{"id":70603,"date":"2025-05-03T07:49:14","date_gmt":"2025-05-03T07:49:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/70603\/"},"modified":"2025-05-03T07:49:14","modified_gmt":"2025-05-03T07:49:14","slug":"what-its-like-living-with-agoraphobia-ocd-and-ptsd-deseret-news","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/70603\/","title":{"rendered":"What it&#8217;s like living with agoraphobia, OCD and PTSD \u2013 Deseret News"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Leah Pisciotta\u2019s fear of being left alone and panic attacks started when she was 13 years old, but at the time, she didn\u2019t know there was a name for what she was feeling.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Her fear of a panic attack ultimately led her to skip her middle school graduation.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cI didn\u2019t want to walk it. I was too scared,\u201d she said. \u201cThen me and a friend and my brother walked over there to watch it, and I actually had a panic attack while I was there.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">The nearly 61-year old from San Jose, California, has suffered from agoraphobia most of her life.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cIt\u2019s basically ruined my whole life as far as doing things and holding down jobs,\u201d Pisciotta said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Agoraphobia, an anxiety disorder, is the fear and avoidance of \u201cplaces or situations that might cause panic and feelings of being trapped, helpless or embarrassed,\u201d according to the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mayoclinic.org\/diseases-conditions\/agoraphobia\/symptoms-causes\/syc-20355987\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Mayo Clinic<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Fear alone doesn\u2019t qualify it as a phobia, Huntsman Mental Institute therapist Taylor Berhow said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cThe first thing to understand about anxiety and fear generally is that it exists on a spectrum like anything else, and so when we talk about diagnosing somebody with an anxiety diagnosis, most of the diagnostic criteria are going to require that the individual is clinically impaired or disrupted by their symptoms,\u201d Berhow said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Such is the case for Pisciotta.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">As a result of her agoraphobia, Pisciotta has never driven more than 15 miles from her home by herself. She also couldn\u2019t be left home alone while her boyfriend, later her husband, went to work. She\u2019d either have to tag along or be dropped off at a friend\u2019s or family member\u2019s home.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">After a few years, her agoraphobia started to ease up. But when she began attending West Valley College, panicking returned and she dropped out of school.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cIt would kind of come and go,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">She added, \u201cThen I would get jobs and then I would start panicking more, and then I\u2019d have to come home or have my boyfriend come and get me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Pisciotta is terrified of having another panic attack. She can\u2019t talk herself out of them, so she avoids situations that could cause them.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cMy whole life has revolved around being phobic and I\u2019ve lost every job I\u2019ve had. I\u2019ve lost opportunities to make money like my sisters did and my brother did. So there\u2019s a lot of anger there, too.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">She has tried multiple medications, exposure therapy and intensive outpatient care over the years, but the grip of agoraphobia still comes and goes.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Pisciotta, who now lives with two of her sons, said her symptoms have been worse lately and she has lost her ability to drive again. Her sons now drive her where she needs to go.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cI was agoraphobic when they were born, and I know they missed out on a lot because I couldn\u2019t drive them places and stuff. But they are just \u2014 I don\u2019t even know how to explain it. They give me rides to places. They don\u2019t complain,&#8221; she said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">She is not alone in the fight against fear.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Debilitating fears go beyond phobias such as Pisciotta\u2019s agoraphobia. Individuals with OCD, anxiety and PTSD have also felt the life disruption caused by fear \u2014 and some have found a way to thrive despite it.<\/p>\n<p>Reconciling faith and OCD<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">On an early April morning, Jenny Kempton set a 20-minute timer for her scripture study. After 19 minutes, Kempton had to end her study early as it was time to leave.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">While being one minute short of a study goal might not mean much to most people, it did for Kempton, a licensed clinical social worker in Arizona.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">She feared God would be mad at her.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cI get this extreme fear like something bad\u2019s gonna (happen) if I don\u2019t do it, like I\u2019m gonna go to heck,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">That\u2019s Kempton\u2019s religious scrupulosity, a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">OCD is more than the need for cleanliness and order, which is how it\u2019s commonly portrayed. It\u2019s \u201cuncontrollable and recurring thoughts (obsessions), repetitive and excessive behaviors (compulsions) or both,\u201d according to the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nimh.nih.gov\/health\/topics\/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd#:~:text=Obsessive%2Dcompulsive%20disorder%20(OCD)%20is%20a%20disorder%20marked%20by,late%20childhood%20and%20young%20adulthood.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">National Institute of Mental Health<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">In addition to OCD, Kempton has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, attention-deficit\/hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Kempton\u2019s OCD goes beyond her religious worship.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">She must work out for exactly 30 minutes every day, sleep for eight hours and write three things she\u2019s grateful for and why.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Each of those are good habits, but they have morphed into a compulsion.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Kempton had previously tried therapy before enrolling in the OCD Anxiety Center\u2019s treatment program in 2023 as she sought additional professional help.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">The OCD Anxiety Center has been around for almost a decade and hopes to expand to 18 locations in the U.S. by the end of the year with three locations already in Utah.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">The center boasts a 73% rate of reduction in symptoms through its treatment program this quarter, according to Paul Peterson, its founder and CEO.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cWe don\u2019t talk people better,\u201d Peterson said. \u201cWe do not explore their past. What we know is they have a malfunction in their brain, and so we\u2019ve created a system to help change what\u2019s happening in their brain.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">The program consists of daily three-hour sessions, five days a week for 10 to 12 weeks.