{"id":655286,"date":"2025-12-26T05:18:19","date_gmt":"2025-12-26T05:18:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/655286\/"},"modified":"2025-12-26T05:18:19","modified_gmt":"2025-12-26T05:18:19","slug":"in-2025-britain-was-engulfed-in-a-tsunami-of-twee","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/655286\/","title":{"rendered":"In 2025, Britain was engulfed in a tsunami of twee"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s hard to be scientifically precise, because there isn\u2019t a quango or an official body measuring the levels, but it\u2019s my firm suspicion that 2025 marked Britain\u2019s twee-est year (so far). It certainly knocked 2012 (the London Olympics<\/a>), 2018 (the Wooferendum<\/a>) and 2022 (the Platty Jubes<\/a>) down the charts. The capacity among British progressives for fluffy, \u2018custard cream and a cuppa\u2019 passive aggression is, I suppose, preferable to the Jonestowny, Manson-girls vibe of their American cousins (though we have a fair bit of that, too). But in 2025, British twee mutated into a new and even more transmissible strain. Let\u2019s call it Omicron Twee \u2013 and if it continues to spread, there may have to be a lockdown of some kind to protect the public. <\/p>\n

It feels like Britain\u2019s progressive establishment is sinking, potentially fatally holed by the gigantic iceberg that is the Labour government. The twee hordes lived for so long in the hope that when they kicked out those horrible Tories we could all go back to 1998 \u2013 to the \u2018nice quiet\u2019 of Britain being, as broadcaster Andrew Marr put it, \u2018a little haven of peace and stability\u2019<\/a>. Unfortunately, real life is not a pantomime.<\/p>\n

This collapse is having very strange effects. The mass online huff-off to Bluesky<\/a> has been mirrored in the physical world by people huffing off from friendships \u2013 my anecdotal evidence file is packed with tales of progressives performatively flouncing away from chums in 2025. And this is coupled with a further retreat into the denial of hardcore twee. <\/p>\n

In March, RAF engineers Daniel Heath and William Lawrence were sentenced at Reading Magistrates\u2019 Court for vandalising a statue of Paddington Bear in Newbury town centre. District judge Sam Goozee told the pair they had committed \u2018an act of wanton vandalism\u2019, which is true enough. Unfortunately, he didn\u2019t stop there<\/a>: <\/p>\n

\u2018Paddington Bear is a beloved cultural icon with children and adults alike. He represents kindness, tolerance and promotes integration and acceptance in our society. His famous label attached to his duffle coat says \u201cplease look after this bear\u201d. On the night of 2 March 2025, your actions were the antithesis of everything Paddington stands for.\u2019 <\/p>\n

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I\u2019m amazed that the defendants, let alone the journalists in court, kept straight faces. This was the solidification of Paddington Bear<\/a> as the sacred totem of British progressivism and its \u2018values\u2019, the holy icon that is their replacement for the social contract, history and indeed God. <\/p>\n

In June, comedian Dawn French posted a peculiar video<\/a> in which she jammed her face into close-up, and rambled in a baby voice about the conflict in Gaza. Speaking as if for Israel, she burbled: \u2018Yeah, but you know they did a bad fing to us, yeah but no. But we want that land\u2026 and we have history\u2026\u2019 The \u2018bad fing\u2019 in question being, of course, the invasion, mass murder and rape of Israelis on 7 October. This profoundly disquieting snippet didn\u2019t seem so much like a political observation as an episode requiring urgent medical intervention. For those of us over a certain age, this high-pitched, silly voiced take on international warfare was inescapably reminiscent of the 1970s kids\u2019 TV treat, Michael Bentine\u2019s Potty Time, and Dawn had certainly gone fully potty. <\/p>\n

Paddington wasn\u2019t the only icon to be vandalised. In July, the two unpleasant men who chopped down the \u2018iconic\u2019 Sycamore Gap tree were each sentenced<\/a> at Newcastle Crown Court to four years and three months in prison for their actions. Fair enough, you might reasonably say. But hang on. For contrast, disgraced BBC newsreader Huw Edwards was sentenced in September 2024<\/a> for only six months (suspended!) for possession of child-abuse images, including those of a victim aged between seven and nine. The tree apparently counts for a lot more than that child; the National Trust even read out a victim-impact statement on the tree\u2019s behalf in court. Its stump is thankfully now showing signs of life.<\/p>\n

Now, the twee aesthetic is starting to infect the people committing acts of vandalism. In December, the case containing the Crown Jewels was smeared with crumble and custard<\/a> \u2013 because \u2018democracy is crumbling\u2019, do you see? \u2013 by naff students calling themselves Take Back Power. I predict more tweerorism of this kind in 2026.<\/p>\n

