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\n\t\tResearch has uncovered the scale of nursery illnesses that plague families (Picture: Rachel Moss)<\/p>\n
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\n\t\tResearch has uncovered the scale of nursery illnesses that plague families (Picture: Rachel Moss)<\/p>\n
When my son first started nursery, we were called to pick him up early eight times in 10 weeks.<\/p>\n
As I sat in meetings, determined to prove I could still do my job after 10 months of maternity leave, my stomach would drop when the nursery number flashed on my phone<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n During those first weeks of childcare we were hit by a brutal mix of norovirus, conjunctivitis, hand foot and mouth, colds, coughs, and norovirus again. And though ours may have been a particularly unlucky run, it\u2019s not uncommon for new parents to need time off work just as they return to the office.<\/p>\n New research<\/a> from University College London suggests an otherwise healthy child starting nursery aged one will experience around 18 illnesses in their first year.<\/p>\n This includes 12\u201315 respiratory infections, two gastrointestinal illnesses (diarrhoea and vomiting), and one or two rash-causing infections, which, as the study notes, will \u2018have a substantial knock-on effect for working parents\u2019.<\/p>\n Nothing could have prepared me for the emotional toll. The physical ache of wanting to hold my poorly boy brought me close to handing in my notice \u2014 bills be damned.<\/p>\n We got through it by sharing time off equally as much as possible and begging the grandparents for help. I hid the worst of it from my team and manager, working late nights and early mornings to mask any shortfall, all while fighting off illnesses myself.<\/p>\n To be clear, nobody asked me to do this, but nobody told me how to handle the situation, either. NCT prepares you for birth, health<\/a> visitors help with the first year, then it all goes\u2026a bit quiet.<\/p>\n \u2018Honestly this is the sort of shit no one tells you about parenting<\/a>,\u2019 reads one of the many Reddit<\/a> comments on the subject. \u2018You have to uncover it \u201con the job\u201d \u2026 it\u2019s an extremely stressful and lonely place to be at times.\u2019<\/p>\n \t\t Anna Whitehouse, founder of Mother Pukka and the Flex Appeal campaign, has experienced the \u2018relentless nursery calls\u2019 with her three daughters, now ages one, eight and 12.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018It\u2019s almost like the minute you feel lucky enough to have got a place in a childcare setting \u2013 and it\u2019s a bit of a bunfight with waiting lists of six months to two years for that \u2013 you almost then completely forget about the tsunami of sickness bugs, norovirus and flu coming,\u2019 the 44-year-old, from Hertfordshire<\/a>, tells Metro. \u2018<\/strong>I was completely debilitated by it.\u2019<\/p>\n The part nobody talks about, she says, is the heart-wrenching toss-up between \u2018head or heart\u2019 \u2014 deciding whether to send your child to nursery at the first sign of illness.\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t \u2018There\u2019s this deep-rooted pain and anxiety<\/a> of your child being on the edge of not being very well, and thinking, do I administer this Calpol in the hope that she can get in? Because I\u2019m so worried about my boss thinking I\u2019m skiving or slacking in some way by having to look after my own child.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018What we don\u2019t talk about is the silence, the quiet around those decisions where you\u2019re almost prioritising going to an office over temperature symptoms from your own child.\u2019<\/p>\n Although parents have a legal right to time off when children are ill, whether that time is paid is at the employer\u2019s discretion.<\/p>\n This creates a grey area, forcing parents \u2014 particularly mothers \u2014 into awkward conversations about policy or to use annual leave just after returning to work.<\/p>\n \u2018There\u2019s been such a deliberate misunderstanding of what it is to work and parent, the conversation often centers around, \u201cwell, you chose to have children\u201d, like having kids is a recreational side hustle or a hobby, like I\u2019ve taken on a guinea pig,\u2019 says Anna.<\/p>\n \u2018I think what is often lost, in blunt terms, is \u201cno, I\u2019m raising the employees of your future company. I\u2019m raising children who are going to be paying for your pensions.