![\"A](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/GettyImages-1470789120.jpg\")
\n\t\tA helping hand. Volunteering and senior care. (Credits: Getty Images)<\/p>\n
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\n\t\tA helping hand. Volunteering and senior care. (Credits: Getty Images)<\/p>\n
During the day, Vic Lyons works full-time in dementia <\/a>care as a senior\u00a0Admiral Nurse. Her job is to help families <\/a>navigate the emotional and bureaucratic minefield of a disease that robs their loved ones of their independence, memories and cognitive functions.\u00a0<\/p>\n Although Vic would naturally display kindness and a sympathetic ear when listening to what people are going through, it is all the more poignant for her. <\/p>\n When she logs off to the day, Vic heads back to her home in Hertfordshire<\/a>, where she and her husband, Andrew, 53, care <\/a>for Andrew\u2019s 89-year-old mother\u00a0Margaret, who was diagnosed with dementia in January 2024. All while also raising their two sons, aged 15 and 12.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018At work, I support families going through dementia and, at home, I\u2019m in the thick of it,\u2019\u00a0 Vic, 51, tells\u00a0Metro<\/strong>. \u2018Mornings are consumed with getting Margaret dressed and the boys to school<\/a>, while evenings are spent coaxing her through confusion and helping my sons with homework. Then the weekends are swallowed by housework, bills and medication reviews.\u2019<\/p>\n There is thought to be up to 2.4million \u2018sandwich\u2019 carers in the UK \u2013 people stuck between looking after their children and elderly relatives<\/a> \u2013 something the nurse admits is \u2018a tough gig\u2019. <\/p>\n \u2018The demands are exhausting,\u2019 she admits. \u2018It feels like Groundhog Day and there\u2019s no respite. When you\u2019re caring for someone you love, there\u2019s no off switch. Both Andrew and I work full time, so every day demands careful planning. <\/p>\n \t\t \u2018Andrew gets his mum dressed and drops her off at the local day centre each morning, while I put her to bed in the evening. Her dementia is advanced, and her memory span is sometimes just seconds.\u2019<\/p>\n Vic explains that Margaret can no longer make herself a drink, and often forgets who the family are. \u2018She gets anxious when she\u2019s by herself. It takes all of us, including the boys, to care for her,\u2019 she says.<\/p>\n \u2018I know how hard it is for families because of my job \u2013 and yet the reality is so much harder than I ever thought it would be.\u2019<\/p>\n In 2021, Vic\u2019s mother-in-law moved from London<\/a> to a flat close to the family home, a move planned to preserve her independence for as long as possible.<\/p>\n \u2018She\u2019d stopped cooking dinners, taking her pills properly and going to the supermarket<\/a>,\u2019 remembers Vic. \u2018We didn\u2019t have an official diagnosis but, because of my job, I knew where this was headed. We discussed what care Margaret would need and moved her in around the corner because she still wanted her autonomy. We installed cameras and zone alerts for peace of mind \u2013 and count ourselves lucky that she sleeps through the night.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n However, Vic recognises that her mother-in-law will soon need around-the-clock care. \u2018Her condition is fast deteriorating,\u2019\u00a0she\u00a0adds sadly.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018We\u2019ve pressed the button on building an extension to our house next year. Margaret oscillates between not wanting to be a burden and not wanting to be alone. But for her welfare, we see no other choice than for her to move in with us.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t\t\tHow to sign up to our 2026 Metro Lifeline challenge\t\t\t<\/p>\n This year Metro.co.uk is proudly supporting Alzheimer’s Society<\/a> for our 2026 Lifeline campaign.<\/p>\n On Saturday 13 June 2026<\/strong>, we\u2019re inviting our readers to take on an incredible challenge: an epic hike through the stunning Cotswolds countryside \u2014 all to help support people living with dementia.<\/p>\n Choose your distance: 25km, 50km or 100km.<\/p>\n With registration starting at just \u00a315<\/strong>, and fundraising targets of \u00a3150 (25km)<\/strong>, \u00a3225 (50km)<\/strong> or \u00a3330 (100km)<\/strong>, you can push yourself as far as you want \u2014 while helping fund vital support and research.<\/p>\n Whether you sign up solo or take on the challenge with friends, you\u2019ll be part of Team Lifeline<\/strong>, with plenty of guidance, encouragement and support along the way. Every mile you walk and every pound you raise will help make a real difference for people facing the daily realities of dementia.