2025 NYS Fair, Thurs. Aug. 28 Big winners on a drizzly night at the 2025 NYS Fair. (Steve Featherstone/Steve Featherstone)
The New York State Fair has come and gone, and now we can assure ourselves — we are better, smarter, healthier, more civilized people than we were last week.
Who was that person last Sunday, dropping it low at the Shaggy concert after downing four wine slushies and a hot beef sundae? Couldn’t have been you.
Before entering the school year and the Long Dark of Winter in Central New York, we must tell ourselves some harmless lies to offset the strange behavior we displayed these past two weeks of August. Next year, we’ll do it all again.
Lie #1: You’re a big winner!
The stuffed unicorn you won for your girlfriend will be cherished forever. It was a rare “big win” at the balloon dart game on the Midway. Even the balloon dart guy said so.
She loves the stuffed unicorn and will never throw it away, or put it in her garage to collect dust for the next 11 months. You will be together forever. The unicorn will have a prominent place of honor at your wedding day.
NYS Fair Midway Games Blockbuster game at the New York State Fair Midway. (Geoff Herbert | gherbert@syracuse.com) (Geoff Herbert) Lie #2: It’s not that expensive!
Admission is only $8 and the concerts are free.
Yes, you paid $12 for the parking, and $30 for the Midway wristbands, $5 for the pizze frittes, $40 for face-painting, roughly $75 for everyone’s lunch, and $15 to drown your sorrows in a Hopscotch Butterscotch after losing $27 on 27 rounds of “I Got It.”
You also fell for the $10 suggested donation to the man who slayed the bigfoot, which caused your 4-year-old to ask dark questions about death the entire ride home.
Fine, yeah, it wasn’t cheap. You swear you won’t go to the fair again… unless the kids ask next year. Fine, but you’re not stepping on the Midway again, so help you god.
2025 NYS Fair, Thurs. Aug. 28 A drizzly evening on the Midway at the 2025 NYS Fair. (Steve Featherstone/Steve Featherstone) Lie #3: You weren’t lost!
Your friends decided to get more Orange Slam Dunks and said, “Stay here, we’ll be right back,” which was hardly realistic when there were all these chickens and rabbits, tractors, dancing cops, neon lights and butter sculptures to look at.
You got in line for a giant cream puff, and everyone started calling and texting. They joked about putting a lost kid tag on you, which was insulting because you’re a grown man.
Maybe they’re the ones who got lost! Have they ever thought of that?
NYS Fair 100,396 attended the fair on Saturday, Aug. 30. (Charlie Miller | cmiller@syracuse.com) (Charlie Miller/(Charlie Miller | cmiller@syracuse.com)) Lie #4: Your kids love your fair traditions!
You are four years old, rocking this stroller ride with your sippy cup and gummy snacks. You tried a cup of milk and it was fine. Mom made a huge deal about it.
Now Mom insists you try a sugar dough thing called a pizze fritte. It looks nothing like pizza. You took one bite and raised an eyebrow, but she wants you to try it again.
You smiled and told her it was good, because she said to behave today. She bought two more dough things to take home, and put them in the stroller with you. There is sugar everywhere. You are sticky and furious.
Pizze fritte No, it’s not pizza. It’s the world famous pizze fritte at the NYS Fair. (Chris Baker/Chris Baker) Lie #5: The caricature artist wasn’t flirting!
The $30 fair caricature was well worth the money. Your girlfriend looks great in it and the artist even drew your stuffed banana prize. The artist did put your eyes too close together and made your arms look like noodles but haha, you know how to take a joke.
You shall frame this and hang this in your home someday. People will comment on this ironic, hilarious portrayal, and you were obviously happy to support a local artist. Wait, the artist lives in Florida? Wait, how do you know that? Wait, he follows you on Instagram?
Caricatures NYS Fair Couples get caricatures drawn at the New York State Fair. (Sunny Hernandez) Lie #6: Your kid could be an influencer!
This year, your kid planned to launch a foodie TikTok, because she has the new iPhone and the features are “sick.” But the fair was so busy, and the lines were so long, and it was hard to get good content.
She (you) stood in line for 30 minutes and paid $25 for a Dubai chocolate surprise, but for some reason, the glistening brown and green chocolate monstrosity didn’t look as good as it did online.
You recorded a clip of her eating it, but didn’t use the 0.5 setting, and now she can’t post it, because it’s “cringe.”
It is all your fault. She hasn’t spoken to you since Sunday, but next year, you will be a better parent.
Pride Day at the New York State Fair The Pride Day parade at The New York State Fair Friday, August 22, 2025, in Geddes, N.Y.
Scott Schild | sschild@syracuse.com
(Scott Schild/Scott Schild | sschild@syracuse.com) Lie #7: You won’t get stuck in traffic!
You’re a sober, safe, good driver, officer. You know the zipper technique and give the right of way. But your terrible evil twin emerged during rush hour while dropping the kids off at the Jessie Murph show. You did not mean to roll down the window and yell what you yelled. You don’t even know who Jessie Murph is.
You will never sit in two hours of fair traffic again. You will cleverly sneak in through Solvay and skip all the traffic next year, which no one else has ever tried.
NYS Fair traffic Traffic backed up to Hiawatha Blvd to get into the NYS Fair. (N. Scott Trimble) Lie #8: You won’t buy anything at the Center of Progress!
It seemed like a great idea at the time to walk through the Center of Progress building after knocking back a few pickle whiskey shots.
Perhaps you should have discussed a major purchase with your partner before signing the “no returns” paperwork for a deluxe new massage chair.
There is no space in the house for this. You said you wouldn’t do this again after the hot tub incident of 2019. Maybe you can sell it on Facebook marketplace before anyone finds out.