\u201d Continuing to raise the next generation is fundamental. It\u2019s a second shift, a double job.\u2019<\/p>\n Parents working in England\u2019s stretched public services can feel even more torn.<\/p>\n Maria Culley, a nanny since 2012, mainly cares for the children of frontline workers \u2018who just can\u2019t take time off easily\u2019.<\/p>\n The 37-year-old says she often receives requests from NHS staff whose children have been sent home from nursery.<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m part of this massive Whatsapp group where there\u2019s parents asking daily, \u201cdoes anyone know who can cover this?\u201d\u2019 she tells Metro.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u2018If they take time off work it impacts multiple people, not just staff-wise, but planned operations and procedures can\u2019t go ahead.\u2019<\/p>\n She says she \u2018absolutely\u2019 sees the emotional conflict.<\/p>\n \u2018Most people that work in the NHS, they\u2019re in a caring role, so they take that job seriously. It\u2019s really a pull of professional love and professional care in their role, and the love and care to their child as a parent. It pulls them from both sides.\u2019<\/p>\n Rachel Grocott, CEO of Pregnant Then Screwed, points out that in heterosexual partnerships it\u2019s women who still \u2018disproportionately take on childcare, especially when children are ill\u2019.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018It\u2019s yet another way the motherhood penalty shows up,\u2019 she says, citing reduced hours, reduced visibility in workplaces and reduced pay. The latest ONS stats show<\/a> five years after the birth of their first child, women\u2019s monthly pay is reduced by 42%.<\/p>\n \u2018[There\u2019s] a subtle but very clear judgement that mums<\/a> are somehow less committed or capable,\u2019 she tells Metro.<\/strong> \u2018This is something we\u2019ve heard repeatedly over the last decade of supporting working mums.\u2019<\/p>\n \t\t Anna would like to see clear policies on child sickness written into contracts, ideally mirroring employee sick pay \u2014 or at the very least, genuine flexibility.<\/p>\n Rachel agrees, arguing employers are ultimately \u2018repaid\u2019 with loyal staff \u2018more likely to stay committed to a role\u2019.<\/p>\n \u2018It is a reality of life that children need to be cared for when they\u2019re ill, and parents need to be supported, not penalised, in providing this care,\u2019 says Rachel, who\u2019s mum to two children aged seven and 11.<\/p>\n \u2018We need to acknowledge this reality, provide proper support to employees who are also parents, and challenge this dangerous stereotype \u2013 which is based on totally outdated gendered assumptions about the way care works.\u2019<\/p>\n This week marks a year since I returned from maternity leave. For any parents currently in the trenches of weekly nursery calls, there is some reassurance: it does get (marginally) better.<\/p>\n One silver lining in the UCL findings is that children who attend nursery tend to have fewer illnesses later at school.<\/p>\n But as Anna points out, the conversation sparked by this research highlights how far the UK still has to go in supporting mothers who return to the workplace.<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m just heartbroken for a generation of mothers who were told to reach for the stars, you can do anything or be anyone, and the reality is, you can\u2019t,\u2019 she says.<\/p>\n \u2018We are that transitional generation of mothers who are being caught in the crossfire of a working world that\u2019s saying, \u201cwe want to close our gender pay gap, we want to support mothers in the workplace, here\u2019s our Women\u2019s Network, here\u2019s our group discussing maternity rights within our organisation\u201d, and yet when it comes down to it, the reality is we are faced with these utterly heartbreaking decisions weekly.<\/p>\n \u2018We can\u2019t keep being put in these positions where our heart is being torn in two.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n Arrow Arrow Arrow![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/20240623_155522-4b4c-e1774022645289.jpg\")
\n\t\tLifestyle Editor Rachel on maternity leave with her son (Picture: Rachel Moss)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/IMG-20260320-WA0003-8fae.jpg\")
\n\t\tMother Pukka founder Anna Whitehouse with her youngest daughter (Picture: Supplied)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/image0-3-3edc.jpeg\")
\n\t\tRachel Grocott, CEO of Pregnant Then Screwed (Picture: Supplied)<\/p>\n
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