The purest stream of twee I\u2019ve found this year emerged in October \u2013 it is essentially the defining document of the movement. It is written by one Sofie Jenkinson, co-director of Round Our Way, an initiative that \u2018shares stories about the impact climate change has on our communities\u2019. The article, titled \u2018Mr Blobby patriotism\u2019, appeared under the banner of Renewal, a self-described \u2018journal of social democracy (aka another progressive boondoggle). You can read it for yourself here<\/a>. But I must in good conscience append a trigger warning: such high levels of schmaltz might kill a beginner. <\/p>\n

Sofie compiled a list of \u2018all the things I love about Britain\u2019:<\/p>\n

\u2018Yorkshire Tea adverts with Sarah Lancashire and Sean Bean, Greggs, Pete Postlethwaite\u2019s speech in Brassed Off, 2p machines, hun culture, the relentless sarcasm, Sam Fender<\/a> hungover on breakfast TV, Big John, Bob Mortimer, Ainsley Harriott (Why hello Jill!), that specific bit of Come Dine with Me (You won, Jane. Enjoy the money. Dear lord, what a sad little life.) Supermarket Sweep, Monster Munch, everyone knowing the rap in \u201cWannabe\u201d, Irn Bru adverts, Tango adverts (apple and orange), Mr Bean, really bad service stations, Chicken Shop Date, the phrase \u201cCan he do it on a cold, rainy night in Stoke?\u201d, the different names we have for bread rolls (see also: sex, chewing gum, woodlice, the TV remote), the montages before and after big games like Wales in the Six Nations and the Lionesses going into the final, taking the piss out of our mates, meal deals\u2026. and Mr Blobby\u2026 This is what I love about our country \u2013 the not-taking-yourself-too-seriously and the begrudging patriotism I feel as I hear someone make a your-mum joke.\u2019 <\/p>\n

You may think I\u2019m being a little harsh. But hang on a second. What occasioned this tsunami of schmaltz from Sofie? \u2018I guess I found myself thinking about this because of the summer we\u2019ve had \u2013 of riots outside of asylum hotels, the Tommy Robinson march through London and a rising political temperature\u2019, she wrote. \u2018And then last week the awful attack on a synagogue in Manchester.\u2019<\/p>\n

Yes, this is what progressives like Sofie have to offer in answer to the truly grim horrors confronting the nation in 2025. And there\u2019s worse:<\/p>\n

\u2018Most people will have a chat with you about anything if you go about it the right way. My friend, Rachael, was telling me about this cracking plumber she has who\u2019s a top lad and recently while he was head-under-sink mentioned something to her about asylum hotels. She paused for a second, and then asked him what it was about the hotels that was worrying him the most and allowed him into a respectful, honest and open conversation with her about his fears. And this allowed him to talk those fears through, but also unpick his understanding about where the people in that hotel might have come from and why they might need help and support. This is the Britain I know we are, the one that lets someone ask you a genuinely curious question about what you think and answers it in kind. And every time this happens, getting us all knowing each other a little better.\u2019 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m just going to unpick your understanding, prole, by asking you a genuinely curious question\u2026 I hope the top lad charged Rachael, the patronising pass-agg bell-end, a grand for turning her stopcock off and on. <\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s not twee\u2019, says Sofie, of what she calls \u2018Silly Sausage Britain\u2019. I\u2019ll be the judge of that. Calling it \u2018Silly Sausage Britain\u2019 may not be the best way to avoid the accusation. <\/p>\n

It is understandable that, when threatened, we want to retreat to safe comfort zones. I like to pretend Terry Wogan is still alive, for example. But the moment you notice that something trivial but precious is lost, and try to revive it by putting a frill on it\u2026 then you really know that it\u2019s gone. <\/p>\n

Twee is a comfort blanket for progressives. But the blanket is too small and too thin \u2013 you pull it up to cover your chest, and your legs poke out. It is the end of something, a desperate rearguard action at the beginning of a new historical era. Serious times \u2013 and very silly people. <\/p>\n

Gareth Roberts<\/strong> is a screenwriter, author and novelist, best known for his work on Doctor Who.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"It\u2019s hard to be scientifically precise, because there isn\u2019t a quango or an official body measuring the levels,…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":655287,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5018,3,4],"tags":[748,68405,393,4884,1144,712,16,15,1764],"class_list":{"0":"post-655286","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-britain","8":"category-uk","9":"category-united-kingdom","10":"tag-britain","11":"tag-culture-war","12":"tag-england","13":"tag-great-britain","14":"tag-northern-ireland","15":"tag-scotland","16":"tag-uk","17":"tag-united-kingdom","18":"tag-wales"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@uk\/115784181539732443","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/655286","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=655286"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/655286\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/655287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=655286"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=655286"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=655286"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}