied by his hand. \u201cWhat are you eating? Do you know how much sodium is in pastrami?\u201d<\/p>\n

Maybe this new formulation is OK. Now he\u2019s glad he didn\u2019t make a fuss.<\/p>\n

But by the time they go to bed, he\u2019s noticed that her nose is smaller. Her front tooth isn\u2019t crooked. That mole on her back, the one they\u2019d worried about for years but turned out to be just a mole, is gone. She has a lot fewer wrinkles, too. It\u2019s her but not really, as if her edges had been smoothed by AI.<\/p>\n

Also, there\u2019s the extra finger on each hand.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s not the worst of it. When he asks her how they met, she says she\u2019d spilt her iced latte on him and then he\u2019d laughed and asked her out. But Rosie didn\u2019t like lattes. They upset her stomach. Rosie thought coffee should be black and bubbling.<\/p>\n

Also, he\u2019s never been to a coffee shop called the Central Perk, even if it rings some kind of bell. They\u2019d actually met in a cubicle farm. She\u2019d taught him to keep his yammering voice down on the phone. He\u2019d taught her to speak up in meetings. She\u2019d got a promotion and then he had, too, and there\u2019d been marriage and the kids and some trips and retirement and\u2009\u2026<\/p>\n

Well. What\u2019s important is this isn\u2019t Rosie. He spends all morning on hold. By the afternoon, he\u2019s back in the pharmacy. Rosie\u2019s placidly smiling \u2014 that\u2019s wrong too! \u2014 at his side.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want more wrinkles on her?\u201d The pharmacist looks baffled. \u201cA bigger nose? She\u2019s too nice?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExactly!\u201d Harold wonders if it\u2019s all in the pharmacy records: the missed cancer, the threatened lawsuit, the way they lost her too soon. They owe him this year, as close to real as possible.<\/p>\n

\u201cHarold?\u201d The not-really-Rosie picks at her skin.<\/p>\n

The pharmacist, one eye on the queue, checks his records. \u201cYour insurance approved a switch to the generic. It\u2019s a totally legal cost-saving measure.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The chairs by the pharmacy counter are hard bioplastic and contoured \u2014 supposedly \u2014 to the human body.…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":527342,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[4021,2766,3965,3966,70,16,15],"class_list":{"0":"post-527341","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-science","8":"tag-arts","9":"tag-culture","10":"tag-humanities-and-social-sciences","11":"tag-multidisciplinary","12":"tag-science","13":"tag-uk","14":"tag-united-kingdom"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@uk\/115435777600774679","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/527341","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=527341"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/527341\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/527342"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=527341"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=527341"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=527341"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}