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cIt will change the trajectory of their life,\u201d Peterson said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Through the program, Kempton learned dialectical behavior therapy skills such as mindfulness and distress tolerance to reduce her levels and did what therapists call \u201cexposures\u201d that \u201cloosened up\u201d her OCD.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cI felt like I was free,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Kempton made so much progress that she graduated early, in just eight weeks.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">What hasn\u2019t been helpful for Kempton\u2019s OCD is well-intentioned individuals telling her to not be scared and to \u201cjust have faith.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">She has prayed for her OCD to go away, and the more she focuses on getting rid of it, the more obsessed she becomes with getting rid of it, which just makes matters worse. She said she wants people to see OCD and her experience with the disorder as the disruptive condition it is and that she needs to be loved the way she is.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cThis is a disease I was diagnosed with very high levels of before entering the OCD and anxiety treatment center. It is a condition that I fight every day. I don\u2019t want it, but it is my challenge on this earth for now. I don\u2019t like the fear, but I fight it with faith,\u201d Kempton said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">She added, \u201cI try to see the God that is my God, not the god that OCD creates. The loving, kind, gracious, merciful Savior and Heavenly Father who love me. The God who I know sees me, my efforts and my reality and that helps so much. It brings me peace amongst the storm. It brings me closer to him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Breaking free from fear and PTSD<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Following an abusive marriage, Kristynn Bellamy couldn\u2019t stand near a window; she feared her ex-husband could see her.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Nine months into their marriage, Bellamy was taken to the hospital for two weeks and she never went back home. A week after their first wedding anniversary, their divorce was finalized.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Bellamy was told she was \u201cclinically brainwashed\u201d by her ex-husband. The trauma she experienced was so severe that Bellamy still avoided windows and going out in case he\u2019d find her \u2014 even after his death.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">She\u2019d be diagnosed with PTSD at age 27. She had already been diagnosed with OCD, generalized anxiety and social anxiety.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cIt didn\u2019t stop my life like it does often to people,\u201d she said. \u201cI still made it to work \u2014 or back then school, whatever \u2014 but I was always looking over my shoulders.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Bellamy, like Kempton, also went through the OCD Anxiety Center\u2019s treatment program for help with her OCD and anxiety.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">She had tried talk therapy in the past and enrolled in the center\u2019s program because she didn\u2019t want to be scared anymore, she said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cI wanted to be able to take family places or be with family longer because I get into a space where I\u2019m like, \u2018OK, it\u2019s too much for me. I need to escape,\u2019\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">While there, Bellamy also worked on her PTSD.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Prior to beginning treatment, Bellamy hated her ex so much that she couldn\u2019t even look at a photo of him. She had every photo from their wedding destroyed, except for one she let her mother keep, as long as she hid it from her.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">She used that one photo to look at as part of her exposure treatment. While looking at the photo, she\u2019d let herself \u201cfeel all the feels.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Through those exposures, her hate dissipated.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Early on, she\u2019d see the photo on her phone and throw her phone across the room. Now, she can look at it, acknowledge the marriage happened and quickly move on to whatever she was doing.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">She completes that exposure every couple of weeks even now.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Since finishing the program, Bellamy has decided to go back to school through BYU Pathways to study family history, which is \u201csomething that\u2019s really freaking me out because it\u2019s not what I thought I would do,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cThe unknown is very nerve-wracking,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Normally, she\u2019d be bombarded with thoughts of how her decision will go wrong. Instead, she\u2019s trying to live the OCD Anxiety Center\u2019s motto: \u201cLive uncertain.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cI\u2019m just jumping, and that\u2019s what I learned is just to jump,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Bellamy wants to help others through her story and experiences in what she described as a \u201cblack, deep hole.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cThere is always hope, and I felt so completely broken, so completely unworthy of anything. I didn\u2019t think that I deserved to be fixed. I didn\u2019t deserve to find happiness or anything like that. And I know there\u2019s others that feel that way, too, and it\u2019s just not true. Am I completely in love with myself? No, not yet, but it\u2019s what I\u2019m working on,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">Bellamy understands how difficult it can be to take that next step to get help, whether it\u2019s for an individual\u2019s sake or their family\u2019s.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cFor me, my initial reasons for doing it was actually for my family. They deserved a healthier person in their life. I spend a lot of time with my nieces and my nephew, and they needed somebody who was healthier in the mind and body,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">She believes it\u2019s fine to let your family be your motivation if that\u2019s what you need to seek help, but she noted that your motivation will eventually expand.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">\u201cFor a long, long time, they were my only why, and if you have to go with that, go with it,\u201d she said. \u201cIf I need to do this so that my dog has a better human, then that\u2019s worth it to me, and eventually you find out you are worth it to do for yourself, too.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Leah Pisciotta\u2019s fear of being left alone and panic attacks started when she was 13 years old, but&hellip;\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":70604,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4317],"tags":[105,218,29855,16,15],"class_list":{"0":"post-70603","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-mental-health","8":"tag-health","9":"tag-mental-health","10":"tag-news-feed-national","11":"tag-uk","12":"tag-united-kingdom"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@uk\/114442807714551656","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70603","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=70603"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70603\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/70604"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=70603"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=70603"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=70603"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}