You don’t have to tell me twice that reading is sexy. If the man sitting opposite me on the train is so engrossed in his Hemingway that he hardly looks up to check whether we’ve reached his stop, sign me up. Arriving at someone’s house for the first time and seeing that instead of a PS4 they have a bookshelf full of classics? Exciting. Quoting Joan Didion in conversation? You get the idea.
This kind of drooling may be expected from me, since my job is to rustle around in a nest of fine literature, but I’m far from the only one who thinks that being interested in books — ever heard of them? — is one of today’s hottest hobbies. The pop star Dua Lipa has recently launched a monthly books podcast, and Dior has released a chic range of bags adorned with the covers of centuries-old classics. There’s even an Instagram account called @hotdudesreading, which has more than a million followers.
It makes sense, then, that a bookshop is a good place to look for the love of your life — or at least the love of this particular chapter of your life — not only because the clientele have an attention span that lasts longer than the average TikTok video, but because potential ice-breakers are always only a few feet away. Have you read much Tolstoy? What did you think of last year’s Booker winner?
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An event at Book Club Bar in New York in June
Lest we forget that in the Richard Curtis rom-com Notting Hill Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts’s characters hook up because he spots her between the shelves of his travel bookshop, where she plumps for a hardback titled Turkish Delights instead of the Istanbul history he so heartily recommends.
Now, some entrepreneurial people have caught on to this spike in readers keen on romance. Or should that be romantics keen on reading? In 2023 a start-up called Bored of Dating Apps (or Boda) began hosting offline dating events in trendy New York bookshops, encouraging singletons to bring along a copy of their favourite book and hand it over (with their phone number scrawled across the title page) to anyone they happen to hit it off with.
Jess Evans, founder of Boda, insists that this “read dating’’ is a hit. “Gen Z never really got to experience what it’s like to flirt spontaneously with a stranger in a coffee shop or get asked out on the spot,” she says. “And millennials are longing for something pre-apps, something that feels more like when they met in bars and through friends. Our events are about people meeting in organic settings without the cringe of traditional speed-dating. Demand has skyrocketed.”
This year Boda events have migrated across the Atlantic — so far to London, Manchester, Oxford and Liverpool. And to see whether they are as popular as promised, I slide a copy of Simone de Beauvoir’s excellent 1966 novel The Image of Her into my handbag and head to one held at Finsbury Park’s BookBar, a social spot loved by the north London literati.
At first I’m concerned by the crop of books that the other attendees are clutching. I spy a well-loved copy of The Guest List by Lucy Foley, a thriller about a deadly wedding on a remote island, and a hefty recent edition of Neil Gaiman’s American Gods; the woman it belongs to reveals that she hopes it “is pagan enough to ward off any religious nutters’’.
I pray she doesn’t bump into the rucksack-wearing Christian gentleman carrying a copy of Notes on Feminism: Being a Woman in a Church Led by Men. Also circulating is the fresh-blue cover of Vincenzo Latronico’s uber-popular millennial satire Perfection, Donna Tartt’s bestselling novel The Secret History, and an early book by the Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow author Gabrielle Zevin.
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When I ask people about their choices, most have good reasons. A dark-haired lawyer has brought a battered paperback copy of In Memoriam by Alice Winn because she thought “it was all right” and doesn’t want to hand over any of her more well-loved books to someone else.
A 32-year-old American consultant is carrying around Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang because he thinks people will have watched the film Arrival, starring Amy Adams, which is based on one of the collection’s tales. One woman brings a book she wrote. Maybe it’s to show off or maybe it’s because she has plenty of copies to give away.
As at any dating event, there are a few slightly shifty-looking people who lurk at the back. I ask the one person I find who has failed to bring a book what would be the worst title he could imagine someone choosing for the event, but my question is greeted with silence. “Mein Kampf?” I suggest. He fails to laugh.
Mostly though, this is a dating event free from awkwardness. Everyone is in high spirits and keen to get stuck in. The room is full of loud laughter and enthusiastic chatter, so much so that some of the daters retreat out of the bookshop and into the street. They all seem buoyed by the fact that if conversation falters, they can always fall back on talking about books.
When I ask people why they came, forking out £25 for a ticket, which includes a generous glass of wine but otherwise seems slightly steep, their answers are all the same: the apps are dying; they are bored of digital conversations fizzling into nothing.
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They want to meet someone offline, like people used to do. And the statistics on the subject suggest that their feelings are widespread: according to a report published by Ofcom last year, membership to the UK’s top ten dating apps fell by 16 per cent between 2023 and 2024, with Tinder losing 594,000 users, Bumble 368,000 and Hinge 131,000.
“Generation Z turned 18 and headed straight on to the apps,” one guy tells me, shaking his head in despair. “They don’t know any better. They think it’s normal. They don’t know how much better it is to meet somebody in real life, at this kind of event.” Another attendee, standing outside on a cigarette break, agrees. “It’s basically a bar where everyone feels like they have the permission to talk to strangers. That’s very refreshing.”
Whether “read dating” will take off is yet to be seen. But if the events across the country are as buzzy and reinvigorating as the one I attended, it’s certainly possible. Either way, it seems young people are finally heeding the wise advice of the film-maker John Waters: “If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books, don’t f*** them.”
BookBar Chelsea, London, August 5; Gulp Fiction, Oxford, August 21; Book Club Bar, New York, September 29; boredofdatingapps.com
Between the covers: what your read-dating book says about you 
Precipice by Robert Harris
Old soul. Mostly reads non-fiction. Enjoyed watching Conclave at the cinema. Maybe has one of those cinema subscriptions that allow unlimited film-watching. Plays golf at weekends. Already looking forward to an early retirement somewhere on the south coast.
Just Kids by Patti Smith
Arty type. Gallery frequenter. Lives in Hackney or Leeds. Plasters bedroom walls with photos and posters that don’t have frames. Sticks candles into the top of wine bottles before hosting mid-week dinner parties. Insists that Glastonbury is the highlight of their social calendar.
A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas
Likes a bit of literary filth but won’t stoop to reading Fifty Shades of Grey on public transport. Enjoyed The Lord of the Rings as a teenager. Wears long skirts and floaty floral dresses. Organises their bookshelf alphabetically. Looking for an elfish partner with pointy ears.
We Do Not Part by Han Kang
Studied politics at university. Clued into the goings-on of the books world and pays attention to which authors win which prizes. Enjoys fiction in translation, but the Japanese kind rather than metropolitan European stuff. Uses the word “derivative’’ too much.
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
Refuses to read books published in the 21st century. Also refuses to read hardbacks. Works in finance or some other City job that seems to require wearing a gilet. Has aspirations to write a novel one day. Buys expensive wine. Argues with their parents.
Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman
Spends more time on social media than they are willing to admit. Downloads apps such as Headspace and Calm. Spent their gap year in Thailand and Bali. Wears Birkenstock sandals. Meets friends at a lido rather than the pub. Believes wholeheartedly in soulmates.
Three Days in June by Anne Tyler
Taught how to knit by a grandparent. Makes mood boards using photos cut out of magazines. Prefers winter to summer. Dislikes books that don’t involve any kind of romance. Keen to get married before the age of 30, but only if the future spouse comes from a nice family.