Imagine tuning in for comedy & fatty JB Pritzker is on your TV.
PublishedAugust 6, 2025 2:41 PM EDT•UpdatedAugust 6, 2025 3:42 PM EDT
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Just imagine if Stephen Colbert had the nuts to do this to the Libs back during COVID.
The CBS “Late Show” host actually showed some balance during a Tuesday night episode of his dead-man walking talk show that is on the chopping block after reportedly losing $40 million a year.
While chatting it up with fat boy Illinois governor JB Pritzker, who will soon go head-to-head with fraud Gavin Newsom for the Democratic nomination, Colbert actually confronted Pritzker over gerrymandering in Illinois.
Viewers, all 50 of them who wanted to hear about politics at midnight, watched as Colbert joked the Illinois map looked like “the stinger on a scorpion.”
“If you are considering doing a little more redrawing in Illinois, you already have some crazy districts in Illinois,” Colbert said to Pritzker’s face.
“Take a look at this. Look at 17 here,” the comedian said while showing the map to his audience. “It does that, then it comes up here and it sneaks around there and goes all the way up here, and then goes right over there like that. And look at this one, kind of goes whoop up there. It’s like the stinger on a scorpion down here.”
“Is this common for all states to do?” Colbert asked.
Fat boy, a member of the family that owns the Hyatt hotel chain, rambled on about how the Texas Republicans are not playing by the normal set of rules.
“Every 10 years we do a census in this country and right after the census we redraw district in every state. But what the Republicans are trying to do in the Texas Republicans frankly at the behest of Donald Trump, are doing it mid-decade. That is extraordinarily rare,” fatty railed.
Ignore the fact that Colbert showed some balls for once, is this really what you want out of late-night television?
Imagine busting your ass at a desk job selling cars for 12 hours. You spent the day crunching numbers and trying to get people with shitty credit into a Kia.
Then, after work, your wife had you attending marriage counseling before the 12-year relationship comes to an end, which you’re all for, but there are kids and you just have seven more years until they’re paid off and you don’t owe Nicole another penny.
Dinner sucked. Marriage counseling sucked.
The dog took a wet dump on the carpet.
Your MLB picks didn’t hit.
Then, at 11:45, you see the “Late Show” on YouTubeTV and decide to give it a shot. Remember, these shows used to be fun, full of ridiculous comedy bits. Water cooler material.
(This scenario is highly unlikely with any guy who doesn’t have pronouns in his bio, BTW. Just go with it.)
You dial up the Late Show and there is fat, tub of Hyatt French fry lard JB Pritzker telling you how he’s going to make your life better.
Nope, you’re out.
This is where we’re at with late-night television, which means it is done. Dead. Go ahead and cut your losses. Fire everyone and move on. Newspapers had to go through this and change finally came to late-night TV.
When Pritzker is our option on a Tuesday night, it’s over. It’s time to Old Yeller this format once and for all.