Critique is often communicated to young athletes and other performers in a manner that is ignored, meaningless, or even offensive for the person on the receiving end. While the intent for delivering the information is well intended, the efforts will fall flat if ineffectively given.<\/p>\n
Wise feedback is a concept introduced in a 2014 research study conducted by David Yeager, Geoffrey Cohen, et al. with the purpose of assisting coaches, instructors, parents, etc., to improve the quality of their work with young people.<\/p>\n
My experience has demonstrated that wise feedback is effective for delivering critique to people of any age, not just the young.<\/p>\n
The objective, herein, is to assist readers to improve their communication with young people.<\/p>\n
Unwise Feedback<\/p>\n
Coaches yelling at an athlete<\/a> when they make a mistake or giving them silent (not so quiet) dirty looks. Parents yelling at their kids after a mistake is made at a sporting event. Instructors berating their young musicians for hitting the wrong note. All of this will likely distract the person on the receiving end through the thoughts and emotions that will show up within them when spoken to with an angry, disrespectful tone and body language<\/a>. That internal experience can distract and lead to more mistakes, not to mention a damaged relationship between mentor and mentee.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s a very thin line between correcting a guy and disrespecting the guy in the process of correcting him,\u201d reflected former Seattle Seahawks running backs coach Sherman Smith during an interview with me.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat is the goal, trying to let \u2018em know I\u2019m mad,\u201d he continued, \u201cor trying to correct their behavior? When you step over the line\u2014a personal insult, you called him a name\u2014you\u2019ve attacked their character, instead of what they did.\u201d<\/p>\n That’s great wisdom<\/a> regarding unwise feedback from a guy that coached in the National Football League for 18 years and played in the NFL. He might know a little about effective communication and coaching<\/a>.<\/p>\n Then we have coaches yelling things like \u201cjust throw strikes\u201d to a baseball pitcher or \u201cget a grip!\u201d Or teachers who lash out with, “Pay attention<\/a>!\u201d Does any of this help explain how to accomplish all that? Does it help that it\u2019s said with a public, humiliating display of frustration or anger<\/a>?<\/p>\n Consider feedback such as \u201cGreat job, Rachel\u201d or \u201cyou\u2019re wonderful.\u201d Both are hollow with nothing explaining what the \u201cgreat\u201d or \u201cwonderful\u201d are all about. It might deliver temporary joy to the recipient but fails to reinforce specific elements of success. It can also be construed as superficial glad-handing.<\/p>\n More Unwise Feedback<\/p>\n A popular method used by coaches, instructors, and other youth mentors is the compliment sandwich. This approach delivers criticism wedged between two compliments. It would sound something like this:<\/p>\n I love your energy on the field, but you need to pay better attention. Your teammates really look up to you.<\/p>\n These compliments are vague and the criticism offers little instruction. Such feedback is unhelpful.<\/p>\n According to Yeager, research reveals that compliment sandwiches are ineffective and can be received negatively by young people. The compliments come across as bland and inauthentic. As a result, he explains, “Listeners latch on to the criticism and view it as a personal attack.”<\/p>\n It\u2019s like being handed a sandwich with spoiled cold cuts, served between slices of stale bread.<\/p>\n A Wiser Approach<\/p>\n \u201cWe had instructors be critical with their feedback but accompany that criticism with a clear and transparent statement about the reason they were giving that feedback\u2014namely that they (the instructor) believed the student could meet the high standard if they got the right support,\u201d Yeager wrote in 10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People, a book published in 2024, offering research-based guidance for working with young people. It is advice gleaned from Yeager\u2019s 2014 study.<\/p>\n Respect for the recipient is the starting point for issuing wise feedback by expressing, calmly and explicitly, belief in the person\u2019s ability to achieve high standards with the coach\u2019s support. Next, specific criticism and instruction is offered with the same composed respect.<\/p>\n The information isn\u2019t forced upon the individual. They are asked, not demanded, to give it a shot. Their autonomy is respected and the decision to do it is up to the recipient.<\/p>\n Wise feedback doesn\u2019t tear down the athlete or performer\u2019s behavior; it tweaks it, offering tidbits for improvement. A complete dismantling of what the athlete or performer is doing can communicate disrespect and undermine their belief in themselves.<\/p>\n Asking for the athlete\/performer\u2019s feedback on how the instruction works for them is another key element of wise feedback. It\u2019s another display of respect for the athlete\/performer and demonstrates coach\/instructor humility and receptivity to critique.<\/p>\n