<\/p>\n For our ‘everything you need to know’ guide, click here<\/a> – or if you’re already raring to sign up, click here<\/a>.<\/p>\n Thankfully,\u00a0Margaret\u00a0has enough money saved to fund the day centre\u00a0costs\u00a0where she receives specialist dementia support and companionship during the week while\u00a0Vic and Andrew are at work.\u00a0Still, the couple will need to remortgage their house to pay for the extension.<\/p>\n \t\t While the family have had to confront the costs of later-life care, a new poll has revealed just how much Britain is burying its head in the sand when it comes to ageing, care needs and the price tags\u00a0attached.<\/p>\n A national survey of UK adults aged 45-+ reveals that two-thirds (62%) have never discussed later-life care with a parent or partner, while only 6% have a clear plan for how they or their parents will be supported as they age.<\/p>\n In fact, an astonishing 94% of people don\u2019t talk about these things until forced to by circumstance.\u00a0It was only when Margaret began to display worrying symptoms that it prompted conversations about care, highlighting how even the most informed families often delay planning until they are forced to act.\u00a0<\/p>\n The research, commissioned by Age Space, the UK\u2019s leading online hub for families supporting elderly relatives, paints a picture of widespread confusion, financial uncertainty and what campaigners are calling a \u2018dangerous national silence\u2019.\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t Vic explains that she also worries about the emotional impact the situation is having on their family \u2013 especially their two boys.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018When Margaret\u2019s distressed, they can feel a bit scared and unsure how to react,\u2019 she explains. \u2018She sometimes thinks Andrew is her husband and I\u2019m the other woman \u2013 it\u2019s hard for the boys to hear this. I want them to feel they can invite friends around and be normal noisy teenagers.<\/p>\n \u2018I feel constantly torn. If the boys come home and want to talk but Andrew\u2019s mum is becoming distressed or needs something, I have to prioritise her.<\/p>\n \t\t \u2018On special occasions such as Christmas<\/a> Day, I worry she\u2019ll get upset and I don\u2019t want the boys to carry that memory. I also feel sad that they probably won\u2019t sit and watch a movie with us \u2013 there\u2019s an emotional barrier there now because of Nan.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n The personal toll of being a sandwich carer, is also something that resonates with Vic. \u2018You\u2019re caring for everyone except yourself,\u2019 she admits. \u2018We get an hour watching TV at night if we\u2019re lucky. I haven\u2019t been to the gym in a year, and holidays look impossible for us now.<\/p>\n \u2018Last year, we went to Portugal<\/a> while Margaret stayed with her sister, but a UTI led to delirium and she was admitted to hospital. We spent our holiday speaking to doctors and worried sick about her.\u2019<\/p>\n For Vic, the silence around care in the UK is rooted in fear, rather than avoidance.<\/p>\n \u2018People don\u2019t know where to start. The topic is wrapped up in fear \u2013 fear of cost, fear of losing independence, fear of aging. It isn\u2019t easy,\u2019 she says.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018People imagine caring is popping in to make a cup of tea. But it\u2019s navigating memory loss, safety worries, emotional distress and guilt. And most people have no idea how much support they will need until they\u2019re already drowning.\u2019<\/p>\n To tackle Britain\u2019s care silence, Age Space has launched the Prepare to Care campaign, fronted by broadcaster Janet Ellis. The campaign urges families to have earlier conversations about care, ideally years before decisions are forced on them by crisis.\u00a0For more information, click here<\/a>. <\/p>\n Arrow Arrow Arrow![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Vic-Lyons-2-8ff9.jpg\")
\n\t\tVic is one of thousands of \u2018sandwich\u2019 carers in the UK<\/p>\n![\"Great](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/GettyImages-1749803059.jpg\")
\n\t\tTwo-thirds of UK adults have never discussed later-life care with a parent or partner (Credits: Getty Images)<\/p>\n![\"Tired](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/GettyImages-1619248795.jpg\")
\n\t\tSituations like Vic\u2019s can also have an impact on the children in the family (Credits: Getty Images)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Vic-outside-e670.jpg\")
\n\t\tBeing a sandwich carer has also taken a personal toll on Vic<\/p>\n
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