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<\/p>\nLiverpool radio presenter Adam Weighell has written an emotional new book after watching his tiny son\u2019s fight for life.<\/p>\n
Dear Toby, which launches on World Prematurity Day on November 17, is both a guide for other parents and a heart-wrenching account of what it\u2019s like to watch your desperately ill child battle daily for life in a neonatal unit.<\/p>\n
Toby was born 14 weeks early and weighing just 1lb 11 ounces (760 grams) after medics were forced to deliver him by emergency caesarean when Adam\u2019s wife Gemma was diagnosed with life-threatening pre-eclampsia.<\/p>\n
The tiny baby who \u2018weighed less than a loaf of bread\u2019 spent 142 days in hospital, during which he faced countless challenges, including two brain bleeds, 11 blood transfusions, pneumonia, and sepsis.<\/p>\n
He was resuscitated three times, underwent a bowel resection, had his appendix removed, and more.<\/p>\n
Adam, 43, from Allerton said:<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was a hell of a shock. There were many times when we feared we might lose him, that he wasn\u2019t going to pull through.<\/p>\n
\u201cBeing born at 26 weeks means you\u2019re at risk of quite a few complications \u2013 and Toby seemed to get them all.<\/p>\n
\u201cAs a parent, I felt helpless, powerless even. There were no guides for parents suddenly thrust onto this neonatal roller coaster.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam began a diary, recording everything that was happening to his son, to create a record and to help manage his emotions: \u201cInitially it was for me to help myself understand it and try to make sense of it all.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen as I kept writing it, I thought if he made it, Toby could one day read about what he had gone through to stay alive. And, eventually, I wanted to get it out as a guide for other parents to be able to use it and get some hope and some comfort, and to realise that they\u2019re not alone.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt can feel so isolating.\u201d<\/p>\n
Toby is now a lively, thriving eight-year-old, but when he was born on June 23, 2017, the picture was very different.<\/p>\n
As soon as he was born, he was transferred to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit in Liverpool Women\u2019s Hospital \u2013 he spent 115 days at the Women\u2019s and 27 at Alder Hey where he underwent operations \u2013 and Adam says: \u201cIt was a shock, to see something so small and so fragile.\u00a0 I had never seen anything like it.\u00a0 He looked other-worldly.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe had papery skin and you could see the blood vessels in his body, and the heart beating inside his chest; and his ribs were tiny like the length of a double-A battery. It was scary stuff.<\/p>\n
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\u201cIt was not for the faint-hearted going into the NICU for the first time and hearing all the beeps and the alarms \u2013 and my son was very good at making all the machines beep and alarm.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s very hard to get used to.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou go into fight or flight mode, and there are times when you want to get up and go because it all just feels too much. I make no secret of my mental health struggles. At one point, I became so ill. I even got shingles.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut of course, you\u2019ve got to fight, and you have to support this baby, and each other \u2013 and the amazing staff who are doing everything they can.<\/p>\n
\u201cI started the diary to gather my thoughts and put my emotions down, and so I could write down all the problems that were befalling our son. And I kept writing throughout his journey.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wanted to use my experience to help other NICU parents navigate the setbacks, the long nights, and the moments of despair that come with having a premature baby. But I also wanted to share the hope and show that there can be light even in the darkest days.\u00a0 There are moments of pure laughter, and it\u2019s amazing how much we can laugh when we are in the depths of despair.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam, who with Gemma, 40, now has a little girl, Ruby, who\u2019s four, says:<\/p>\n
\u201cI couldn\u2019t find anything that captured the harsh reality and all the science behind it, in a way that felt honest and reassuring, so I wrote Dear Toby.\u201d<\/p>\n
As well as the heartfelt experience of a dad, the book contains information about the science and studies behind neonatal care, the astonishing progress that\u2019s been made, and survival statistics.<\/p>\n
Every year, 100,000 babies are cared for in neonatal units across the UK: that\u2019s one in seven.<\/p>\n
Decades ago, babies born at 26 weeks simply wouldn\u2019t have survived.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
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Adam, who\u2019s just launched a new breakfast show with Gemma Cutting on In Demand Radio\u2019s Demand\u2019s Decades, jokes:<\/p>\n
\u201cThere are times we look at Toby and think you put us through the wringer mate, you\u2019d better be good.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd there are times we look at him and think it\u2019s incredible he made it considering what he went through.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe are so grateful to the NICU at Liverpool Women\u2019s Hospital and Alder Hey.\u00a0 The people there are incredible. They literally saved our son\u2019s life multiple times.<\/p>\n
\u201cDear Toby is also a tribute to them as much as anything.\u00a0 Had he been born anywhere else he might not have made it through.\u00a0 They are so skilled that we truly and firmly believe that had he been born in another part of the country we would not have our Toby.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam and his wife Gemma are closer than ever after their experience: <\/p>\n
\u201cThe book is a guide for other mums and dads on the neonatal rollercoaster, and it\u2019s also a reminder that love, courage and hope can carry you through.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dear Toby is available from Amazon and other online retailers at \u00a311.99 p\/b and \u00a34.99 eBook with part of the proceeds going to the Neonatal Unit at Liverpool Women\u2019s Hospital and Alder Hey Children\u2019s Hospital.<\/p>\n
You can pre-order Dear Toby here<\/a>.<\/strong> Find out what\u2019s good up North on our new platform, The Northern Guide.\u00a0
\nFind all the latest Liverpool news here<\/a>. <\/p>\n
\nFrom the best hotels, beauty spots, days out, food and more up North \u2013 visit\u00a0thenorthernguide.com<\/a>\u00a0and follow The Northern Guide on Instagram\u00a0HERE.<\/a><\/p>\n