On a scale from the Comedy Cellar to the basement of Sahadi’s, what is Emil Wakim’s NYQ? This is NYQ, a series in which we find out how “New York” notable New Yorkers really are.
How many years have you lived in New York? Six.
You could make one subway-etiquette rule law — what would it be? You can’t read a book while standing up. That’s arrogant, and it makes me feel bad about my reading skills.
Your cabdriver is taking you on a horrible route. Do you interrupt? Yeah, but passive-aggressively. Maybe I go, “Is this — is this close? I think maybe it’s this.”
How often do you take public transportation to the airport? One time, to Newark, and I think that earned me the excuse of not having to do it again.
Someone tries to hand you a flyer on the street — what do you do? Take it and then throw it away like five feet later.
It’s a blinking red light and you’re about to cross — do you wait it out till it says “walk,” or are you crossing? No, I cross, but I look both ways.
You have family coming to town in 24 hours — what do you do with them on short notice? There’s a place in Queens called Abuqir. It’s like Egyptian seafood. It’s really good.
Someone you want to impress asks for restaurant advice — what neighborhood do you send them to for the best Lebanese food? East Village. Or is it the Lower East Side? I always confuse the two.
Where do you go when you want to feel like home? There’s a place called Ilili. That’s really great. I do that.
What grocery store do you go to to find hard-to-find ingredients? There’s a place by me, it’s like a Syrian-Korean fusion place. It’s called SYKO — like SY for Syrian, KO for Korean.
What’s the most iconic old New York SWANA spot in the city? Sahadi’s.
Someone says the rats are actually cute — what’s your honest response? You haven’t had one run over your foot before.
What’s your area code? 630.
Do you think they matter? Yeah, when I see a 917, I go, “All right.”
Do you call Manhattan “the city” or just Manhattan? I alternate to see what sticks.
What’s the most you’ve ever paid for a coffee in New York City? Under nine. When you get into double digits, then it’s like — that’s food. That’s solids, you know?
What’s something a tourist does that you secretly still do? Well, I look at my phone as soon as I come out of the subway to see what direction I should walk.
Do you own a car? Have you ever admitted that out loud? Yeah. The neighborhood I lived in is like very old Irish, old Italian neighborhoods, and someone told me that the guys used to beat up the parking-ticket people, so that’s why they don’t ticket there as much. I don’t know if that’s true or not.
Bedbugs or roaches? Roaches are terrible, but then bedbugs are smaller, but then they’re in your bed. If it’s where I’m sleeping, I can’t do that. So — roaches?
Roaches or rats? Roaches.
Which is worse: Dimes Square or Hudson Yards? Dimes Square has like an annoying stereotype — people are kind of like, uh, jeans and a tank top. But Hudson Yards is like a mall, so probably Hudson Yards.
Have you ever gotten a piece of furniture off the street? I have two photos up in my apartment that I got off the street. One is of the New York City skyline and it still has the World Trade Center, so it’s vintage. The other one I use as a frame — I took the thing out and I drew a little picture of my dog with colored pencils.
Do you touch the subway poles? The inside of my elbow does. If I do, then that hand is like dead for the day.
Where do you go to cry? How many times have I cried in New York? Maybe like under five. I definitely feel emotions.
What about NYC still makes no sense to you? How they built tunnels — I still don’t really get that.
What’s a place that closed that you wish you could bring back? There was a comedy club, Carolines, in Times Square that was great.
Sexiest New Yorker? Jalen Brunson now.
Have you ever cried over a New York sports team? No. No, I’m not 12 years old.
How much do you pay when you go to the Met? I think like five bucks. ’Cause I’m like, don’t I pay taxes?
What percent did you tip your last Uber driver? 10 percent. It should be more.
What’s the nicest thing a stranger has done for you in New York? Probably just someone telling me, like, “Hey, there’s a thing on that, don’t sit on that.”
Best New York celebrity sighting? Oh, I saw Zohran today. I was walking in the park. He was speed walking with people around him.